Precious Illusions
by Silverbulletsdeath
Summary: Azula sees and hears things that aren’t there. She can only think about who ruined her and the girl in the corner. She is about to get free. Previously Book Four: Air
1. Once

Author's note to begin it: This is a warning of sorts. I couldn't get this idea out of my head, and that's why I haven't updated my other stories, pathetic, yes, but I'll explain the fic anyway. This is a rant fic of sorts. It's in story form and it explores all the questions (well the most pressing ones) and irritations I had about the avatar show. I'm still a fan, but some things bugged me. Like, are there really no air benders left? Can a race truly be completely destroyed with no trace? Why can't I feel anything but frustration towards Azula. I didn't even feel pity toward what her character had become. And the fact that the Avatar seems set on making as much sap in a fic as possible. So while I answered these I also made the fic as annoying as possible. As in, yes, I made as many mistakes while writing in this story as possible, sans grammar and spelling which I botch up without doing it perfectly. An example would be two of the stories main characters in this fic are original characters. There's a lot more, but you'll have to find them yourselves (if you read it). So this fic is done, I'll update it every two weeks, if I forget and you care just nudge me and I'll get it up as soon as I see the message. Oh one more thing. I don't know if this tradition bothers me or not, but I am going to make the title of every story a song that relates in some way to the chapter.

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave).

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

Song: Once by Caleb Kane

Chapter One

Once

Azula hated them all. Her traitor brother, her weak father, her frightened mother, and that damn redheaded ghost girl. Hazy gold eyes glared at the opposite wall where a transparent girl, about Azula's own age, was sitting in the corner crying.

The former Fire Princess's clothes hung limp on her body. Once she had been great, a pampered princess, so close to being the Fire Lord. Now… now she was her own, weak, her brother's prisoner. The clothes felt ridiculous and the chains constricted all of her movement, she was always cold, because when the avatar had come and seen her chained by the water tribe's girls he had looked at her and shook his head. He couldn't take her fire bending, they weren't sure why.

"Oh, stop crying already, you insufferable twit," snapped Azula glaring at the stupid hazy girl. The thing just wailed harder. Azula sighed in frustration. "You know you're the real reason my mother started thinking I was crazy!"

The crying stopped abruptly and the girl turned and looked her. She just stared at the fallen princess. Azula started to feel her anger return as the girl just continued to blink at her for what seemed like an hour. Right before she blew her top the girl finally seemed to have found her voice.

"Have you looked in a mirror lately? There's no way that anyone would think you were sane. What the hell'd you do to make it so that even months later your hair looked… wrong?" the ghost had a serious death wish. Azula strained against her bindings, growling. The girl blinked stupidly again.

"It's time to go," she said and then sighed. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"Don't bother," said Azula curling back and trying to find some warmth in her frozen body. She swore that her body shook all the time now, just too little for anyone to notice but herself. She glanced up long enough to catch the ghost girl practically floating out the door. She glared, stupid ghost girl that had started this whole insanity rumor. She saw a spirit, it wasn't that weird. Though whatever the girl looked over must be pretty lame considering her personality. Azula smiled. Yeah, something really lame like a single blade a grass, or pansies, or some sort of weed. That was it, she should be watching over her weeds, not annoying Azula.

Yeah, it was her fault -- her fault for making Azula's mother look at her that way. Her mother would have loved her otherwise, seen her for her genius like her father had. Her brother would be dead now and her friends wouldn't have abandoned her. She wouldn't have… no the only way to control people was through fear, she knew that. Mai had been speaking nonsense. The only reason the stupid girl hadn't learned her lesson was because that damn Avatar had come along and set her free, free to have a stupid affair with her moronic brother.

Her mother shouldn't have saved Zuko. Stupid woman had signed her own death warrant, or banishment, since at the time her father had still been a little sentimental. She had made a sacrifice for her son, and what does Zuko do, he turns around and makes it useless by being banished by his father. Yet mama's boy still ends up on top. Every plan she and her father had made, they'd had spies everywhere, earth benders, water benders, all of them, they had all betrayed the fire kingdom.

She and her father were right. The world needed to be reborn. The phoenix would have been a great rebirth to the world. The weak would have been swept away. Hell, only fire benders and a few scattered earth benders would have been left. That would have been for the best. Who needed a bunch of wishy-washy's and airheads anyway?

But no, everyone had turned to the avatar so easily. How quickly their loyalties changed. This is what she would have prevented. She would have made it so that all her subjects were loyal to her. So that even if she was compromised in some way they would still stay by her, do what she had said. Instead they easily turn to the new Fire Lord and the Avatar. They were probably all thinking how perfect it had been. They had been waiting for her and her father to fall so that they could keep their lands. Her people had probably just waited knowing that they would not be worthy of her ruling and she would have seen that.

Those fools, she could see them… they were here, all those people she'd banished all the traitors so close to the throne. They were outside her cell. What were they doing here? No they were here to gloat. To show that they had chosen the suppose 'right' side. They were all there 

looking at her with disgust, triumph, and pity. She hated all of them; they didn't deserve her as the Fire Lord.

"No daughter, it is you who doesn't deserve them," her father's voice was firm as he came out of the throng of people. Azula's eyes widened. "I told you to protect the homeland and instead you lose to a water bender. Tricked, and here I thought you were smart enough to rule."

"Father," she whispered. No, she wasn't a failure. She was his hope, she was his favorite… no she had never been the favorite. She was a girl. Her father hadn't wanted a girl to take the thrown, he would have gladly had Azula be the traitor then he would have banished her and never looked back, he would have never accepted her back the way he had Zuko.

"You're doing it again," Azula's head snapped to look into the ghostly green eyes of – well… the ghost girl. She seemed concerned, but quickly smiled. "The thing where you stare out at nothing with wide eyes. Better not get caught in your own head, silly. Or maybe that's how you fall asleep."

"Why are you back so quickly?" snarled the Fire Bender, watching as the ghost went to her usual area to sit.

"Being in this cell for so long without light has definitely disorientated your grasp on time. It's been three days since I last came here. Sorry, but going to you over such a long distance really takes it out on my spirit," Azula wasn't sure what the girl was talking about, and wondered idly if it really had been three days. Could she believe something she was seeing that no else could? But she had always seen this phantom. Even before her supposed break down. Azula laughed humorously. Now she believed those bastards that came in here at the beginning. Who had told her because of whom she was and the pressures she'd been under and her upbringing had finally driven her over the edge. What did they know about her anyway?

"You're doing it again," said the spirit in a bored voice. "It's polite to stay sane while you have guests. You can go back to being trapped in your own head after I leave."

"Well, I suppose that's good, I'm here for the rest of my life so if time slips away that quickly. That way maybe it'll…" what could she say. There was no silver lining in this situation, not that she could see.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around for the last few days," her voice sounded sad. Azula glared at the girl. What did she think she was doing?

"It's not only that it's tiring for my spirit, but my brother just died the other day. It was so – sudden," the ghost girl sighed, it almost sounded like a sob.

"What do you care? You're a spirit, what, was haunting him the only reason for your existence?" asked Azula with a sneer. The girl glared at her and the princess sighed. "Look, I can't sympathize with you. My brother put me in here, I would do anything to see him dead and me placed as Fire Lord in his stead."

She looked to the spirit and blinked when she saw the other was looking at her with soft eyes. The ghost was looking at Azula, fiery princess Azula, fear of all the nations' one of the greatest fire benders like she was endearing, like she had just said something cute. She was not cute; no one had ever seen her as anything sweet. Her mother had tried to make her sweet by buying her dolls and the like, but those had never worked, she had a tendency to burn said dolls. She was a tyrant, a strong individual, a force to be reckoned with. Nothing about her should make someone soften like that, like she was something sweet and utterly endearing. And now the ghost was giggling, as if her glare was the funniest thing she'd seen, like it added to Azula's overall cuteness. If she could have, Azula would have killed the stupid giggling ghost right there. But she was tied up, and not sure how she could kill a spirit, how would she even go around doing it?

"Azula…" the ghost cut off abruptly and sat cross-legged, as if she was meditating. Azula snapped her head a to the cell door that opened to reveal the Avatar. Seemed he had come to pay her a visit. Had they finally deemed her too much of a hazard to keep alive?

"Hello Azula," the Avatar said, Azula glared at the bald gold boy.

"Your voice is cracking Avatar, finally reached puberty?" asked Azula, her voice cruel and heartless. The Avatar blinked, not sure how to respond.

"Um well, Katara says…" he trailed off and Azula wondered how they had lost to such an idiot.

"Your still spineless aren't you Avatar?" spat Azula. The boy's eyes hardened. He just looked at the fallen princess. He looked as if searching for some answer in them, Azula hoped all they did was give him the hate she felt for him. Maybe his goody-goody heart would die of so much goodness being transferred to him.

"I don't understand," said the boy eventually, his back straight but his voice soft and confused. He almost sounded regretful.

"It's better to ask a question if you want an answer. Unless you can suddenly read minds," said Azula without much care. The Avatar looked at her again, then at the ground and then at the sky. Whose guidance was he seek?

"You seem sane again, well, saner then when you first came in here," that cleared everything up. Good news to everyone, the avatar was a loon. "You're more dangerous now, and yet it's not as clear cut. With your father I knew the right thing was to take away his fire bending, but I can't with you, something about it seems… wrong."

Azula turned from the boy. That was interesting information. So the Avatar felt that she had some purpose, how… interesting. Foolish boy, if he felt that she was a threat with her fire bending he should take it away, or kill her. Actually now that she thought about it, she would rather die than live without her fire bending. She was cold enough as it was. The Avatar sighed in a self sacrificing sort of way.

"Anyway, that's not the real reason I'm here," he said and shock his head.

"Oh, then what prompted you to see someone as lowly as me?" asked Azula with a sneer.

"The guards said they have been hearing some disturbing sounds from your room," the Avatar said finally.

"Well, you did claim I was insane," sneered Azula.

"No, like there was another voice," Azula laughed without humor.

"Who would come visit me? The only person who ever cared about me is also caged in this damn prison," snapped Azula though in reality she was surprised, no had ever even heard a whisper from the spirit before. Damn time for them to start hearing her. She was Azula's only visitor in prison, the only thing keeping that fear of Azula deep in the Avatar. Because while Azula was proud she knew that the spirit was probably right, she did get lost in her own mind, and without her she was sure she would be stuck there permanently.

The Avatar had gone silent again; she was surprised he wasn't demanding to know who was visiting her. Not that Azula would tell him the truth, or maybe she would, not like the moron would believe her.

It was then that she noticed that the Avatar had his gaze on her spirit. He was looking right at her, not through her, she existed to him. The ghost girl didn't move. Her hands resting gently against knees and her eyes were closed. She looked as if she were meditating. Azula tried to calm her racing heart and fixed her gaze back on the Avatar who was still looking in interest at the ghost. The spirit existed on some level.

"Is that it, or are you going to just stand there all day?" demanded Azula. "What did you and your girlfriend dump you and you have to see one tied up and forced to do what you say?"

Anger suddenly flared in those grey eyes. Then it was gone. It seemed she wasn't worth it. Azula sneered at the boy.

"Goodbye Azula," it was final as the Avatar left. But he paused long enough to do what seemed like a small prayer and swiped his glider so that it caught Azula's ghost and made it disappear. The boy looked back but didn't say anything. Azula just stared at him in bland irritation, and then he was gone.

Azula waited, breathing slowly and trying to calm her racing heart, it wasn't possible, she couldn't just die, that wouldn't be fair. But the more time that passed the more fear entered her that her spirit girl would never return to her. The Avatar had taken away her final constant and it drove fear deep into her heart. The ghost girl was gone and she wasn't coming back. No, no, she had, she had disappeared for years at a time but she had never been gone, she couldn't be gone, that wasn't possible.

Azula felt as if she would shake apart. No, she couldn't lose the only person who was always there. Who she couldn't threaten, but who still choose to be around her. The Avatar, this was all his fault! He had ruined her plans and now he had destroyed her last grip to the past where she was someone. The Avatar and brother needed to pay, and they, would, one way or another. She would see to it, they couldn't take everything from her, they couldn't just get away with all the pain they had caused her.

Cool metal dripped down her hands, she stood, her body felt freezing cold, but as she reached forward and touched the bars they melted under her touch giving her space to walk freely from the cell and head toward the iron door. Her feet were gentle against the ground as she continued forward. She walked, blue firing flickering over her body, sparing her clothes from its heat. She would not be disgraced.

The floor sank under her bare feet and the air shimmered with heat. Her gold eyes were unfocused and she walked with a small tilt. Her feet were silent and she could hear two guards coming around the corner. She turned and the guard's eyes widened before their bodies were covered in fire and the only thing left as Azula walked past where they had been was a pile of ash. She made her escape out of the prison, no one knew, though it would only be a matter of time before they figured out she had escaped. The former Fire princess smirked she brought her hands, needing to light a fire, watch it ravage everything. She blinked in surprise as she saw her hands were already a deep fire blue. She couldn't feel the heat; her body was as cold as it was in that damn room.

Azula smiled in triumph. She truly was the greatest fire bender ever. She was power, she would kill everything that the Avatar held dear and then she'd kill him. She wasn't sure where'd she'd start or how she would go about accomplishing her goal, but she was determined, she would make him suffer for eternity. If he caught up to her, well, hopefully he'd have his friends, her brother, and his girlfriend, she'd force him to watch them die and then she would kill him.


	2. Mama

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave).

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

Song: Mama by My Chemical Romance

Chapter Two

Mama

_One Year Later_

Azula wasn't sure where she was or how long it had been since her escape. The time free she had spent being hunted by the people her father after him. She had killed a lot of the bastards that had tried to get her. They had been mostly bounty hunters since those were the only ones who dared to face her. There had been a few close encounters with the Avatar, but she had always slipped away before she had to directly confront him. Because of him turning the table on her, Azula was unable to hunt down the Avatar, it seemed that everywhere she went there was something protecting his loved ones. That or they were dead already, like that damn king Bummy. Her revenge hadn't even started after all this time; she hadn't even gotten friends, let alone followers. People tended to stay clear of her. Anyone that did help would eventually learn who she was, become disgusted with personality, or just give up.

So now she was somewhere where the air nomads used to live. She was hungry, her clothes hung loosely and tattered on her body and her hair was matted. She knew she was a mess, all she could think was about was the betrayal, she had suffered and how she should have just killed the lot of them, her damn friends included. Her mother should have been proof that everyone would turn against her.

The former fire princess pushed through the tangled brambles, some of her hair got caught and she just stopped herself from lashing out at the brambles with her fire. She didn't need to start a forest fire and give away her position. She needed to do… something, get some followers, because that seemed to be what was working against the former princess at the moment. She snarled strained against the twig, her hair was a mess, it wasn't getting better, she screamed in frustration. She refused to cry. The one time she had done that was in front of her brother and that water tribe twit, they had looked at her with pity and before she knew it she was imprisoned.

Azula pulled at her captor biting her tongue but cursing and promising death to the damn thing that dared to do this to her. Finally she found a knife and cut the offending hair away. Now free she shook out her hair with a sigh and attacked the tree, which did nothing but make her knife a little duller. Who could she trust? Well, there's always her ghost, but ever since the Avatar had air bended her away Azula had yet to see aspiration again. It only fueled her rage and hatred for the Avatar. She hated him with everything she was. She couldn't give up.

Where could she go? Someone was following her; she knew someone was following her, which meant that she couldn't cook any meat. She didn't know the area, so she wasn't sure what was edible in this part of the world besides the basics. Maybe she could scrounge; her studies must have taught her enough to know some berries and roots that were edible in this area. No one believed in charity these days, not even enough for a girl who looked like her or who could so little conventional things she could.

She was useless at home making. She didn't know how to cook, how to clean, how to watch over children, how to serve with a gentle smile. All she knew was how to be in charge, fire bending, bending people to her will, and how to rule. But she was so pathetic, and not in the cute way but in the crazy useless way that made people back away from someone. Even those with kind hearts looked past her to their next charity case.

Not that Azula needed bleeding hearts. She needed people who she could rally against the Avatar, though she was strong she wasn't that she could take everyone around him, and she had already ruled out picking them off. That needed coordination and people. She needed an underground that was dedicated to her. But people that would have stood behind her father wanted nothing to do with Azula. It didn't help that her face was plastered everywhere in the Fire and Earth Kingdom. No was willing to risk being seen with her, much less associating. The most dangerous man in the world was after her after all.

Azula forced herself through the forest; the branches broke clumsily under her feet. She was weak, no she was hungry, she was starving. Losing herself she shoved the closest foliage in her mouth, she caught herself and forced herself to spit it out. Real food, something she knows is edible. That's what she needed.

"You've ruined you hair again," came the gentle reprimand.

"Mother," said Azula with hidden venom.

"Hunny, you should return to your brother," said the soft voice.

"And let him capture me again?" demanded Azula. "I think not mother, I'm free and I intend to bring an end to your precious son."

"I love you Azula, you are of my flesh, my darling daughter," said her mother near her ear. Anger coursed through anger and she lashed out. The voice had sounded so comforting like her mother was close to hugging her, but that would never happen. Her blue fired hand cut through the air behind her and Azula took saw nothing.

"Princess Azula, we are concerned," echoed two elderly voices.

"Leave me be you old hags!" demanded Azula making her way over a rotting log.

"You seem to be coming apart," they said in unison.

"Go back to my brother you traitors, I'm only looking for people who will help me!" shouted Azula.

"Please Princess!" Azula pushed the voices away. She didn't need any help. She was perfectly sane. She just needed them to leave her the hell alone.

"Who's there?" demanded the girl suddenly, the two elderly voices completely silent now that she was on the alert. Her gold eyes looked frantically from side to side. Someone was nearby. "I'm warning you!" She shouted getting into fighting position. Still, no one came out. Azula started to feel her world tip and tried to stay focused, but the edge of her eyes kept dulling, until she was falling into darkness with no means to pull herself up.

--

"Saki, are you sure you've gotten everything?" the demand was firm, and Saki sighed in exasperation, her mother was so overprotective.

"Yes mother," she said and shock her head. "Plus, you know the rules; I'm not supposed to bring much with me anyway. This is a spirit quest."

"I know dear, it's just that, after…" Saki sighed at her mother's look of remorse. She went over and kissed her on the cheek.

"I'll be careful mother I promise," she smiled at her mother's wary smile.

"You've just been our worry child. I remember how worried we always were when you slept. You've got to be the deepest sleeper I've ever met you hardly breathe when asleep," she ran a hand through her daughters sun kissed hair. "Oh, baby, I know that you can reach to the stars and back, it's just these times are so uncertain. I want you to know how to be grounded."

"And this way I'll learn," promised Saki. "Oh, mother, please don't cry, I'll be fine. I'm even bringing my 'ridiculous walking stick.'"

"That doesn't make me feel better!" said her mother almost in tears.

"How about I stay and have lunch with you?" asked Saki.

"Perfect, make the tea dear," all of sudden her mother was business. Saki giggled and just watched her mother for a second. Her mother was strong, if not a little flaky. She looked around their house. Crumbling stones walls and a straw ceiling. The floor was plain old dirt. Her house smelled of herbs and vegetables. All the lovely things from the garden. Her mother would have plenty to eat during their brief winter this year.

She stepped into the kitchen, no door, just a little indention to mark the difference, the house only had two other rooms, before they'd been bedrooms, but since – then – it had become an 

extra place for food storage, drying out herbs, holding various knick knacks that women collected, it even had her mother's weaving, since the woman hardly worked on it.

"Hurry up girl," shouted her mother. Saki sighed and, shaking her head, went into the kitchen to make tea. She hoped that this journey would help her find her place or settle her soul. She loved her mother dearly and thought she was a wonderful woman who was strong and proud. She'd raised her brother and her by herself since her father was never around, always traveling around. It seemed she had her father's curse. She didn't feel right just staying at home. Even if it was like her mother did, supporting herself on her own farm and learning to hunt and keep a house and children in line. She didn't think she was better than her mother, just that she had something else she had to do or else constantly feel this itch that existed under her skin.

"You're staying for lunch, right?" her mother's voice was still strong, but it cracked as she talked. Saki smiled gently.

"I promise."

Lunch was a quiet affair. Both ate. Saki's mother kept sighing and sniffling, and Saki was sure she was running low on how much of her mother's emotional overload she could take, especially without becoming depressed herself. But no second thoughts, this was journey. She'd come back home in a year, either to just check in or to start her own little house nearby. It depended on what she found out during her journey. It was customary for her sort of people to go on a spiritual journey. They were supposed to find themselves during this time. To start out with little more than the clothes on their back and a walking stick. Of course Saki's mom had packed her a few meals, extra clothes, and forced her to take it in a pack. She also had a feeling her mother had probably hidden coins in various places. She wanted her only child to make it.

Saki slipped on some soft shoes that she couldn't even remember getting it had been so long ago and started to leave. She waved to the wooly-pigs and pickens, the only animals visible to her from the front of their house. Her feet hardly touched the ground as she left. She only had two extra things, these things that her brother would have taken with him but she was expected to leave behind, a hunting knife a bow with a quiver of arrows.

The thing was she was expected to do, like any good follower of her power, was to become a vegetarian. She refused, her favorite foods were made with meat, and while most said it was still a meal when the meat was gone, she had always felt the meat made the meal no matter how little they had to spare. So she was going hunting while she was on her journey. Screw tradition, the reason she would have vegetarian hardly mattered in this day-an-age seeing how she couldn't chance it with the whole Fire Lord nonsense.

She headed down the long treaded path, no reason to go way out into these woods. They were thick and damp. She lived near the bottom of a mountain where the soil was rich. She planned on heading north, where the trees thinned and there was less beauty but more edible food and the like. More animals to hunt that weren't poisonous to eat. She knew the difference, of course, it just some of the rumors made her toes curl. That and she could taste fish that was from the ocean if she headed in the right direction. That was supposed to taste wonderful. Not that her 

mind only revolved around food, it was just she had always eaten the same stuff, living where she did and being as poor as they were. So she was excited to taste new things, and she wasn't going to deprave her taste buds of anything delicious.

She had been walking a few hours before she heard it. An angry cry split the woods and scattered many reptile birds and winged lemurs. She wondered if she should help the person when another angry scream was carried in the air. Saki was determined to go now. The girl (by the scream) was probably in trouble. She had probably come over in fear of the Fire Nation and had tried to navigate her way through the forest. The only problem was that these woods weren't frequently that often and many times the path almost became indecipherable and a traveler not used to the area could easily go off the path and find themselves in the middle of nowhere.

She made her way through the thick woods, sometimes having to use her knife to get through the thicker parts. She wished she could just take to the sides, but she had been taught by her mother and the village elders never to do so again. That had been a lesson she never forgot. One of the three times she had met the elders of the closest village. She shivered at the memory and gripped her staff closer to her, it was the only thing that made her hope, fashioned by the instructions that she had found almost destroyed in the closest air bending temple. Such a little thing that meant so much to the people in her region.

"Who's there?" the girl looked insane. Her dark brown hair was tangled with leaves and brush and leaves. Her clothes were threadbare and ripped. She had wild thin gold eyes that took in everything as if it were the enemy. She was gaunt, hungry, and very probably insane, though whether it was permanent or just a stress/situation thing Saki couldn't be sure.

"I'm warning you!" Saki watched in morbid fascination as the paranoid girl looked around her surrounding, her whole body taunt to fight. But moved quickly when the other just slumped to the ground in a dead faint.

--

Azula woke up to the hog monkey roasting on a spit. She blinked and tensed in anticipation, she needed to be ready for whoever came.

"You waking up?" Azula almost groaned. Apparently she had become lax over the last year if she woke up so that everyone knew. "That's good; you were starting to worry me. It's morning now. I was hoping that you could eat last night, but, well, you were sleeping so well and had shadows under your eyes so I thought a good sleep would be good."

"Who do…" Azula trailed off and blinked a few times. Perhaps she was seeing things. "You're my ghost, but more solid, colorful."

"What?" green eyes looked down at Azula in confusion. She was a slim creature, with freckled skin and red brown hair. Her nails had dirt in them, and her hair was cut in ringlets at her ears. She was nimble and long fingered. Her clothes were drab, and the only thing of real value was the bracelet around her wrist.

"My ghost, except you're solid," Azula smiled, she was back, in some form. Perhaps she was with her like her mother and the others that followed her around. Still, her ghost girl seemed a little more solid, like she was finally here with her instead of just a waif who liked to visit her when she became tired.

"Well, so you don't keep calling me 'My Ghost' my name is Saki. What's yours?" asked the spirit, now not transparent girl.

"Um, Mai," said Azula, uncertain.

"Right, well, when you're more comfortable you can tell me your real name, or when you remember it, whichever is stopping you," said the girl in slight confusion before smiling and going to check on the meat.

"What makes you think that I am lying?" demanded Azula in her most hotly voice.

"Well, Miss Priss," said the girl coming over with some meat. "You aren't that hard to read."

"I am not…" Azula spluttered and the girl – Saki giggled, Azula glared, but hope sprang into her heart. The girl wasn't affected by her, but still wasn't disgusted with her but found her anger amusing.

"Come now, don't give me that look, I used to do it to, well," she looked confused and then smiled. "Here have some…"

Azula gasped.

"Yes dear, she's solid, unlike us, she can be a comfort to you," Azula looked up to see her mother by the fire. "So I will leave you, I hope you let her in enough to let her heal you."

"No, mother, damn it, you can't leave me, I can't prove… I can't... you can't leave!" Azula was angry, how dare her mother do this. How dare her mother follow her all the way here and then leave her when she finally found away to prove what she had always known!

"Mai, there's no one…" Saki's voice was soft and kind.

"Of course you can't see her," snapped the former princess. "You're solid now. Mother don't you dare, don't you dare do it again!"

"I believe in you my daughter, you can rise above all this, goodbye." Ursa started to disappear.

"No, mother, come back you bitch! Don't you dare go to brother! He's already precious in your eyes! Mother, damn you, damn You!" Azula screamed her body shook. She hated this. Her mother always preferred her brother, now at the first sign that Azula could be supported by 

someone else her mother left. She always hated her, she had hated that she wasn't more like a girl, that she had a backbone.

"Shh, come on Mai, your mother isn't here but I am, and I won't just leave you, I'll drag you everywhere with me I promise," said Saki, almost sounding excited by the prospect.

"How can I trust you?" asked Azula, her voice cutting like ice. "You've left me before."

"No, my spirit, or hallucination left you," said Saki, running her hand over Azula's head. "But I'm here for you now. I'm sorry you thought I left you, though."

"Don't patronize me," said Azula pushing the girl's arm away from her and sitting up, but she suddenly felt dizzy and had sit back because she was dizzy. "Plus it was that moronic boy's fault you disappeared. And why are you taking me in so easily."

"It's my spirit journey. The spirits obviously gave me you as part of me finding myself," said the girl with a smile. "Plus, you're entertaining in a crazy sorta away. And I'm not sure how but I am sure that you'll help me as much as you help me. Now, eat up, we'll be moving out soon, sorry we don't have any ostrich horses, but this is a too mountainous area. Can't wait to taste the food up north, we'll have to get some money, but I'm sure I'll think us up away. Come on Mai, we need to start going only a year to see the world and find my place in it."


	3. Miss Independent

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave).

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson

Chapter Three

Miss Independent

"Come on Miss Priss, we need to keep going!" shouted Saki, her feet hardly hitting the ground as she observed her new surroundings.

"Some of us aren't used to walking through avatar forsaken forest that are so overgrown it's not even close to funny," said Azula in irritation. "And stop calling me that!"

"You were the one that gave me the inspiration. I mean, I need more reason to keep you then simply doing a kind deed to humanity, don't I?" said Saki happily.

"You've got to be kidding me," complained Azula, she could hear the giggle of Ty Lee and Mai's humorless laugh. "Shut up!"

"No one's laughing," shouted Saki.

"Then how did you know I was yelling at someone who was laughing at me?" demanded Azula.

"Transparent," sang Saki, somewhere in a tree. Azula rested by said tree and looked at dirt crusted nails, and then glared at her dirt crusted nails. This Saki was irritating. She couldn't strike fear into this girl's heart, Saki didn't pity her, and she didn't believe in cutting breaks for insane wanderers. Azula had pushed the Saki down a slope; Saki had called her a child and come up unscathed. Saki was amazingly bendable, but she hit a point when she wouldn't back down -- where she wouldn't take Azula's crap.

Azula also had to be careful what she said also. This girl had a family that remembered the time the fire benders attacked, she resented the fire benders. She had been so isolated she didn't know the war was over, that a supposed kind king had become Fire Lord. Azula had to pretend to be skeptical but grateful for the change. Saki had looked at her weird after what she said, but accepted the general gist, but said something drastic would have to happen before she trusted fire benders again.

"I'm exhausted Saki," complained Azula, her new angle was to try and guilt Saki into doing things. It didn't work, but maybe if she complained about something that actually bothered her it would make the girl do what she wanted her to. She'd never walked this much or hard, when she was be herself she usually tried to find alternate forms of transportation, or went at a slow pace with a lot of rests.

"I can tell, usually you either go all out with the hallucinations or none at all," said Saki. "It's only when you're starting to tire that you see and hear things while remaining mostly in the present. You are still with me, right?"

"For the most part," sighed Azula. Saki chuckled without humor.

"Yeah, you're still here," said Saki and Azula felt like fire bending her out of her tree. "Well, we'll stop when you really start going off on me, becoming clingy and shit."

Azula felt like banging her head on something hard. She had never had to walk this far in her life. Her feet hurt and she could hardly feel them. Also she kept seeing people from her past all around her, and that damn Saki kept saying they were not there. Either the other girl couldn't see them like they couldn't see her in the past, or Saki meant that they didn't mean anything and ignore him. Seeing as the girl transferred between Miss Prim and crazy as her name Azula guessed that it was the first option.

"That was fun, I scared away someone last time, didn't I?" Azula didn't really remember what happened the day she had completely exhausted herself following this twit. All she knew was that the longer that she was with the girl, the longer that she had to let her guard down, the longer she had to show her vulnerable side or else something bad would happen.

"We have to keep going, I know that I just saw a monkey turkey, and those don't live anywhere near where I live, they live a good deal north, which means we're a good deal north!" said Saki happily.

"We have a year for you to travel north, and do you only know places by the food you can put in your stomach?" asked Azula with irritation.

"It was the only thing I found interesting about my father's stories of his adventures when he'd come and visit us," said Saki sliding down the tree. "And I only have a year to travel the entire world. There's more then the north to sample food from. The north is just the beginning!"

"You think with your stomach, it's completely undignified," said Azula dryly.

"And you have a very large vocabulary," said Saki.

"So do you, for a mountain peasant," countered Azula.

"I was taught by my mom and the scrolls at the small air temple near our home," said Saki with pride. "You are very superior sounding for a wanderer. What was your home life like?"

"That was random," said Azula, hardly noticing they had set off again.

"Not really, I've been meaning to ask. I mean, you obviously had some sort of problem with your mother, but what about your father?" asked Saki.

"We got along splendidly," said Azula with a smile, remembering all her father had done for her, how much they did together. Saki was looking at her oddly. "What?"

"It's just that I think you're lying, well, not exactly lying…"

"I'm not, my father appreciated me, he could see that I would do great things while my brother would always be second best," Azula started walking faster to single the conversation was over. Saki seemed to accept this because she started talking about the weather when she caught up to the fire bender.

--

"So, any other really stupid places we can go?" asked Azula, still fuming at how that peasant had treated her. Saki sighed.

"I'm sorry Mai, I had gotten so used to you I forgot that people might not be comfortable with how you look," said Saki, twirling her staff around as she thought.

"What's wrong with the way I look?" demanded Azula turning on the girl. Saki raised an eye brow.

"Well, both of us really need to find a place to wash, for starters. And in your case, well, let's see, your clothes are dirty, threadbare and hanging off you. Your hair is a rat's nest. Your eyes either look superior or are twitching. I think a better question is what looks right," said Saki coming up and taking a clump of Azula's hair in her grasp. Azula glared at the stupid girl. She was… well, actually her hair had been driving her nuts, since she knew it was still fairly long but clumped near the base of her neck and various things that kept poking her.

"You make me sound…"

"Crazy, that is because, Miss Prim, that is exactly what you are," Saki was smiling again. "Come on, let me try and salvage some of your hair, I bet if we at least untangle it then at a distant you'd pass as sane. We'll worry about your clothes, thin frame, and sunken eyes later."

Azula glared at the girl and turned away. Saki sighed; she shifted her bag around little, a few pots and pans banging against each other. She seemed as content in ignoring Azula as Azula was trying to get her attention.

"If you want me to pay attention to you, you could always act nicer," said Saki only to have Azula glare at her. "Or you know, try to talk to me and engage me in conversation. 'Cause really, when you're in this kind of mood I really don't want to talk to you, so ignoring me is only going to make me happier."

"Who says I want to talk to you?" snapped Azula. Saki came from behind her wearing a smile and holding a boned comb in her hand.

"Your stance, the way you cling and stay to me even when I don't give you what you want, the way you will just brush your hand against mine just to make sure I'm still here, you may say you find most humans weak and beneath you, but the truth is that you need them around you. I think you know it too, otherwise you wouldn't be here you'd be out trying to find someone who would actually help with your revenge about someone who is either your brother or someone who lives in your own head," said Saki. "And don't give me that look, I'm not going to help you with that and you know it. Even your confused mind can figure that out."

"You'll straighten me out and…"

"Don't freak Mai, if you lose focus on what you set out to do originally it's normally for the best. Especially when there's killing and revenge involved, oh I hear a river," Saki seemed to realize she wasn't helping and now was running toward the direction of the river at least in theory that's where she was going.

Azula realized that this was what she had been talking about. As much as Saki poked and prodded her to keep going and that she had to take care of her, most of the time Saki left it up to Azula whether she wanted to take the girl up on the offer. Azula fumed a little. If that was what the pain in the ass was doing, then why hadn't she done it in a way that was more obvious so that Azula could have had the choice consciously? She'd get the girl back, the fire princess decided, and followed the direction that Saki had gone.

"Took you long enough," complained Saki coming from filling her canteen in the river. She dragged Azula over to the river's edge and sat her down. "Now, some of this might have to be cut off, because really this hair is in atrocious shape, and I'm not sure it's all cut evenly, but I'll do my best. The comb is spaced well and the water should help untangle some of the mess. You'll also be lucky if you don't have dragon lice because then all this hair will really have to go, and I'll have to buy you a shawl in the next village."

"Nice to know you care," muttered Azula sarcastically.

"I know, isn't it?" Azula could feel her frustration growing, Saki was in such a happy bubble she didn't even know what she was talking about anymore, which meant that she wasn't paying attention to Azula.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, but your hair is a real mess, then again, with you going crazy I'm sure you at least thought you had more important things to do then take proper care of your hair," said Saki, still happy, but also focused. Azula bit her tongue and grunted. She'd love to defend herself, tell the girl that she had been pretty sure that her life was more important than her life and that everyone had been her enemy, but that would probably lead to her knowing who Azula was, and Azula couldn't have that. She couldn't have Saki abandon her. Her mother was no longer there to annoy but warn Azula when real danger was coming. Now Saki took care of her and led her 

safely through dense woods through villages that had a fifty-fifty chance of knowing that the Fire Lord was no more and that there was peace again.

"Why do we do have to go so fast anyway?" asked Azula. "I mean, this spirit quest thing is supposed to be finding yourself. What says that you weren't meant to travel the world the rest of your life?" asked Azula, Saki's hands paused on working on her hair and Azula sighed in relief, Saki was not kind on her hair, and it was rather bad to begin with.

"Something died in your hair," said Saki, her voice teasing but disgusted.

"Saki," Azula wanted to hear the girl say this. She had problems just like the princess. She had insecurities, and Azula wanted her to back off, the best way to do this was to show how uncomfortable it was to be asked about subjects that she just wanted to be let go.

"That is not my destiny, I have my home in the mountains, I'm young, when you're young it's normal to be restless," the red head pulled tight on Azula's hair, but the princess wasn't going to back down, not until this girl had learned her lesson.

"The only reason you think that way is because your father left you and your mother alone with only your brother as the man and you still haven't gotten over that even if your mother acts perfectly fine about it," said Azula, she tried to hold back a few instinctive tears that wanted to fight through because of how hard Saki was pulling at her hair.

"What would you know? Or maybe you do, maybe that's why you have problems with your mother," said Saki slyly. Azula scowled, the girl wasn't supposed to turn her idea against her, that wasn't fair if she got to always ask questions but Azula never got to.

"I was happy when my mother – vanished, at least I no longer had to put up with her always looking at me like I was a monster," said Azula coolly, she flicked her head so that the comb was tossed out of Saki's hand. "You probably admire your father and all he's done around the world, but because you've seen what harm it's done to your mother you couldn't show it, so you forced yourself not to listen to his stories and to love him but love your mother more and her lifestyle even though you have the spirit of your restless adventurer of your father."

"Mai, you hardly can tell reality from the fantasies, I don't think you're the right one to be lecturing me on subjects such as this," said Saki, her hands even more gentle then before working on her hair. "Plus, then you'd be saying your father was a delusional, cruel, crazy."

"I'm not ruling out that description of him," said Azula with a small chuckle remembering what the avatar and his friends had described her father before and after she was in prison.

"What do you know," the comb stopped.

"I'm an outsider," said Azula with a shrug.

"Exactly, you don't know the whole situation," said Saki getting back to her work and her words final, but now that Azula was getting to the girl she just wasn't going to let Saki win.

"I meant that I'm a fresh face, that because I'm on the outside I can see some things you can't or you refuse to see," there was a silence where neither girl moved.

"You know, maybe… I'm going, untangle your own hair," said Saki standing and throwing the comb at Azula. The Fire princess smiled knowing she won. Saki didn't look back. There, she could still read people perfectly, and really, Saki should have already have figured this out for herself. Saki could be great, while she was a bit of an airhead, Azula could also see a ruler in her. Not as good as Azula, of course, but probably more of a compassionate one, or someone who ran a small band of people.

Azula bent over the water, she wanted to see exactly how bad the damage to her hair was. She winced when she noticed her hair was still a mess, a few broken strands now free and hanging down like the worst hairstyle. She sighed and remembered the days when servants would brush her hair, even wash. It had been silky smooth and perfect, now it was just a mess.

"Good job Azula, you drove away another one of your friends," the voice was clipped and bored. Mai.

"What are you talking about?" grouched Azula. "And shouldn't you be with my brother about now. You did say that you loved him more then you feared me, right?"

"I meant that you just drove away the one girl willing to hang out with you who wasn't forced or threatened," Azula glared at the girl leaning on her elbows.

"She's not gone, she just went to sulk," said Azula.

"You're losing your grip Azula, you should know people at least well enough that if someone who has no reason to be around you but for charity then pushing them away will only make her disappear, face it, she's gone," Azula glared at her former friend who just sighed and looked up while shielding her eyes from the sun.

"She thinks that I was sent by the spirits to be healed by her, she's not just going to leave me," snapped Azula. "I mean this spirit journey is important to her."

"You know as well as me that she just came up with that on a whim. She can just as easily make one for why she should leave you, some other important lesson that she's supposed to make about herself that doesn't condemn her and probably condemns you," said Mai.

"Can't you put soul into anything?" demanded Azula. "Oh, I forgot, your parents made sure that you were a heartless, soulless creature."

"Now, now Azula, there's nothing you can hold over her, Mai's just trying to be helpful," Ty Lee rolled out of hand stand and turned so she was smiling at Azula.

"Why don't you back to your…" Azula trailed off and chock her head. "She'll be back."

"Keep telling yourself that Azula, I suppose that even someone like should have something to look forward to, I mean it won't be long before your brother finds you and looks you back in that cell," said Mai, and then laughed dryly again. "It's kind of ironic, I mean, you wanted us to be locked away so that you would never see us again. Now it's so that either you're locked up or you have us following you everywhere until you turn yourself in."

"Well, we are the closest thing that she has to friends again, so I guess at least she won't be lonely until Zuko finds her," said Ty Lee, her smile wide. She flipped backwards and stood only on one hand, her brown braid trailing on the ground.

"No, even if you are right, which you're not, Saki would still be a closer friend then you," spat Azula.

"Great, that must be wonderful to know the closest thing to a friend is someone who abandoned you in the middle of nowhere," said Mai while studying her nails.

"Come on Mai, she was our friend," said Ty Lee and then her eyes which dimmed a little and then she bubbled back and took a few hand steps toward her old friend. "Why don't you just give yourself to Zuko, maybe he would be merciful. The only men you've killed were bounty hunters; you even spared that family that tried to hold you. Perhaps they will try to find a way to heal you."

"I don't need healing, I need away to reclaim my honor and my thrown," said Azula with anger.

"I don't think you were going to find it with Saki," said Ty Lee in confusion.

"I didn't plan to; she was only my means to start meeting people. Once I've made a name for myself I will be able be able to get followers and then crush my traitor brother and bring my brother into proper order," said Azula.

"Not even you believe that Azula," said Mai with a sigh.

"What is that supposed to mean?" asked Azula, her face twisting into an angry glare.

"I think it's time to leave Ty Lee," said Mai her sigh now of relief. "I have to meet Zuo, you should be happy to hear this Azula, but I'm breaking up with him."

"You two can't leave!" said Azula, her voice cracking slightly.

"Sorry Azula, but I have to go back to the Kyoushi warriors!"

"No you can't leave me," Azula demanded, though some of the venom was lost when her voice cracked.

"Good bye until next time Azule," said Mai, also leaving her.

"No, come back, don't you dare leave me alone here. Mai, you're wrong, Saki will be back for me!" Azula shouted, her eyes searched for a sign of anyone, but no one was around, the only sound was wild life and rustling leaves.

"Azula, you are my pride, prove it!" her father, Azula looked around.

"Father, father where are you," but nothing, she would just feel his disappointment at her breakdown. "Come back here, face me!"

--

It was getting dark by the time Saki returned. She had gotten a good ways away before she really realized what she was doing to the girl she found. Mai was insane and obviously hurting. If she was going to abandon the other girl she better do it over something more meaningful then the girl pointing out a weakness that she had.

She jumped a little when she heard a muffled choking sound, she must be near. So Mai hadn't moved at all, that meant she had planned on Saki coming back. Saki didn't know whether or not to be relieved or angry that the girl had assumed she'd be back for her. Saki smiled and moved her burden around until it was more comfortable.

The scene she walked in made her drop everything. Mai was curled up in a tight and alternating between muttering and sobbing.

"Miss Prim, Mai, oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry," said Saki allowing the girl to curl in her lap.

"Don't leave me, please, don't leave me," begged the girl while her grip tightened on her shirt.

"Sh, I should have known better, I'm sorry, I know what it's like to have people leave you alone," Saki's eyes became reflective and then attentive while the pale hands of the other girl scrapped a little against her skin.

"Saki?" came the tentive question, wet and cracked.

"Yeah?"

"Are we friends?" asked Mai in desperation.

"Yeah, yeah we are," said Saki with a smile, trying not to giggle at the question. "Does that mean you'll stop talking to those two girls that keep laughing at you?"

"They're not the only ones who laugh," said Mai, but she sounded ready to crash, Saki didn't blame her, it had been a tiring day for the girl. "Sometimes it's him and his obnoxious friends. But their laughs are always more cruel."

"I'll protect you from them," promised Saki.

"Thank you, and don't tell Saki that I ever said this, I can't be weak, she'll take advantage of it," said Mai already a sleep by the last word.

"Of course not," Saki shifted the girl and lay her down comfortably on some grass. Breaking down the girls barriers was hard, and she was crazy. She could hardly imagine trying to do it when she was always in the right of mind. Perhaps that's why she had cracked; because that's the only way she could start to heal.

Saki shook her head and went to get her other burden. It was better if they slept together. She would wake up if anything was about to attack. She fell asleep thinking of her friend crying and looking so lost without anyone around her.


	4. Bitch

Authors Notes: Wow, I feel really weird not doing these, but I have nothing to add to these chapters… besides the fact that finding the song for this chapter was a bitch. So, now author notes are going to be at the beginning, and they are going to consist of pick-up lines, yes you read right, pick-up lines. They are all ones I found in other fanfics, and I hope you enjoy, here is one of my personal favorites:

"How about you sit on my lap and see what pops up."

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave).

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

Bitch by Meredith Brooks

Chapter Four

Bitch

Gato woke up with a killer headache. He didn't remember much, just a very angry flying hippocow, a good deal of being battered around in the air and thanking the avatar that the Fire Nation Lord had been disposed of and he no longer had to worry about exposing their existence as he fell to the ground. He then remembered stunning green eyes of an angel and then darkness.

"What are you, the leader of the charity cases?" came a harsh and demanding voice.

"He fell from the sky with a flying hippocow chasing him, I couldn't just leave him," said a softer female voice.

"You have basically no supplies and you already have me to take care of since you're dead set on thinking that I'm crazy. You very well could have left him to die," snapped the first female. Gato peeked a little at the two voices. Two girls sat near a river. One was holding a comb and working on the scowling girl's hair. Looking at the hair Gato had to agree with the second girl, the first looked insane, half of the hair smoothed out and half in a rats nest that was being picked apart strand by strand.

"We'll escort him home, maybe, if we're lucky we'll get some clothes. That'll make you less grumpy, won't it?" asked the other, she sounded a little like a mother though the girls looked about the same age.

"What are you looking at?" Gato blinked and started a little. The mean looking girl was glaring at him.

"Oh, you're awake, I left you some food a few feet behind you," said the red head with a gentle smile. Gato turned to see some meat with a little rice by a smoldering fire.

Azula watched the boy with eagle eyes. She didn't like Saki picking up new members it was only a matter of time before her poster made it over to this part of the globe. Still, all she could do was hope, the boy hadn't said anything, and there hadn't been recognition when he had looked at her.

"So boy, who are you, and do you live around here?" asked Azula, she wanted to get rid of him, he would interfere and maybe take away Saki's loyalty.

"I don't know, I don't recognize this area," said Gato and sighed. "But I live near a mountain, so if we get higher and to clearer area I could probably head in the right direction."

"Would you say that you're very far from home?" asked the nicer girl, he shook his head. "Would you say you're more than a day?"

"No, I wasn't that long on the flying hippocow," said the boy. "It wasn't a voluntary flight." He said to the crazy haired one who looked like she was going to comment.

"Well, we'll find high ground after I finish untangling her hair that should get you home by tomorrow by our pace if you are a day away," said Saki with a smile. Azula scowled at the girl.

"I knew it, you are setting a ridiculous pace!" exclaimed Azula, Saki giggled but didn't contradict. Gato saw Azula rub her feet a little as she glared. The shoes looked painfully old and worn.

"Well, since we're going to be traveling together we should probably introduce ourselves," the green eyed girl smiled in a friendly way that made Gato shiver a little. "I'm Saki, this girl over here is Mai, or so she says."

"Right," he was a little confused.

"I'm on my spirit journey and picked up her on the way," Azula watched as understanding flooded his features.

"My mom said that hers was intense, the spirits made her almost… well, I suppose it doesn't matter now…" Gato trailed off.

"Boy, if you're going to say something at least try to make sense," said Azula, Gato glared at her.

"I have a name."

"I don't know it…"

"Gato."

"Or care. Saki do you think you could hurry up without ripping out all my hair?" said Azula Gato made an irritated noise which went ignored.

"You're almost done, eat up Gato," Gato nodded but was very uncomfortable. One girl was pushy, dismissive and very likely insane. The other acted like an overly nice mother. These next two days were going to be interesting, and scary.

--

"This is taking forever, why are we going up a mountain? He said it was faster to just go to the side of it, not up and then down like this," Gato had his fingers in his ears, past trying to convince the 'go out and conquer the world mother' to take the easier path, they'd gone so far that it really didn't matter anymore. Of course her psychotic friend wouldn't leave it alone and insisted on annoying Saki. Well, tried to annoy, the only person it was annoying was him. He was under the firm impression that Mai had been raised somewhere that had given everything she wanted. Spoiled brat.

"Have you been up here?" asked Saki, her eyes were wide anticipation; she wanted to see the summit, why, Gato couldn't fathom.

"No, this is supposed to be the first stop on our spirit journey; we're always caught when we're children trying to sneak up to the top to whatever is there," said Gato, remembering the times he and his friends had tried. He had been hoping that they would be caught before they got far, but no, it seemed that they were far enough from the village that their modest priestess did not have the sight to sense them.

"I hope we're not ruining it for you," said Saki suddenly concerned. Azula growled, angry that she was being ignored.

"Oh hush Miss Prim, observe the beauty of nature all around you," said Saki smiling happily.

"If nature flies into my mouth or pokes me again I'll…" Azula usually filled in that part with some fire bending threat; she needed to work on what she would do, she couldn't just threaten idly no one would take her seriously then. She didn't even know if she should reveal to these people how much about combat and war she knew.

"You'll what?" asked Gato with a small scoff. "Give it a good talking to; make it feel like dirt under your feet. Then again, considering your condition it wouldn't be that surprising if they talked back."

"What was that lowly peasant?"

"Peasant? Saki are you sure you can't just knock her out and leave her somewhere and say that you learned something like – some people it's really just better to kill them because they end up being a danger to themselves and everyone else and that nothing can change them?" Gato was perfectly serious. The spirits better not give him someone like this when he went on his spirit 

journey, he would not take the righteous path that Saki had taken. The girl would have been left in the woods and him miles away from her.

"She's my friend," said Saki and turned back to look with soft eyes on Azula as the former fire princess cursed all foliage and stretched her twisted ankle. Gato had to give the girl that. Saki hadn't noticed that her friend's feet were probably killing, maybe bleeding because of the increased amount of walking she had to do in her horrible shoes, oh, and that she had twisted her ankle pretty badly a little while back. "How would you like it if we just left you?"

"I think that by now I can find my way back home," said Gato with a frown.

"Then why don't you leave and go to your village?" asked Azula sharply. Gato didn't have an answer for that. He could have just headed home when he realized they were close and that the ride on the flying hippocow had not been as bad as he had thought.

"Because if we bring him back to the village then his family might be grateful enough to give us some food and a comfortable place to sleep," said Saki, the trees were thinning and her ability to stay with the group was becoming less.

"You try to run away and you'll regret it Ati," said crazy girl looked at him with eyes sharp enough to cut.

"It's Gato," sighed Gato, but he had basically given up.

"Who cares?" exhibit A as to why he would never get along with the girl. "Hey, boy, do you have any siblings?"

"Yeah, and older brother and sister," said Gato with confusion.

"Do you get along with them?" asked Mai, her eyes were focused on the ground but he could tell that she had something painful connected to the question.

"As much as siblings ever do," said Gato, his voice clipped and hesitant. Mai snorted and shock her head and glared up into the sky at something that probably wasn't there.

"Ignore him Mai, he doesn't have anything to do with your life anymore," said Saki confirming his fear.

"You don't get along with..?" Gato glared but shut up when an acorn beamed his head.

--

Azula decided that the summit wasn't much to look at. The top had a small shrine dedicated to the air benders at the very top and a few meters down was a wide open space filled with rocks, tuffs of grass and the bare but brave tree.

"I wonder, if the Fire Lord hadn't wiped out all the air benders if this place would have eventually become a temple," said the Saki in awe.

"I don't know, this place isn't anything special, it's not that high up and it's rather predictable, hardly adequate room for a temple," said Azula. "Plus, it should have a second summit or something for more room to be made. What?"

"I suppose you're an expert on this?" asked Gato, his arms folded; insulted with how this stupid crazy person was undermining something that was sacred to his people. She blew him off, again.

"I've had an education," snapped Azula, Gato would have preferred if she had just ignored him. He didn't notice that Azula was watching him from the edge of her vision. She was happy to see that her assessment of him was right. She could still read people fine, and make them react how she wanted them to. Saki had been right; her outward appearance probably did hinder her in her goal. She should have remembered that, she had always looked impeccable; it had always made people know that she knew how to wield the power she was born into.

"Well, we'll never know, will we?" Saki's voice was falsely cheerful and Azula could feel a shiver wanting to escape. Saki seemed to force herself out of her thoughts; her feet hardly touched the ground as she jumped down from where she was. She looked up sharply, gulped, and then smiled.

"Be more careful, just because the Fire Lord is supposed to be good now and there's peace doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful. Though it is nice to meet someone similar," Gato smiled and Saki shared his joy. Azula got pissed off, how the hell had they kept this secret so long when they were being so damn obvious?

"Whatever you two are talking about, either clue me in or shut up," Saki blinked over to Azula, she smiled but it quickly disappeared and was replaced with something that a scared Azula a little.

"Do you want to see a trick?" she asked clasping her hands and practically floating over to Azula.

"No, Gato has a point you shouldn't be broadcasting it so soon, and before you come out completely you should contact the avatar," said Azula, Gato nodded in agreement, until he stopped and glared at Azula in a way that said he knew she knew his name. Not that Azula was going to call him by his name now that he knew, that would cut into the little bit of fun she could still get from driving people up a wall and them really not being able to do anything about it.

"You two are absolutely no fun," the girl complained.

"Can we..?"

"No, I think we should stay here for the night," said Saki, both of her traveling partners tried to argue but she held a hand up. "I think it would be for the best. I always had a second sense for these kinds of things."

Azula shrugged and braced herself for the night. Really, who was she to argue with Saki on this? Saki had been able to travel out of her body and contact her since they were both children. Gato had a few words of complaint but Azula didn't really want to walk around anymore anyway. Her feet were killing her and her ankle almost canceled out that pain. All she wanted to do was sleep. Maybe if she got in a few good hours of sleep it would hurt less, at least she wouldn't feel it when she was a sleep.

Azula woke up to the sound of screams. She blinked, trying to clear the sleep from her mind. She didn't know the last time she had felt so tired waking up, when her body sagged with exhaustion, or waking up while being so disorientated.

"Come on Miss Prim, you need to get up, there's a fire we need to help the people from Gato's village," Saki's voiced was scared and concerned, it forced Azula awake faster, the cold water over her head had her awake in a second holding Gato's throat in her hand.

"Let go Mai, come on, we have to help," Azula let herself be pulled toward where smoke was catching the full moon. Morons running toward a fire when they were air benders and peasants. The only reason that Azula was letting them drag her toward the fire was because she could fire bend, and in the mayhem that was happening if she had to there was very little chance of someone actually finding her out.

Azula noticed the dry grass under her feet and also how little water had been in that river. So there had been a draught, the littlest of fire could have started this. She could see the flames were everywhere, a small amount of water hit her nose and she noticed that rain clouds were gather. She supposed the moon spirit was looking down on this and feeling bad for the small tribe. Then again these fires could be as devastating as they could be cleansing. It depended on if people concentrated on the instant destruction or what rose out of the ashes.

"We have to get to the lake," shouted Saki. "Get the first group you can find and bring them there, but don't get to close to the fire or the smoke!"

"Don't get close to the smoke at all that can be a worse killer then the fire if you underestimate it!" shouted Azula, she knew fire and didn't need anyone lecturing her on it. The lake was on the other side of the mountain, a little hard to get to but it had a path down the steep cliff, it would take all night to get to.

"Right, good luck," they were separated in the woods. It wasn't long until Azula heard the whimpers and frantic cries of a large group of people. They were heading slightly to the right, maybe right into the fire if it came around and in.

"This way!" she shouted as she saw them. A few women, a husband who was frantically trying to lead his family. They looked uncertain with her request. "I know the way, we need to head to the summit before heading down. Going around only allows the fire time to creep on you!"

"Come on, follow the girl," the voice was old. Azula looked at the grandmother and bowed in thanks for her words of help. The twelve of them started to follow her. They were slowed by the old woman, the pregnant woman and the crying baby, and Azula started to feel her pulse race, the fire calling cold in her blood to the heat that was rapidly catching up to them. She wasn't sure they'd make it to safety before the fire caught up to them.

"Come on, we have to go faster!" she shouted.

"If the spirits want us to live we will make it, just like they sent you to lead us," said the old woman. Azula tried to hold back a snarl. It sounded like she would be blamed if anything went wrong. This is why she hated old people, they made little sense, talked about how their lives weren't really theirs, and would never let the blame fall on their shoulders.

There, the fire had almost surrounded them. Azula glanced back and almost broke her jog, she reached deep into her powers and with the smallest movement of her arms she imagined the area a few yards in head opening for them. The fire backed off and she heard a sob of relief from one of the woman and hoped no one would question their luck. She suddenly grew angry. She wanted some of that warmth. She wanted to stop feeling constantly cold, like a chill gripped her heart in its frozen grasp.

They came to the end of the tree line and crept jogging and slipping over stones. Azula allowed the peasants to help themselves; she was too preoccupied in keeping her anger from showing all over her body. As they came over the rise they saw quite a few people just staring in awe at something behind them.

Azula turned around and so did the rest of her group. The fire had stopped, not with the trees, but a few meters before the tree line ended. It was amazing the edge of the fire and everything she could see of the mountain had been contained. The most amazing, and perhaps most frightening fact of this little show was that the fire that lined with blue.

"The moon spirit," gasped one of the peasants, his child lightly held in his arms. "She has shown us mercy."

Stupid peasant, didn't he know that blue fire meant the fire was beyond burning? Didn't he realize that no spirit would interfere so readily and obviously in anyone's lives? They hadn't even helped the avatar except to guide him. No that's what they were guides, sometimes they would interfere, but never with their own powers, they would use a vessel. Azula was fairly confident that the moon spirit would not use her as a means to save these people. She was a fire bender, an evil fire bender, and these weren't even water benders, they were people descendant of air benders, so no, the moon was not what was saving them.

That's when she was forced to realize the most shocking fact, if it wasn't some all powerful spirit then it was her. It was her fire that was stopping the destruction of this forest. The place that Saki had looked at and called beautiful, how much Saki had wanted to it. How she had a look in her that she remembered. How she was more likely she was to talk about her father and yet do all in her power to avoid the subject. How she had wanted to see Gato safely home so she could taste the food here.

"Girl, girl you're shaking what's wrong?" it was that old woman she had led here. Azula realized that her whole body was shaking and her teeth chattering without her say so. She couldn't control it, she was freezing. The cold seemed to come from the core of her and out, effecting her all the way through.

"Cold," she was able to get through. "Freezing."

"Young lady! It's okay, it's probably just shock, just breathe," said a voice by her ear.

"Azula, how dare you protect these people," her father's voice echoed in her head, reprimanding her again. "Your grandfather used his power to eradicate them and they dare rise again and defy us! Let the flames consume them, let them consume you. You are such a disappointment, like your brother."

"No, no I'm not like him father. I can't, I just can't let… please I'm not a disgrace!" Azula wasn't sure whether to cry or scream. She started fighting against invisible bounds that tied her hands, body, and soul. Something was placed on her forcing her into a small prison that made the cold sink into her bones and cause her an aching pain. She let loose a dry sob and felt her mind slip into the black abyss.


	5. Happy Ending

Author's Notes: The word of the day is 'legs.' Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave).

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

Song: Happy Ending by MIKA

Chapter Five

Happy Ending

Zuko woke up knowing his day was going to be busy, which included doing a hell of a lot of formal things to raise moral among his people. He would meet a few people who would blame him for everything that his father did and insist on his help. And with old men who thought that he should rule with the same iron fist as his father had. Zuko found that juggling all these complaints from his people and the various regions around the world was exhausting. He often found that many things he wrote or ordered done he had to go over a second time because his advisors would skip out or make matters worse when they made small changes, something would happen and he would end up trying to fix it without actually going to the area because he needed to be with his people to give them a good example. He spent so much time with scholars correcting history and trying to convey the state that the fire kingdom was in without them appearing to be completely evil sounding. Of course that was a little hard, so he just stuck to trying to only include crude facts and taking the edge off in some other areas of the action that the fire kingdom had taken during their reign of terror.

Zuki sighed, He had a few more places to go to, in the fire nation there were a few places that still taught by the books his father had supplied. He also had places to go outside the fire nation to help show that the Fire Nation was willing to extend their help to all those they helped and that they would keep a peaceful relationship with them from now on. There were a few people who still idolized his father that he had to learn to deal with.

He almost would rather for the old days, when he had lived free on the road. Chasing the avatar would be more rewarding than this. His life as Firelord was almost pathetic; he would rather be evil and chasing the avatar then helping to fix his country. It was probably the fact that people kept acting like he approved of what his father had done; they acted like he was his father and seemed to think that because he had left his father alive that in some way Zuko loved his father. Zuko knew better, while he could feel pity for both his father and sister, but he did not love them, just because they were his family, blood, did not mean he had to love them.

"Fire Lord Zuko!" Zuko cringed at the question yet demand in the servant's voice. He allowed the servants to dress him. During the beginning of his reign he had insisted on dressing himself, it helped him relax to know that he could still do something's by himself, but now – now he just felt too tired to do much of anything.

"Tell the councilor I'll be with him soon," said Zuko as the last servant turned toward him. The man bowed his way out and Zuko was left to wander out the door. He just wanted a second of freedom, if it meant being late for some stuffy old man then all the better. The man he was meeting was 'conservative' and deserved a quick death by fire, for his action when his father was in power. But the councilor had gotten away with the rest by saying that he couldn't go against his father, he was a victim, all that crap. Zuko wished that the man would drop dead and he could definitely help that dream become a reality. But politics stayed his hand, getting rid of people just because they deserved it when king, it often enough would diminish his already low support system within the palace.

"Zuko, what are you doing here?" the Fire Lord just lifted an eyebrow at the Water Tribe peasant. Sokka didn't spend much time at his birth place, he usually was somewhere with the avatar, or Toph, even Zuko from time to time. Sokka had recently been in the fire kingdom with his sword master helping around.

None of the water tribesmen friends were comfortable with the dark boy going anywhere on his own. It was not even a year since Suki had been killed. Her death had been traumatizing and surprising. The Kyoushi warriors had been chasing Azula at the time it happened. They had run into the group that they thought had been harboring the past fire princess and had been greatly outmatched. The avatar hadn't gotten the message that she needed help until a week after the message had been sent. The ironic thing was that all the rest of the Kyoushi warriors were fine, a few scrapes but their leader, Suki had hardly been recognizable after what had been done to her.

"I live here, are you leaving already? Shouldn't you wait until Aang comes?" even if Zuko's life seemed to be going steadily downhill he stilled cared about his friends, even if they were illogical most of the time.

"Nah, a dragon hawk came telling me that he was held up in Bejing so I'll be heading out alone," he through some stuff onto Appa. "Don't worry I'll be keeping in contact with Aang and my sister. I'll send you a note if you want?"

"That would be…" Zuko trailed off, he had so many papers already. Still, he didn't want to be rude, it was just that the messages would probably be lost in the rest of the papers on his desk to be looked over.

"Hey man, don't worry about it, you're the Fire Lord now, you're busy," said Sokka he smiled at Zuko.

"My friends should be important enough to keep in contact with," said Zuko his voice soft. He looked at the rising sun, sighing as he felt its power soak into him. He hadn't been in the sun enough; he had almost forgotten how refreshing its beams had been sinking into his skin and adding to his inner fire. "The avatar can run the world and still do it."

"Yeah, but he doesn't have to do with so many openly hostile people, and even the hostile people are less hostile around him then when they're with you," said Sokka and shrugged.

"Thanks, that really helps," said Zuko with a glare.

"Hey, I'm just saying, running the Fire nation after all its done and trying to keep everyone from taking advantage while your nation is confused and trying to start must be hard," Sokka pulled himself onto the top of Appas head. "Hey, you don't look so good. I heard about Mai, and I know this is an awkward question but is she really getting married this fast?"

"What do you mean fast?"

"But it only sounded like you two had been broken up for…" Sokka was cut off.

"Yeah well, it seemed she had been with someone from Ember Island for a few months now, she said something about knowing she'd choose him for quite a while and that… it doesn't matter, all there was to it was that while she loved me, I hadn't been around her enough and that she had just grown bored," Zuko shrugged and touched his scar slightly with his hand. "She also said she knew I'd become enough of a bleeding heart that I wouldn't do anything to her."

"Can't be too good for her," said Sokka, he seemed a little shocked. Zuko shrugged. "I mean her reputation."

"I don't think she cares, apparently the boy has enough money from his father to keep them and her parents comfortable even if I decide to take away her families positions," Zuko sighed and stayed rather annoyed.

"Her parents seemed more interested in the status then the money," said Sokka having met Mai's parents, oddly enough.

"I don't think she cares, I think she really loves this guy, the way she looks at me, it's like I'm someone who disappointed her," he shivered and reached for the warmth that was deep inside. Sokka looked at him with pity. He played with the black wristband that showed he was mourning. Zuko had always found that odd, the fire nation mourned in white, it made more sense. Zuko also noticed that Sokka looked like he wanted to leave more than he had before. Not that he could really blame the boy. Sokka didn't need any more complications in his life.

"Look, Zuko, Aang's having me look in the old air temple areas, see if there's anything you should know over there," said Sokka, Zuka sighed. The avatar was looking to give him more work, pain in the ass.

"Don't look like that, Zuko, you don't want to let things like this fester."

"No, but it'd be nice to be cut a little slack," said Zuko.

"Don't worry, Aang will probably do most of the work, if you're really lucky then they'll be air benders and you'll never even get started before Aang will take over," said Sokka, Zuka smiled, thankful that Sokka seemed to once again have found his jokes again. He still didn't have his humor back; it seemed Suki's death had affected him more than the moon spirit's had. Perhaps because he had had a very close connection to the warrior, that he had loved her totally. Sokka had learned from one of the soldiers that had examined what was left of her body that she had also been pregnant. He had lost two lives, one he had to find out after her death. There had been a good chance that she hadn't known before this that she was pregnant, that's how small the fetus had been.

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better," said Zuko rolling his eyes.

"Come on man, why don't you let someone else help you, you look like you're taking too much onto your shoulders. I mean, no offense but you didn't even really have any real training or experience in running a whole…"

"I know!" snapped Zuko, his fire gathering around his fist in a second. He took a deep breath, it would be no good taking his anger out on Sokka; he didn't need to alienate his friends just so he could have someone he could actually take his anger out. For a second he truly wished that someone would be able to assassinate him. Zuko blinked and rubbed his head, no he had to lead his people into peace. Forget the pain he was suffering, there were thousands of people worse off than him, what right did he have to be depressed?

"I can't trust anyone yet, I'm still having trouble weeding away all the generals and politicians who actually agreed with what my father was doing without creating an uproar. That and every time I'm able to I don't have time to properly replace them and get someone who's brainwashed. I have one kid right now who I can trust, but he's young and I'm driving him to insanity with what I load on him and all the lessons he has to quickly learn and then unlearn when I tell him how I actually want it done."

"I'm sure it will get easier," Sokka tried to console. He looked reflective for a second and Zuko waited impatiently for the joke. "I hear that you have a lead on Azula."

Zuko sighed in disappointment.

"It was another dead end," he shrugged. "Well, good luck, try to come back with as few complaints and demands to the Fire Kingdom as you can. I'm going to go sit and talk to the councilor, that way I can hopefully get out of something that will damn him enough to be one more nuisance less."

"The sacrifice of peace," said Sokka with a shrug. "Yip, yip."

"Yeah," said Zuko watching the water tribe peasant fly up and away. He sighed and chuckled, thinking about how much Mai he was acting. He fought a deep ache that formed in his chest when he thought of her. He had loved her, he had been so happy with her, kissing her, but it seemed that she had lost her love for him. He felt betrayed, it was made worse by what she had done even while he had been using her as a rock that he could still find solace in, to find out that she had been going to someone else behind his back ripped at his heart.

Well, he had duties, better not to think of such a things while facing a man like this.

--

Azula calmly directed the annoying noise maker back into the circle. She instructed the kids that under no circumstances could they leave, but some little monster had no regard for rules. This had been the job that the people had assigned her after finding out that not only was she insane but also had bleeding sores on her feet and a twisted ankle. They made her watch the little devils. Azula decided that the men must have had the final say in what she'd be assigned to do because any sane woman could have told them that to watch kids it was recommended the watcher be sane and able to catch them when they ran away.

So Azula had set out that day, a week after the fire, to discourage them from allowing the children anywhere near her; it hadn't worked out as planned. She had ended up with quite a few crying children who all listened to her while being scared to death. The parents had thought she was a God send, Saki had yelled at her for throwing sharp objects at the little demons. So she had been given all the twerps again, they're eyes were bright and they respected her, but they also wouldn't take too much crap because they knew that Saki had Azula around her little finger.

The reason she had been given this job had mostly been because while Gato had been too distracted to remember he had figured out she had hurt her ankle and that her feet were probably at least ridden with sores because of the new amount of traveling she had to do and the crappy pair of shoes she'd been wearing, they'd found out that she couldn't do construction to save her life, that she readily burned food even when she tried, and that any grownup that tried to work with her soon found themselves on the edge with some sort of anxiety or anger, or a combination. Saki had promised they'd work on her people skills. Azula had pointed out that she knew people very well; Saki had agreed that Azula was pretty good at reading people, it was her skills with dealing with such people in an appropriate way that they needed way that they needed to work on.

"Hey, Miss Mai, you're not seeing anyone again are you?" the girl was in very clean peasant clothes and Azula blinked in surprise at the girls sudden appearance and glanced at the other little ones, no they seemed to be doing what she told them; which was weird because she told them to sit still and at least pretend to meditate. Of course most of them were probably too scared because of the story she had told them and then what she had whispered in the first disobedient child that made him a babbling mess and immediately try too hard to get into the meditative state.

"Mum!" Azula jumped and looked down on another kid that had deemed her exercise not good enough to do. It was odd though; this little one almost looked like her when she was a kid, right down to her gold eyes.

"What is it that you deem more important than your life little air spawn?" asked Azula, her voice its usual cruel edge made crisp and whip like to lash at the poor little thing. The little girl only smiled -- a fake sweet smile and swayed back and forth on the spot.

"I wanted to show the dolly my mommy got me," said the little thing still acting sweet.

"Oh?" Azula asked putting her cheek to one hand in boredom. Her eyes grew wide as the little girl pulled out a wooden earth citizen doll. It looked like the one her uncle had given her. The girl giggled and the thing went up in flames.

"Mai, teacher," Miky was pulling on her skirt, she looked sharply at him. "You were staring at nothing." The little thing explained. "I thought it'd be best to wake you up."

Azula nodded, and Miky smiled before following the direction Azula's finer was pointing in and going back to the circle to sit straight as a rod and try to do something he didn't even have the first clue how to begin doing.

"Mai!" Azula turned to see Saki running toward her. Azula brightened; maybe she'd get off from watching the brats early today!

"Saki, what are you doing here?" asked Azula already stealing herself to leave. Saki opened her mouth to talk but one the woman who had come with Saki was squealing.

"Oh, you did it again Mai! This is so amazing I can never get my little Fio to take a nap for me! I wished you'd share your secrets with me!" the woman gushed. Azula cringed a little but did nothing more then give her hands a weak tug to try and get them free since Saki was so near.

"I'm sure you don't want to know Rai," said Saki with a sigh. "Are you sure you can handle the children by yourself?"

"I'm sure, they're all a sleep and the mothers will be looking for them soon," said the woman and made shooing motions toward the pair. Azula smiled cruelly as she was pulled away. She remembered that woman, one of the people who had criticized her work without really helping and had suggested 'putting her out of her misery.' Azula hoped the brats would wake up soon, as soon as they found out she was useless in most practical things and insane (according to Saki and her outburst during the forest fire).

"So, what are you pulling me away for?" asked Azula looking back at her friend.

"Oh don't be so happy about causing another person pain," scolded Saki and then smirked. As soon as those children figured out that someone besides Azula was watching them they were going to go into hyper and destroy mode, Azula just wished she could watch it.

"Well, it must be pretty big to drag you from you're air bending scrolls," prompted Azula. Now that the elders here had agreed to it, air bending had again started to be encouraged. Saki and the elder that could so air bending were learning everything as fast as they could so they could start to teach a new generation and type of air benders.

"It is," said Saki with a touch of happiness and apprehension. "The lead air bender, the one that will start to invite air benders to come learn, and my father have arrived and are in the temple we constructed."

That was news. Saki had been looking forward to seeing her father for a while now. She must have gotten Azula for emotional support. Or something she could show off to her dad. They entered the crudely raised new air temple and into a heated discussion between a balding and bald men.

"Yes, but what spirit would not only stop a fire but restore the trees that had been destroyed but leave the village in shambles and also not return even the bodies of the people who had been killed in the fire," said the bald one.

"Perhaps the spirit was trying to direct them here trying to tell us that it was now that the people it was time to start teaching the air benders and that the world had been depraved of them for too long," Saki stopped Azula from walking toward them, she glanced at the girl and noticed that Saki was very interested in the conversation. It was a topic of confusion. The day after the fire they had found the forest completely intact like the trees had never been set aflame. The village was gone, but the people felt that the spirit that had stopped the fire had also restored the forest since it was only trying to make a point that they should go up to the top of the mountain and build a temple where air benders could once again start learning their bending once again instead of hiding it.

"Father, Mr. Heis, this is… Mai come back to me girl," Azula blinked at her friend who made a quick motion over to the two men, Azula raised an eyebrow.

"What about them?" she demanded. "Oh, it's very nice to meet you Mr. Heis, Mr. Tuk," she placed her palms flat against her thighs as she bowed, this bow originated somewhere in the earth kingdom if Azula's memory served her right.

"It's nice to meet you," Saki's father looking at her with distrust. Azula looked at Saki, she had already greeted them, and they weren't important to Saki so until they had outlived their usefulness then she should try to be cordial with them. Threatening didn't work on these air bending didn't work like it was supposed to and often just got her into trouble.

Saki shrugged a smile on her face.

"So you're the bastard who left Saki and her family on their own without properly explaining the situation or considering what would happen to them?" said Azula with a wide smile. Mr. Tuk looked suitably put out and surprised.

"This is why I hate introducing you to people," said Saki wrapping an arm around Azula.

"Young lady," said Mr. Heis striding over to her with purpose. "Saki said that you are literate and had lessons somewhere in the earth kingdom and that you had an opinion on these air bending scrolls."

"Um," Azula glanced at her friend who made a move that directed her back to talk to the man. "Yeah, which ones are those? Hey, she thought I was cracked for what I suggested what these meant!"

"Yes well, she remembered one of the things you said and I'm…" he trailed off, Azula glanced at him sideways and noticed his eyes were concentrated on her hands… creepy.

"You have fighter hands," the man said and then grabbed her wrist bringing it to his face. "Look at these calluses, you must be very skilled!"

"Sharp of objects near Mai," said Saki with a smile. "Sounds dangerous,"

"It was, as a matter of fact," said Azula, hoping that in some clique her teeth looked sharp and glinting in the fading sun.

"How good were you, no that doesn't matter, who was your teacher, no, he's probably dead," Azula calmly placed her hand over the old man's mouth. He looked shocked for a second and Azula removed her hand in time to see him puff out his chest. "Not very polite are you young warrior."

"Don't call me that," snapped Azula, she was not some novice.

"You must let me test her," the man said excitedly. "Oh, don't look at me like that, the stereotype for air benders and their ancestors seems to run true, they're air heads and no good with a sword, the few that will actually pick one up that is. Oh, to teach a true apprentice."

"You want the person my daughter referred to as the 'crazy girl' to be your successor?" Azula glared at Saki, Saki just shrugged as explanation.

"At this point in time I don't have time to be picky. Stop glaring girl you don't have a say in this," he grabbed Azula who wanted to strike out, but Saki's soft cough stopped her and she started dreading what was to come. At least now she would have dome sort of sharp object to help bleed away some of her anger.

--

Author's shout out! Hey all I'm looking for 25 kind people who will tell me how many pets they have. It's for a class, and I think this would be an interesting way to collect my data. So, I will have this poll going until Tuesday and then I will find another means to get my data. You don't even have to leave a real review if you don't want to, just write down a number and head along. Thank you all who participate! Cookies and cake for all who do!


	6. Monster

Authors Notes: Hey baby, you got something on your butt: my eyes!

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave).

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

Monster by Meg and Dia

Chapter Six

Monster

Azula allowed her hair to come and hide her face. She picked up a rock, tossed it in her hand, and then threw it across the lake; for someone who claimed not to have met anyone worth fighting in over twenty years Master Tuk was very agile. She had spent the last week between irritating children and learning to shot a bow and arrow. Azula had glared the weapon at first; she had been taught to fight with a sword and daggers, thank you very much, she didn't even use those very often, her fire was intense enough to take on anyone who dared cross her path.

"Thought I might find you here," Saki's voice was light and teasing. Azula turned to her friend and glared. She flipped a rock and then tried to skip it across the lake. She failed, much to her surprise.

"It's all in the wrist, or so I've heard," said Saki taking her own rock and making it skip.

"You've been practicing," Azula accused.

"I've had the time to," Azula glared at the air bender who lifted her hands in false surrender. "Hey, come back to the village, everyone promised that you'd have the day off, okay? Tuk won't even bother you about doing your usual jobs, actually I think their worried about you breaking down."

"I wonder why," said Azula darkly. Sure she seemed to have a job watching the kids and ate in the mess with everyone else, and she even had the training master teaching her even beyond teaching the boys of the village to do more than hunt, but she was still an outsider. She could see it in their eyes; they knew something was wrong with her, something besides her insanity. Of course the fact that her sanity was unstable was more of worry for Azula, she had always valued her control.

Last night she had woken up to find herself deep in the forest, scorch marks followed her from the direction of the village. A whole lot of dead animals had been killed around her and fear had made her run back to the temple. She didn't remember how or when she had done that, the whole time was a blank. The next day she had listened to hear if anyone was dead or had gone missing. Nothing, but Azula couldn't help but wonder what had happened during that blackout. She worried about the next tme it would happen. What if she killed people instead of animals? These people would never be allowed to stay then; her face would become one to fear even in this backwater place. What would Saki think?

"Mai," Saki's voice was concerned and direct. "Where did you disappear last night? You weren't in your room when I checked on you. Mai."

"You're not my keeper," said Azula coolly and standing while brushing off her peasant clothing. "You don't need to know what I'm doing every moment of every day, and I'm not hunting you down every time I want to go somewhere to tell you."

"I just worry, the villagers do to," Azula glared in the direction of the village.

"They worry for different reasons," then Azula smiled, at least she could still inspire a type of fear. "Not that I blame them, I am rather unstable."

"You're impossible," said Saki coming from behind and laughing as she literally hung herself off her friends shoulder. "Come on, let's go to the temple, you can push me off the roof since that seems the only way I'll actually try out the damn thing out. That should help calm your homicidal tendencies for the day, shouldn't it?"

"I don't know," grossed Azula touching a hand to her shin and her cat like eyes flying to the side in mischievous contemplation. "Am I allowed to do the same thing with your father? We can see if you really did get air bending from your father. If not then, no big loss."

"No you may not, you know as well as me that he isn't an air bender," Azula pouted and Saki laughed, she had given up trying to get the two to get along. Azula hated the man for what he did to confuse Saki and Saki's father didn't trust Mai through some sort of sixth sense that Saki swore was broken. For the most part the two ignored each other, when forced to converse Saki's father would make sly comments about Azula's mental health, and Azula would make subtle threats that promised death to extreme mental trauma.

"Well, hurry up!" shouted Saki bouncing up and skipping the steps to the next platform. "You only have today for freedom and then it's back to zealous teachers and irritating brats!"

"You've been reading scrolls again," said Azula. "And no fair using air bending or can't you face me without resorting to tricks?"

"Hey, the spirits blessed me with air bending, and as such using it in any competition is completely and utterly fair. You can't tell someone smart not to… hey, wait, you were just distracting me!" Azula chuckled already far in head of her friend. Her training had made her strong; she might not be used to do everything that had to do with physical strength but she was strong, hell, she had once stopped herself from falling to her death by the thing that had been in her hair.

"Come on fancy feet, just try and beat me!" said Azula.

"You're on!"

The two friends came together at the temple, and almost ran into Gato. The chubby teen glared at them. They were friends of a sort. Mostly Azula found it fun to constantly pick on the boy; he was the only one who wouldn't ignore her, laugh it off, or completely overreact. So he was a good tool to sharpen her mind games on again. She had gotten sloppy if none of these backwater villagers under her thumb. In fact, they were more likely to try and bully her.

"Don't you two start, Mai no comments on how you don't understand how someone his weight could possibly get his feet off the ground," Azula watched, delighted as Gato started to turn a lovely shade of red.

"What's wrong with my weight?" the sensitive teen, his voiced cracked making the whole situation perfect. Saki's face took on this frozen shocked wide eyed guilt and she turned to the other boy.

"Nothing, I just… Mai, you –"

"I take no responsibility for what you just said, that was completely you," said Azula happily. "Catch you later pudgy, we're going to push Saki off the roof."

"Couldn't we wait, you know say hi to…?" Saki's voice had pitched a little. She loved learning everything that had to do with air bending, but she seemed to fear it. It was odd, Saki would go on and on about theory, but when it came down to testing she was scared stiff. It wasn't even the air bending that scared her, which confused the hell out of Azula. Surprisingly enough, though, everyone else who was an air bender seemed to understand, and also suffer a bit though most were faster in shedding their fears. Still, none of them had been asked to test out the gliders that the air benders had used so many years ago. There were many made now, all that needed to happen before they could let the others on it was a test pilot. Since Saki was the first one to make one she had been chosen.

"No, we're going to conquer your fear today, no more putting it off," said Azula and grabbed her friend in a death grip on her arm and started up the wall stairs to the roof, trying from the ground had only given a reason for Saki to smile and shrug, throwing her off the roof was the only way to truly test her.

"Why does it have to be today?" asked Gato, apparently deciding that his presence was needed when this happened.

"Because she's put it off long enough and it's my day off," said Azula, ignoring the way that Saki seemed to be trying to flee from her grasp.

"Monster, what are you doing to my daughter?" just Azula's luck, the neglectful joke of a father had to be up here with her psychotic master. He glared at the former fire princess as if daring her to lie. Azula would have, except that it would give Saki time to run, and that would be unacceptable. Air benders coming back into the world was important to the girl and Azula would be damned if the girl ruined it for herself.

"Throwing her off the roof," just a step over, perfect, no place she grab on, and a good life threatening drop, and Saki had the glider (she never went anywhere without it) in her hands looking a little freaked out.

"What?" the man demanded even her master looked a little thrown. The reason might be because Gato was the only one aware of how the girls had decided to defeat Saki's fear of gliding.

"Too late," and Azula practically threw Saki over the edge. The air bender fell a few feet; her screams piercing the air, Azula hoped she'd gather her senses enough to at least try to use the glider.

"What the hell have you done?" screamed Heis grabbing her collar and lifting him off her feet.

"Teaching her how to fly," said Azula with all the majesty she could.

"I'll teach you how to fly," said the man shaking Azula and maneuvering her over the edge. Azula stared at him with her hand on his but did not push him away. She was daring him to drop her.

"Heis put her down! She doesn't have complete control over what she does!" said Master Tuk with a touch of urgency and old power in his voice.

"The hell she doesn't," growled the man. His grip suddenly loosened and his mouth slackened. Azula flipped herself over the man easily. Tuk made an odd noise that told her he was disappointed that she had been holding back. Azula looked to see Saki gliding with ease in the air. The former Fire Princess smirked. Of course the glider would work. She had seen the one the avatar had used. That one had been full proof, same basic design. "You didn't know that would work."

"You worry too much," shot back Azula.

"How about the next time we want to test if something that requires an air bender I'll strap you to the contraption and throw you off a roof," snapped the man.

"Funny, we might not get along but our threats coincide with each other," said Azula with a fake smile.

"What?" Heis made a face and Zula looked sharply back at her friend, intent on ignoring the man.

"I don't think she has good control over that thing," they all turned to look at Gato who was looking at Saki, who was coming right at them with the glider making sudden uncontrolled flinches. "Oh hell, crash landing!"

Azula didn't move as her friend headed right for her and crashed landed right into her. The air was knocked out of the former princess. And while Azula carefully took steps in deep controlling her breathing, Saki puffed somewhere near her left ear making it itch.

"I think that I saw a storm coming before I was run over," said Azula with a small cough. "Or was that you?"

"Nope," said Saki sitting up and cracking a few bones while she did so. "Rain's coming. Dad, I'm fine, I told her to do that, I wouldn't have ever gotten the courage by myself."

"I told you I don't want you to put your life in her hands," the man scolded.

"She's fine dad," snapped Saki. "And what gives you the right to tell me what I can and can't do. I've barely seen you my whole life the only thing you've ever given me is a bunch of useless stories and a few nick-nacks."

"You've been listening to that crazy girl," the man seemed, guilty.

"That crazy girl is more of a family member then you've ever been. She supports me, pushes me to be better, you… you-" Saki couldn't seem to find the word, but in a second it didn't matter.

"Fire," Tuk whispered.

"What?"

"Fire!" screamed Gato, eyes fixed on the town.

"How'd that happen, the fire's almost reached the town! Hurry we have to get everyone out of here, and make those damn fouls of air benders to stop fanning the fire!" they were racing down the stairs and down the slope and into the village. There was screaming and general mayhem. Azula felt herself run past them as Tuk stopped and tried to calm the people down before they killed each other in the confusion with the help of Bato's air bending.

It washed over Azula in confusion. She could feel their confusion. How had this happened? The fire had already started to rage out of control, tall and near before anyone had noticed. Azula thought back and remembered how the fire had looked. It hadn't started at the old village, in fact it looked as if someone had made a line of fire, as if it had started at that line of fire and then only burned toward the village.

"Mai," Azula snapped out of it to see Saki running by her side. "Come on, we need to help them and then get back out of here!"

Saki meant a family with, once again, too many children and old people with all the able bodies trying to get all the weaklings out. She slung Maxz over her back, remembering how he seemed to like to give her bugs whenever she watched him. Every day he either came or found one for her. She never wanted the answer.

Still, even as she was going she could feel something. The heat was running rampant through her body, at least the calling for it was. She shivered; the heat reminded her of how cold she was. She wanted to feel the fire again, to do more than contain it, to pull it into his body and warm her frozen soul. While still connected she followed the fire. This wasn't natural, not only was it coming in but it was going around. It would cut them off from getting down the mountain as much as it could. If the fire didn't kill them the smoke would. Why the hell was most of this place made out of wood? Even the temple was mostly wood, mostly because they built up so quickly.

"Mai, we have to go!" shouted Saki, her voice yelling over the roaring fire.

"Mai, I'm scared," cried Maxz from around her neck. Azula looked at Saki, she could tell the girl to fly away, but she never would, and even if she did the guilt would never allow her to ever live again.

Azula dropped the boy from her back and reached in, deep where her fire bending centered, she could hear the echo of her name but they would never reach her. Because at the moment she was in her element she went to the edge of the forest and allowed the power to flow through and catch the fire. The warmth encircled her; it came to her body and died, her chill freezing the warmth around her. She leaned forward and drew back with her arms, body and mind, the fire was pulled from far and then inward and it was gone. She opened her eyes slowly just in time to see the last flame touch her hand in a blue fleck and then die out.

She released a steady breath; she pushed down her hands and concentrated on balance. She knew that her emotions could rampage after such intense fire bending. She turned back to the city only to see the family, to see Saki, staring at her in amazement. It looked like the whole town was coming back, just staring at her. Azula pushed her sweaty brows out of her eyes, and noticed they looked more hostile than grateful.

"Mai, please, tell, tell me you're not…" that was Saki. Azula couldn't say anything. Spirits could only use people, not give them powers that they did not already possess.

"Saki, I…" Azula made toward the girl but Mai took a step back.

"Mai you saved…" Maxz tried to run toward her wide smile across his face, but his mother grabbed him stopping him and his smile.

"Mai, please tell me you're not a monster," there was a sincere wish in her friends words. Azula looked at Saki and wished she could take back what she had just done, but then Saki, everyone would be dead.

"Saki I'm not-" she tried to start.

"You are," Saki sounded disgusted and she was backing up again. "You're a monster."

"No, please…"

"Leave," said Saki sharply. "Just leave."

Azula looked, but every face and every person was set against her, rejecting her. Azula stepped back and her breath quickened, she could feel tears, but she couldn't let them fall, she couldn't show her weakness to them. Never again, she would never open herself for that kind of rejection again. She would never again be vulnerable to people who couldn't give a care for her wellbeing. She didn't remember leaving; she didn't remember running, she didn't remember the rain and high winds.

"You were supposed to understand!" Azula shouted after her feet were aching her tears were mixed and damp with rain. "You've been there, you've seen me fire bend. You've always been there for me! When I wasn't good enough for my father! When my friends left me! When I was locked in prison by my own brother! When my mother thought I was a monster! Now, now you think I'm a monster."

Azula flinched as she left the rain that had chilled her to the bones and forced shivers down her spine. She looked up to see small cave was in front of her. She allowed her body to convulse in cold and forced it to head toward the cave. She grabbed some twigs along the way; she wanted to be warm, at least as much as she could. She wanted to be loved, why couldn't anyone love her? If it wasn't her personality or her drive it was because of what they did.

She tripped and fell on the cave floor; she gathered the twigs around her and tried to light them. Nothing.

"Damn, don't leave me, no the avatar promised," the tears still couldn't fall. "Where are you when I want you?!"

"Well Azula it looks like you've really done it this time," Azula froze and then went boneless.

"So, you finally showed up," Azula said her voice hard, defeated but still strong. "Planning on bringing me home to cage my, brother?"

"This was something you had to learn sister," said Zuko.

"Easy for you to say, mother always loved you, uncle took you in, now you're Fire Lord, a title you stole from me," snarled Azula.

"You think it's been easy for me?" asked Zuko, almost calmly. "My father, the person who tried to make you Fire Lord, banished me. I was hunted, called a traitor. Now, now I have to take control of a place with no one, no family, because they're either locked up or banished. My life has been anything but easy. Life is not something that is supposed to be easy Azula. You aren't supposed to get everything just because you try hard to get it; you get it because you deserve it."

"Shut up!"

"I'm starting a new era. I'll fix the mistakes you and dad made. It'll be built on love, not hate," his voice was soft and reasonable.

"Shut up!"

"You know Azula this is probably the reason you're always cold," said Zuko. "I remember when the trainer thought you weren't going to do well because you were so cold, he wasn't even sure you'd have fire. It just proves that your fate was already set even as a child. Come back peacefully, maybe I can even…"

"I don't need your pity!"

Azula ignored her brother and huddled into a tight ball and looked for her inner fire. Where it was, where was that warmth she had heard so much about? Violent rushes of cold forced her to shake out of control.

"Mai," it was Saki, no Saki was gone, she wasn't coming back. "Mai."

"Az, Azi-" she hiccupped.

"Are you trying to tell me you're real name?" asked Saki, the fake Saki. "Mai, Azi, please, look at me."

"Too cold, you've made me too cold," said Azula, not daring to look behind and see that there was no one really there.

"Well, that's a steep accusation," laughed the voice, and then she sighed. "Perhaps I shouldn't have listened to Gato, you really aren't that easy to get along with. If you're a fire bender, well, then I mean it's just who you are, isn't it?"

"A monster," said Azula, the footsteps stopped from leaving. "That's what you said. You said that I was a monster. I must be, you called me that, my mother did, my brother…"

"No, you're not a…"

"That's what you called me! You can't lie to me like my mother can!"

"I'm not some crazy vision you're having," now Saki sounded mad.

"Kill me," Azula's voice was hallow.

"What?" Saki's voice shook.

"Kill me, maybe if you kill me then my mind will be really gone and I can stop being a danger," said Azula and then her body shook. "I'm so cold."

Warm arms encircled around her and Azula's throat caught. She closed her eyes waiting for some kind of death, but nothing happened except that a hand started to make shaky circles on her shoulders and back. A gentle humming filled Azula's ears, words passed by once in a while. Azula found that she was falling into the warmth it created for her. Her eyes slowly closed and she felt herself falling into sleep gently.

"I'm sorry."


	7. One Week

Authors Notes: Yes, I've changed the title, I found a song I liked and thought went well with the story… Its "Precious Illusion by Alanis Morissette".

'Did you know that there are 256 bones in your body? Could I show you how to get one more?'"

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave). Or any of the songs.

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

One Week by Barnaked Ladies

Chapter Seven

Gato was there when Azula woke up. She could still feel the cold in her bones. She sneezed and felt an ache in her muscles and a grogginess that had nothing to do with a deep sleep. She didn't remember the last time she felt this sick.

"You know, you've been so sick the last three days and in that time you've been so pathetic that even Saki's father scolded Saki for speaking so harshly to you," said Gato, his smile ironic and a little forced.

"Don't need his pity," muttered Azula trying to stop the childish act of swiping her hand across her nose to get rid of the snot. "Three days? I've been asleep three days?"

"No, you've been deranged three days, cussing and yelling, it was hard work trying to get your fever down especially with those nails and the moves you picked up from wherever you trained," said Gato and then laughed at the memory. "Master Tuk had something horrible to say to all of us for not standing up and trying to keep you out of the village. He made a lot of sense, but don't think it'll be smooth sailing; there are some who hate the fire nation and especially fire benders. Some are old enough to have a reason or moved here because the fire nation never goes to such obscure places."

"I'm confused, am I welcome here or not?" asked Azula, Gato blinked and looked at her, he laughed.

"You know what, in a way I'm glad you're the same," he smiled at her and somehow Azula knew that at least for the time she was not going to be able to goad him. "Then again, with the gossip that's going on I'm not surprised that something like this would hardly affect you. Or that at least you could put up a mask so quickly."

"I don't wear any masks," said Azula with confidence.

"No, you just keep secrets and sometimes have soft eyes when talking to Saki and listen to everything the girl says," said Gato and then shook his. "I wouldn't be surprised if you go right back and snap at every person who tries to give you a hard time about being a fire bender. You know the usual, they don't give you a chance and you bite back with something rude and build resentment that way."

"You want me to be sweet?" asked Azula sarcastically.

"Hell no, I just think people are in for a shock when they see you haven't changed even when your… gift has been exposed," Gato shrugged.

"Fire bending is not a gift," grossed Azula, before she could go on Gato jumped on the sentence his eyes wide with excitement.

"Is that it? Did your mother really hate fire benders and that's what you turned out like this?" asked Gato with excitement. Azula glared at him and then huffed; she had forgotten that the boy loved gossip as much as a woman did.

"No, or she would have hated my brother also and that definitely was not the case," said Azula with little feeling. "No my mother hated my attitude, that I didn't like things that normal people did. That I was so ambitious, so interested in competitions and defeating anyone I came across as a child."

"Did she ever call you a monster?" asked Gato.

"No, but she might have as well have, I saw the way she looked at me, the way she would spend all her time with my brother and only concentrate on me when she was trying to make me more…"

"Docile?" offered Gato, Azula glared at him.

"It doesn't matter; I haven't seen her since I was little."

"Is she dead?"

"No, my father sent her away after… after she killed my grandfather to save my brother," said Azula hoping that she hadn't given too much away. Though she didn't know what she had said while her fever was raging, what she could have let slip.

"You're family sounds extremely messed up," said Gato bluntly with a small frown and twitch.

"That's putting it lightly I think," said Azula she squirmed a little in the bed and decided that even if she did feel like crap, three days in bed was plenty of time.

"Yeah, oh that reminds me, I was supposed to give you the glass of water and tissue when you – what are you doing?" Gato pushed Azula back down into the bed and propped her up and shoved the water and handkerchief in her hands. "As soon as you can sit up even with me trying to push you down then you can get up, alright Azi?"

"Hmph," grumbled Azula and then blinked. "Azi?"

"It's your name, isn't it? Saki said that you told it to her in the cave," said Gato.

"Oh, I don't remember that," in truth she only remembered the general gist of what had happened. Most of it was a confusion of voices, built and trying to find her fire.

"Well, I'll go get her now, she wanted to talk when you woke up," Gato smiled. "I'm glad that she decided to get you. Though knowing you, I'll regret saying that in a few days time."

Azula waited, patiently, sort of. She fiddled her thumbs, wondered what she could say, hoped she wouldn't be called a monster again and wished she had something to read or occupy her time with in some way then boredom and anticipation.

"Azi, oh, you don't know how great it is to know your real name, though I have to know if your parents were slightly drunk when naming you," Saki had gathered her into a warm hug.

"So, I'm alright again?" asked Azula.

"You were never alright Azi, remembered, you being sick in the head is what brought us together in the first place. But if you mean that we're friends again and that I'm going to help you chase away those visions, then yes, I'm sorry that I ever thought about letting you go," said Saki she gave Azula one last squeeze before sitting back on the wooden chair by her bed.

"So how's the rest of the village with me being back being what I am?" asked Azula. Saki shrugged.

"Torn, there's quite a few people threatening to leave, a few people who refuse to let their children see you again, a lot of those children asking why they can't see you again and asking perfectly logical questions as to why that's the reason when their parents had told them some other moral that contradicts what they're being told. The usual."

"So, I guess I lost my usefulness to the village," said Azula uncomfortably.

"Not exactly," said Saki trying to look at ease. "While we can't expect you to watch all the kids it doesn't really matter because we're basically done rebuilding and everyone else is just going to start making the finishing touches and fixing a little of the damage done by the fire. We're going to keep the mess as long as we don't any place to farm and as the meat is not harder to find since the spirits didn't restore the forest after this last attack."

"That didn't answer my question," said Azula with a raised eyebrow. Saki blinked and then smiled.

"Master Tuk is very excited; you see he's decided that you're probably the best bet on starting the children air benders to be taught the basics from you. He says that even though you're a fire bender you're the one with the most experience in actually using your fire bending and because of who you probably trained to be you know a little about air bending theory and the rest you can learn from the scrolls."

"Are you sure that's okay, it's usually best if someone has a demonstration," said Azula. "Shouldn't I teach them to read or something useful like that?"

"Not all villagers see learning to read something important, but yeah, in the afternoon that's the lesson you'll be teaching," she said happily.

"This is impossible," said Azula with a sigh. "And parents are still going to bitch about me teaching something that my people tried to wipe out?"

"Well, yes, but most of the air benders that are coming are going to be sent here by their parents and very few parents are going to follow their kids here. In fact we've started sending out a few scouts to go gather some more air benders."

"So I'll be teaching everyone?" asked Azula.

"No just the brats," Azula sneezed. Saki looked concerned and placed her hand on her forehead. "You're still a little warm. I'll be going now so you can rest up. Tuk should be back with something for you to read a little later."

"But…"

"The more you take it easy and rest the better you'll feel," said Saki silencing Azula and smiling gently. "You can't teach kids feeling crappy they'll walk all over you."

Saki kissed her forehead and left.

------

Sokka landed on the top of the mountain. The town and temple looked a little run down and in need of repairs. So far he had found a few places that needed help, a few that needed Zuko to be there calming the citizens nerves others that were past help and acceptance. Still he hadn't found what he and Aang had been looking for, something to make Zuko perk up. Ever since he found out that his mother was missing and the pressures put on him by his new station that stopped him from looking for her, plus Azula's disappearance, the teen had started looking warn and depressed. Aang had decided the prince needed a break, but that he would need a valid excuse for politics to get his rest. So far all he had found was more headaches for the young Fire Lord.

He looked up at the temple like thing that stood proud in wood and stone. It had been done very hastily. But he would tell they were trying. So, maybe he would have…

"Hey, watch it!" a girl screeched behind a pile of … stuff, mostly scrolls. She skipped in a precarious circle before coming to a stop, the scrolls facing him.

"Sorry, it's just the…"

"The weird ass forest we have," said the girl. "Yeah, it just grew back from a forest fire the other day."

"Grew back… from a forest fire?" asked Sokka in shook.

"Yeah, second one these people have had, it stops short of where the tree line stops," the girl sounded irritated.

"There's spirit trouble here?" Sokka asked, he couldn't believe his good luck, just as he was about to give up he found something that might give Zuko a much needed vacation.

"Don't sound so happy about it," said the girl dryly.

"Azi! What the hell are you doing up already, you only became sane," the chubby boy seemed to stop and rethink what he said. "Your fever only broke yesterday."

"I'm fine; I stayed in bed all day yesterday, that was enough. Don't worry I'm just going somewhere quiet to read these scrolls so I know what I'm teaching the twerps when Saki and Tuk spring them on me for their lessons," Sokka shifted, it was odd to suddenly become invisible like this.

"Hey, did you fly in on that…"

"Flying bison," the girl replied her voice for the most part uninterested.

"What?"

"That's what it's called," said Azi, she shifted her stuff. "I'm guessing that he's friend with the avatar since he's the only one that is left of that species."

"He's the avatar," the boy's voice cracked in excitement.

"I didn't say that," the girl butted in again. "I said he was a friend. Unless the air benders were a lot darker then you are these days."

"It's possible, the fire benders eradicated every single air bender," said the boy.

"Gato," the girl sounded a little irritated.

"Azi!" a voice boomed. Sokka turned in time for someone to literally come crashing into him. "You won't believe what I saw."

Sokka looked at the frail body still lying on him. It was a stick girl with fire touched hair and big green eyes. More interesting was that she seemed to be holding a slightly abused glider.

"A flying bison," the first girl deadpanned. "You're currently lying on the guy that flew the thing in."

"Really?" she turned so that her nose wasn't even an inch from Sokka's face.

"Master Tuk said that the avatar had the last flying bison, are you the last air bender?" she seemed overly eager.

"No, but I am close friends with him. That's why I got to borrow Appa," said Sokka.

"Appa, the flying bison's name," the new girl almost sounded reverent.

"Saki, calm down and get off the poor boy," Gato said shaking his head. "And did you tell miss eager here that it was okay to get out of bed? Master Tuk could have taken her the scrolls she needed."

"Not even my command would have kept her in bed," said Saki with a small shrug. "I thought it best to just let her to stretch her legs as long as she didn't go down into the village."

"I'm right here," Azi said in irritation.

"Um, so," Sokka said, cutting into their conversation. "What is this temple for?"

"It's an air bending temple," said the girl with a shrug.

"Really, did you have to rebuild it because of the fire?" asked Sokka looking back at the building.

"No, we're hoping to teach air bending to a new generation," said Saki with a smile. Sokka smile and nodded, until he worked out what she had just said.

"Yes, she literally flew into you, she's a new flier, the only one who dares so far," Gato rolled his shoulders to crack his back. "Personally I just wish she'd stop landing on people to stop."

"You're an air bender," Sokka asked in shock.

"Yup," said the girl happily. "So is Gato, Azi's not, but she's one of the few learned people here. Ow. So she's going to be teaching theory to the only people who will not only listen to her, but love her… children."

"And on that note, I'm gone, tell the avatar that I'm a fan of his work but to fuck off," her voice was clipped and irritated. And then she was gone.

"Well, she's an interesting character," Sokka watching the girl go.

"You have no idea," the boy grossed, but he watched Azi with a little fear.

"Oh, go on and trail after her Gato I'll make sure the um… friend of the avatar is well taken care of," said Saki and the boy was off in a flash.

"Is she ok?"

"Yeah, but she's not entirely mentally stable," said Saki. "Don't worry, we've found she's more of a liability to herself then the people around her."

"So, you're an air bender?" asked Sokka, not sure how to approach the idea.

"Yup, born one like my grandmother was. It's true that there's not that many of us, but some air benders did survive. We've learned all our lives to keep our powers secret, at least until the day that the avatar brought balance back to the world," said Saki and motioned for him to follow. "I learned from Azi that the Fire Lord had been defeated. We came here and the people were forced to move to the top of this mountain which I had thought would be perfect for a temple for air bending. We took it as a sign."

"So you're planning to start teaching air bending here?" asked Sokka.

"Yup, we've already started sending runners to spread the word and try to find people who can learn to control their powers," said Saki. She turned and looked at him with a wide smile.

"This is amazing, you won't believe how excited Aang will be to hear that there are air benders!" said Sokka. "You won't mind me bringing him here to meet all of you would you?"

"Bring who here?" the voice was forced and thick.

"Elder Fin, um…"

"Sokka."

"Sokka wants to bring the avatar here," said Saki with a polite bow.

"The ava—" the man seemed to shocked to go on. He shook himself a little and coughed. "Of course, we'd be more than happy to have the avatar come. Perhaps he could help for a little while to get us started teaching air bending."

"I'm sure that this is something that he has been waiting for a while," said Sokka with a smile and awkward bow.

"Very goo…" no one here seemed to be able to get everything they wanted out without someone interrupting them. The ground shock violently and tapestries and books could be heard hitting the ground.

"An earth quake?" asked Sokka, it died quickly after that.

"Yes, well, we've been having some spirit problems recently," said the man. The girl stood looking a little ashen. Her eyes grew wide.

"I have to go!" and she was gone.

"I suppose we would have needed the avatar eventually anyway. Even though the village has been moved here and we have started a new air temple the spirit still keeps making its anger known. At least it's no longer fire," the man sighed a shock his head. "Come, you must be hungry, we'll put you into one of the temple rooms for as long as you need to rest."

"I really need to tell Aang," said Sokka, he couldn't wait to tell his friend. He hadn't been lying. Aang would be tripping over himself to get to this temple.

"One more day will not make a difference; we have already gone over one hundred years hiding our powers, waiting to the avatar to teach us is not going to change much," said Elder Fin.

"Is there anything that you know that could be irritating the spirit?" asked Sokka, he saw the man flinch. "If there's anything then I think you should tell me so Aang can be thinking of how to fix it as he comes here."

"It's not worth saying, there's a small chance… and plus, if that's the problem it will make problems with Saki, and that girl is, at the moment, our best hope for air benders," Sokka sighed, people always had to make these things so difficult. "Anyway, how about we get some food, it's a little late for lunch but I'm sure we can convince the cooks to give us something from the mess hall."

Sokka wondered idly if the man had seen the Ember Island production if he thought food distracted him so easily. But the water tribe peasant decided to let it go. Nothing he could do. He couldn't force the man to tell him what was wrong.


	8. Wanted Dead or Alive

Authors Notes: Right, I think I didn't make it clear, but all those things Azula was holding in the other chapter covered her face, he couldn't see her. Also, I know how shaky this whole idea is. It's not supposed to be completely realistic, just take into account that it isn't only the hair that's changed.

'Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven?'

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave). I do not own the songs either.

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi

Chapter Eight

Wanted Dead or Alive

Aang sat in a meditative pose. He really didn't feel anything off balance with the spirit world, but the people had sworn they had been seeing some apparition around this area during the night. It caused general havoc and would be gone with some of their things in the morning. It looked like he would have to tell the villagers that there was no spirit or fire bending ghost, that it was someone in their town or living near the outskirts that had been causing all the mayhem. Aang did not look forward to it, they would deny it up to the point where he produced the person, preferably caught in the act with witnesses.

"Hey, let me guess, nothing's wrong?" Katara came and sat next to him. Aang smiled lazily. He could hardly believe it some days that he was lucky enough to end up with such a beautiful and kind person as Katara.

"Not with the spirit in this area at least," he sighed and stood, stretching his aching muscles out as he did so.

"The villagers aren't going just accept that," said Katara with a sigh.

"No, but can we tell them and then hightail it out of here anyway?" asked Aang clasping his hands and giving Katara what he hoped was a cute hopeful look.

"No, we have to help, you're the avatar and…" Aang sighed; Katara still loved o give lectures.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But there's been tons of avatars before me that isolated themselves and only concentrate on the big issues. Sure they didn't leave any great impact but I've already defeated the Fire Lord, what more should I be expected to do?" Katara looked unimpressed by his plea. "What about Jet?"

"Jet is happy following us around and meeting new children," said Katara. "Don't frown like that, he's not even our kid, we're just watching him for gran… what's wrong?"

"Sokka," the avatar whispered. Katara sighed herself. No one had seen Suki's death coming. He had lost her and his daughter in one foul instance. At first no one had wanted to tell her brother that not only had he lost his love but his child. At first it had been a shock to Katara, her brother had gotten Suki pregnant, he was not old enough and nowhere near mature enough to take care of a child. But looking at him, seeing how he looked when there was even the barest hint of talk about the girl or even children, no one with any sympathy would ever be as cruel as to say so. No one even tried to scold the boy for knocking up his dead girlfriend.

"He would have made a great father," Aang thought out loud. Katara choose not to comment only hummed softly. "Hey, is that Appa?"

"You're just…" but no, that definitely looked like… "It's Sokka, he must have found something!"

"Halleluiah!" shouted Aang. Katara smile with kind eyes and grasped her necklace.

Sokka landed on the ground and seemed to be trying to hide a devious smile. That alone gave her hope that maybe he had found something that could give Aang some reason again. Or maybe even something to distract Zuko -- from what she had heard the Fire Lord was close to breaking down. They tried to keep in contact, but the teen was still getting used to having to go to so many meetings, meet so many people, and have so much paper work. She'd felt worse hearing about how some of the kingdom fought Zuko. That they clung to their old ideals not letting go that they were not once again trying to overrule every kingdom, that they had been wrong. It was hard. They had been brought up on the ideas that their way of life and everything they had was the best and that everyone else was uncultured and crude. They had thought that by becoming what they had, by controlling all of these other places they would be spreading their proper ideals to the world.

"Katara, Aang!" Sokka jumped off Aang and got both of them in a tight hug. "Boy is it good to see you two! So, I found what we were looking for. There's this place up on a kinda small mountain, not that tall, but they have their own temple, and they're currently suffering from an attack from a nearby spirit. Oh, and Aang they said the reason something about building there the first time the spirit was there because they felt it would be the spot where air benders would come."

"Seriously?" Aang asked.

"Seriously," said Sokka going for dramatic effect.

"Yes! Thank you so much Sokka!" Aang practically skipped on the air. "Come on Katara we have to go and convince Zuko's people that he needs to take a trip to where the air nomads and the new ones are going to be. We could say that I think the spirit is waiting for resolution for the wrongs committed to its people because of the Fire Lord, and only he can fix it. Or something like that."

"But Aang, what about the village?" asked Katara.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," the avatar sounded depressed and for a second Katara felt bad. "I have an idea, where's that ink well?"

Aang quickly wrote a note, blew on it to dry, folded it and put a rock on it.

"There, that should explain the situation to them," said Aang proudly.

"Aang," Katara sounded as if a lecture was on the way.

"No time," the air bender said with excitement. He picked up Katara around the waist and hoped onto Appa, Sokka was already getting himself settled on Appa's back for the ride. "Yip, yip."

When they reached the fire kingdom Katara couldn't help but feel apprehensive, for such a long time this place had represented her fears and been the cause of all the anger she had. Now it was run by a friend, by someone who was trying to do right and correct the wrongs of his ancestors. Still, Katara had heard the many people who hated the prince not based on his own actions but those of the ones before him. She had heard people say that he was just like his father, only weaker so the avatar could manipulate him. Or that Zuko had been true to his father until he realized that by joining the avatar could he become Fire Lord. She boiled every time she heard it, her water bending wanting to lash out and strike the people who dared to question someone who had suffered so much in his life.

The fire land looked burned; everything appeared to have a red tint. Confusion floated in the air, mourners, haters, and children. Many people were starving and the rich hardly spared those unfortunate souls a glance. Zuko helping to rebuild what was lost was sucking the money in taxes from his people. Many could hardly afford to feed their own families, but any time that Zuko tried to back out of a major issue he was called on it by other nations who would not hear about how his people were suffering pointing to their own people and showing how much they had suffered under fire nation rule.

Zuko came running out to greet them, his formal robes almost tripping him in the process. All their eyes widened and Katara felt a small seed of fear start to grow until she saw his face.

"Zuko what happened?" asked Aang, Zuko took a deep breath and they suddenly didn't know what they could do.

----

"So now, the last person to pick up on this trip would be Toph, and then we'd have the whole gang with us," said Sokka happily as they started flying into one of the outer, but larger cities in the fire kingdom.'

"Are you sure this is where the tour took her?" asked Sokka looking down on the city.

"There's some fire benders who wanted to fight her, plus there are some earth benders in the fire kingdom," said Zuko with a shrug, he had thought that the tour would be a thing to help contact others to the earth kingdom, of course it had them beating on each other, but that would help with aggression, he hoped.

"I can't believe that she still does these fights," said Katara crossing her arms in disappointment.

"These fights are mostly staged, just for show; though I'm sure Toph could take them on if they were serious. She's only been convinced once to throw a fight, and she won her title back quick enough," said Aang.

"Well, I suppose she always did like coning people," said Katara. "And I feel bad sometimes for yelling at her."

"Why, because her parents disowned her?" asked Sokka.

"Just because they got a son that they think they control is no reason to reject a child just because she didn't turn out the way that they wanted. Plus, what kind of politics is that? I mean she's best friends to the avatar," Katara had her arms crossed and pouting.

"Hey, this get away is for all of us," said Aang. "A chance to see the world as a group again. I mean, sure Zuko's advisors might be a bit pissed to find out he went without escorts like we agreed on, but, damn, I'm the best escort there is."

"Right? What's better protection then the avatar?" agreed Sokka. "Hey, I think I hear the fight! Oh, and look, there goes one of competitors, up and out!"

They flew down and the waited only a few minutes before Toph came flying at them.

"You guys have great timing, I just sent the last competitor flying!" said Toph happily, and pushed some hair from her sightless eyes.

"Do you have some time off?" asked Aang.

"I only travel with this group when I want; if I disappear they'll just build up the crowd's moral by making a big build of competitors. Why are we going on an adventure, we are way overdue to do so," said Toph, she started climbing onto Appa's back.

"But don't you have other places scheduled?" asked Katara.

"I already told you what they'd do," said Toph making a shooing motion. "Plus, this is more important."

Katara decided to drop the conversation. She could never really win with Toph, Toph would be Toph after all.

"Hey, who's this?" asked Toph her hand feeling out the outline that she didn't remember. The person under her hand giggled in a dignified sort of way.

"Toph don't be rude," Katara scolded. Toph took back her hand and held it up in a show of surrender.

"Yeah yeah, I see you're still the wet blanket of our group," said Toph with a sniff. Katara glared but then blushed as everyone started laughing.

----

The skies were clouded when they started to reach their destination. Sokka was pretty sure he had the right direction and place. But while he was alright with direction he was a horrible map maker from memory. He could get it after he'd studied it, and he could study a map. But he had problems with doing it from a basic placement of things, he was working on it, but like public speaking he was better at making it into a joke than anything else.

"What the..?" Toph held tight to Appa as the flying bison bucked in the sky to avoid crashing into something.

"Is that..?" Aang's voice was soft and airy, like he'd seen a miracle.

"Is that what?" asked Toph, completely lost.

"I'd suggest you give the one in yellow some pointers, she crashed into me when I came here," Aang was off in the sky, and Sokka climbing onto Appa's head to take over.

"Wait, are there air benders here?" demanded Toph, not for the first time wishing she would see with her eyes.

"Oh my," said the woman next to Toph, her delicate hand over her mouth.

"Sokka, you jerk, why didn't you tell us that there were actual air benders here?" demanded Katara, her voice so much exasperation as it was awe.

"I thought it'd be a nice surprise for Aang," said the water tribe teen. They watched Aang fly with the three other air benders while landing Appa. When they landed they ran to the top steps of the temple where a dozen other teens and children watching the three air benders with wistfulness in their eyes.

"That's it, just back up a little and, opps," the girl tripped and fell, though not breaking anything.

"Hey, it's Saki, right?" asked Sokka coming and offering a hand to the girl. She smiled and nodded. "Well, that's a better landing then last time."

"Best one yet," said the girl with a smile. "I hope you will help me improve."

"I intend on helping to teach and start the air bending practices again," said Aang bowing to Saki and the rest of the group. The small band of air benders quickly tried to follow their lead, a lot of clumsy attempts at bowing were attempting.

"Sounds like fun," said one of the teenagers with a touch of melancholy.

"Are you really going to teach us air bending?" asked one of the little ones.

"He's going to help," corrected Saki.

"But he's the air bender," said one of the boys.

"But Saki promised that Mai, I mean Azi was going to teach us," whined one of the kids.

"My mother says Azi's a dirty…" sneered another one, and soon they were a pile of bodies.

"A dirty what?" asked Aang, looking at the pile of grumpy children who were trying to rip each other apart. The kids all looked at him and blinked. A motherly woman came and started scolding them and breaking the pile apart to find if any of them had been injured.

"I'll explain inside, you all can go to your rooms for studying while your teacher is out god knows where," said Saki dragging the avatar inside.

"I can't believe that there are still air benders," said Aang happily. "I had thought that I was the last one!"

"That's the impression that we had hoped to leave on the world," said Saki sadly. "To be an air bender was dangerous, especially right after the attack. You see, they thought they had gotten all of us. If even one of us became exposed to the Fire Lord we could easily be eradicated because there weren't that many of us left, there still isn't."

"I can't believe it," said Aang. "But we will do everything to start the temple back up again."

"I hope you don't expect it to be exactly the way it used to look," said Saki with a small smile. "When you start over again it hardly happens the same way twice."

"We'll be happy to give any assistance that we can," said Zuko, bowing to the girl. She looked at him in interest.

"You have very official looking clothing," said a mid forties man coming from one of the hallways.

"I'm Fire Lord Zuko," said Zuko, his voice proud. Saki gasped a little, her eyes wide.

"In that case we are honored to have your help, but I'd advise you to limit your wandering to around the temple until the people become used to the idea of you being here, many people remember and have suffered under the last Fire Lord and I'm afraid they will direct that at you if they see you," said the man. "Saki, have you seen Azi?"

"No, she was dragged out by one of the hunting groups the other day, if I had to guess she'll be back with them," said Saki, regaining her bearings with little difficulty.

"The children are growing restless," he sighed. "I hope that we will see more of each other, I'm sorry I must depart so quickly but I have to make sure none of the ancient scrolls are destroyed by eager young hands." The man left his sword following his movements.

"So Azi is a bender, did she almost expose you guys before the war ended and that's why you're so mad?" asked Sokka.

"No, she's not a bender, she's insane, literally. She'll go through spells where she visions of people she's known from her past and also times when she's out of it or more scary than usual," said Saki. "But she's more dangerous to herself and she's good with kids."

"So she becomes docile around children," said Katara with a soft smile.

"Um, not exactly. In fact, none of us want to know what she does to them to make then obey her, but they do as they're told and still want to see her the next day," said Saki with a small laugh. "Don't worry she's not making them believe in her crazy beliefs, Elder Fin interrogated some kids and then her. He doesn't exactly approve, but none of is really want to be the one to take of them, they can be rather scary when they get in their moods. Doubled with air bending that not even we understand, well, they're more than a handful."

"You leave your kids with someone who is certifiably insane?" asked Aang, hardly believing his ears.

"I can't even say she's a nice girl," said Saki.

"I heard that, who's he..?" a young girl came into view. Tall, with some gentle curves, a narrow face, and blue hair; she seemed frozen looking at them.

"Azi!" called out Saki, she ran to the other girl and opened her arms and said happily. "The bald one is the avatar, and the teen in fancy red robes is the fire king!" she squeaked when Azi fell onto the ground in a deep bow. Saki blinked her friend in wonder for a few second. "I'm sure that's not necessary."

"Not at all," said Zuko, his voice kind. The girl stood, but her movements were stiff and her blue bangs hid her face.

"They say you're going to be teaching the little ones air bending. What makes you qualified when you're not even an air bender?" Azi glared at Aang until she smiled uncomfortably and took a few steps back from her face. The girl sighed and seemed torn for a second before she blew one bang up and crossed her arms.

"No one here, not even the air benders know how to air bend. I was taught the sword where there were also fire and earth benders studying, even those of us without any bending learned some of the basic forms. Plus I've studied the scrolls and can accurately describe what is supposed to happen, and I'll have Gato to give the demonstrations," said Azi, her voice was clipped and irritated. Saki was giving her friend a weird look, but just smiled at Sokka sweetly when he looked at her questionably.

"Oh, well, then I guess that's okay. You sound sane," said Aang, the girl glared at him. Her jaw worked and then she glared at Saki.

"I needed to inform them on the whole situation. It would be a little awkward if you went into one of your spells and they had no idea what was going on," said Saki with a shrug. Azi huffed and looked at the group; she seemed less than impressed on the whole with their arrival.

"Azi! You're… what the hell happened to your hair?" the chubby teen asked. He bit his lip to stop the laugh that wanted to break free.

"The Kish thought that I would look better like this," said Azi dryly.

"Maybe it's his way of showing he that he accepts you," said Gato with a chuckle.

"That's what he said, and now he has to use that stick to get around for the next few days," said Azula, Gato chuckled and shook his head.

"At any rate, they want you to know you're welcome to join in on the hunts any time you wish," said Gato. "Who are these guys?"

"I'm Aang, the avatar," said Aang before Saki could make introduction again. He smiled widely at the dumbstruck look the guy was looking.

"My name is Katara, of the water tribe."

"I'm Toph, the best damn earth bender ever!"

"I'm Zuko, Fire Lord," said Zuko. In a second the kid was right in his face.

"Really?" Gato said and then started doing an odd inspection of the stunned fire bender. "I'd always pictured you as more scary and overbearing. Ow, nasty scare you got there. All in all you must not get a lot of respect, I mean; you're not all that imposing to look at. Well, maybe that scar, but definitely not with these rags."

"These are my casual clothes," said Zuko, a little angered by what the boy was implying.

"Casual clothes? Dude you need to take a better look at what you're wearing, you can't do anything casual in these fine cloths, is this silk?" why didn't Saki tell them that there was more than one insane residing at this temple? "Oh, hey Sokka, how are you doing?"

"Alright," said the water tribesman conversationally.

"Well, I'm off," said Azi while rolling her eyes. Gato's focus went back to the girl, still holding Zuko's sleeve in one hand.

"Going to get that blue out of your hair?" asked Gato with a smile.

"No, I thought I'd keep it, matches my look doesn't it?" said the girl dryly. Gato just smiled at her and Azi made to leave before bring assaulted by a ton of little bodies all shouting her name. She was then dragged away by said little creatures looking shocked and obviously a little scared that the little things had known so quickly that she was back. Saki broke into soft laughter and Gato just looked back so he could shake his head at Master Tuk.


	9. Frozen

Author's Notes: "If I told you that you had a great body would you hold it against me?"

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave).

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

Frozen by Madonna

Chapter Nine

Frozen

Azula watched as the little things concentrated on making the small soft balls follow the path that the air made in-between their hands. They had only been practicing airbending for a few days, it had taken a little persuasion for some of them to get over their fear of being reprimanded had kept them from really trying at first, and those were the ones who also tended to hide what they were doing but who's eyes would light up with the brightest shine when they got a move right and they couldn't help but show off. For others the fact that they were allowed to do something that had been against the rules before was what motivated them now, and they tended to be ones to give Azula the most grief with all their tricks and trying to airbend in ways that were much too advanced for them, like flying. Those three had found out exactly how mad and hardsh she could be when the rules were broken.

They all had been shaved much to the sadness of the girls who cried over their lost hair, though none of them had received the tattoos, it hadn't been decided if they should. Those marking had once symbolized a people who didn't believe in worldly belongings and could move from place to place firmly. But now their ancestors were for the most stationary, not moving year to year. So it no longer seemed appropriate, because though many would become teachers, still more in the future would be expected to learn their arts of being air benders but also expected to return to their families after they were done. It would be up to them if they did so, of course, but even the spirit journey expected most kids to return to where they once lived.

Azula didn't care much. That was not the problem that consumed her, what her thoughts dwelled on was her brother and his friends. They were all in one place, and better yet, they didn't even recognize her. She could easily use that to her advantage. But, the most ridiculous thing was stopping her from planning out her revenge, Saki. Saki looked to the avatar and saw hope for her people, saw someone of great value. She spoke of Aang as she spoke of a great spirit. Even after he completed helping to rebuild the temple and teach the people here all they needed to know about air bending then she would still feel guilty about killing him. Because it wasn't just that he was an air bender that Saki loved about him, she idolized him for all he stood for and all he'd done. The very reasons that she wanted revenge against the avatar were the reasons that Saki looked up to him.

Saki had even managed to stop Azula's plans on becoming an only child. Something she'd always had a little fantasy about even as a child. But Saki talked about all the good he could do for the world and the air benders. She talked about how with her brother as the Fire Lord they would actually get to grow once again in peace. They would be able to roam free where with the old Fire Lord they'd still be forced into secrecy, forced not to hide part of themselves. She had spoken about how even the new Fire Lord, Zuko's sister, would have continued to poison the minds of her people. At that point in time Azula would try to block the girl out, her sails completely out of wind, and all thoughts of revenge pushed out and replaced with depression.

It wasn't just that Saki idolized people that Azula hated, if it had been that then Azula was pretty sure she could still find the power to kill her brother and the damn avatar. It was what Saki had thought of her personally that drove her to just silently seethe at her brother and avoid him and his friends as much as she could. That and she tried to envision herself lying to Saki, that no, she had not killed the avatar and remembered how easily the girl could see through her lies in a way that no one, not even that little blind earth bender, could have. She was angry, not so much at Saki, but more with herself. How could she let this person have so much control over her – that just by the thought of Saki's rejection could stop her from completing her one last goal in her life?

"You're thinking too hard again," said Gato nudging her with a smile. Gato had seen how she had dealt with the new kids to get in them in line; he had just started speaking to her again.

"Gato, what would you do if something made you question the path you thought you needed to take?" asked Azula, for once seeking council besides her own quick mind.

"I'd probably revaluate what I thought I had to do and find a new path," said Gato with a shrug. "It's basically what I did when I decided to live here from now on."

"I should have known better then to ask you, air benders, so flighty," said Azula, though how Gato could speak so generally but flippantly about a family he no longer had, she wasn't sure. Personally she didn't get the problem that he was having with them. In her culture it wasn't uncommon for a man to take on a male lover, especially in time of war in the old days when women had been forbidden from fighting. Even now a days it was just safer in away to have a same sex lover, they thought it would be easier then becoming pregnant and that since many preferred the opposite sex it would be easier to not gain a lover that would tear apart someone's heart if that person was lost. So she had no problem with Gato being gay, or whatever he called it. She said that if his parents were so set on having children then he should be married to some girl and then take on a male mistress. Gato had dryly stated that he wasn't rich enough to do that. She had shrugged and asked what the problem was then, if he wasn't having an arranged marriage then he might not have gotten married period and she really didn't see what the problem was.

"And if I didn't know better I'd say you were an earth bender with how stubborn you're being," teased Gato. "But you're temper does show you're true heritage. Ow."

"Hey, um, I've just come to observe," Azula almost jumped at the water tribe boy's voice. She glared from the side of her eyes.

"Great, especially since…" the bell range signaling lunch. "The lessons over and I'm officially done for the day." Azula pointed and the children were gone. She tried to leave but noticed that the kid was following her, that, and Gato had disappeared.

"So, um, you're insane?" asked the teen.

"That's not a good way to start a conversation," said Azula starting to get the feeling that this kid was going to get on her nerves. "But yes, for arguments sake let's say I'm insane and somehow generate a cultured conversation from that starting point."

"You talk kinda funny," said Sokka looking put out.

"Yeah, and you talk kinda stupid," Azula wished she could just crush his little stupid head between her palms, that was sure to help her with her anger at this point.

"Well, um," Sokka sighed. "That kinda killed conversation."

"Great get lost," said Azula, hoping that she hadn't set any of him on fire because that could cause problems.

"What do you have against me and my friends anyway?" asked Sokka apparently finding the real reason he was after her to talk.

"Believe me, you don't want to know," said Azula, going down the steps toward the mess.

"I want to prove to you that we're not really all that bad," said Sokka, he looked like he had come up with a plan. Azula hated the boy's plans; he let his emotions get in the way of carrying them out.

"Good luck with that," snarled Azula. Why wouldn't this boy take the hint and leave her the hell alone? She got into the line and waited to get her food. Not the best stuff in the world. Sokka followed her. "Shouldn't you be eating nicer food in the temple?"

"We choose to eat with everyone, even Zuko's here," said Sokka with a wide smile and then he blushed as she glared at him.

"Good, go irritate them," she said and went to go to the far table.

"Not without you," the water tribe peasant practically sang, as he hooked his arm in hers and squeezed her hand.

"Let me go!" Azula demanded and tried to do something very painful to his hand. Apparently he had heard about her past experience besides the sword and knew what she was trying to do, because she somehow ended on the bench anyway with only giving him two new bruises. Her threats fell on deaf ears, and her glare was ineffective.

"She said that she didn't feel well. Sokka, what the hell did you do?" Azula found herself looking into the gold eyes of her brother.

"Bringing Azi over here so she can eat with us against her will," said Sokka happily. Azula tried to stand only to have the boy lean against her, which scared the hell out of her, people did not touch her this casually unless they were Saki or Gato, no one else had dared, not even her mother.

"Yes, I noticed that, do you really think that is wise?" asked Zuko.

"Sure, she usually eats on her own anyway, I thought it best if she joined us, got to know us besides just the stories and rumors," said Sokka and started to dig into his food at an alarming rate. Azula scrunched her nose in disgust.

"I don't want to get to know you," she hissed but didn't try to get up. For some reason she had the feeling that she wasn't going to be let go by this group.

"So Azi, how is life around here?" asked the water tribe girl with a friendly smile.

"Not much different from anywhere else," said Azula with little emotion.

"Do you have any time for fun? I mean between watching the kids and all," Katara's voice was soft as if she were talking to a child.

"Whatever could you mean?" asked Azula with fake cheer. "Terrorizing children into doing my bidding is fun. Almost as fun as learning the sword so that I can get revenge against that bastard of a brother I have."

The group just stared at her for a second. Then Sokka broke into ruckus laughter.

"Oh, that's a good one," said Sokka hitting the table with mirth ad spitting out a few crumbs of food. Azula just stared at him and he seemed to get that she was completely serious. "Oh, you're not joking."

"Revenge is never a good thing," Azula allowed her eyes to travel to the avatar; of course he'd say something like that. "It's better to forgive then to constantly search for revenge. If you look only for revenge you'll only end up hurting yourself."

"Remind me never to go to you for advice," said Azula and then took a sip of her tea. She didn't need some goody two shoes advice, especially from one who had an agenda for what he said, even if he didn't know it.

"Don't stress so much over what she says," said Saki coming and scouting herself between the earth bender and the water bender. "She's more bark than bite."

Azula spent the rest of the meal in silence, going over ways that she could get her friend back for what she had said.

The next few days were very irritating. The water tribe peasant Sokka insisted on following her around. He was starting to work on her nerves and she was very close to fire bending just to get him to leave her alone. But she was afraid to do so. While they might be dense enough to let a little change in figure and hair style make it so they couldn't recognize her anymore, it didn't mean that if they saw her fire bending they wouldn't figure out who she was. She had basically given up on the whole revenge thing anyway.

So the past fire princess was stuck with an annoying shadow. She had to keep her hair blue and had to ask Kish for extra dye. The boy had stared at her stupidly for a few minutes before smiling and getting some it. He had this weird glint in his eyes when he asked if she wanted to go on the next hunt. She had nodded in agreement but said she'd have to pass it with the elders and Master Tuk, he had understood and sent her on her way. So, for however long the avatar insisted on being here, she had blue hair. It felt weird, but since she didn't see herself in a mirror very often she wasn't constantly reminded of how different a year had made her.

"Seems your shadow doesn't follow you into the bedroom," said a teasing voice.

"Shut up Saki," said Azula burying her head in her pillow.

"Come on, Azi, lighten up," said Saki with a laugh. "I'm surprised to find you in your room alone; he really seemed interested in you."

"Believe me, even if he had been interested in that in the beginning I tend to act a little too intense for guys to stick around for long," said Azula.

"Sounds like you're talking from experience," said Saki.

"Yeah," sighed Azula. "Plus, that boy is obsessed with only three things, his jokes, his dead girlfriend, and the Fire Lord."

"At least he's, um, consistent," said Saki with a giggle.

"If he doesn't shut up and give me a little peace during the day I'm afraid that he's going to find himself flying with you tomorrow," Azula sat up and pushed her hair out her face and smiled at her friend.

"Azi, no throwing the avatars friends off cliffs because you don't know when someone is flirting with you," said Saki with a giggle.

"I know what flirting is, my friends got hit on all the time," said Azula.

"Not you?"

"Nah, people either knew who I was and didn't dare, or they would be distracted by my friend. There was one boy, but I was very ambitious, let's just say that our conversation was short and lasted only a little longer then it took to open my mouth," said Azula and then sighed.

"They knew you were insane?" asked Saki looking concerned.

"No, at least not until the end, I had a reputation where I was as a protégé. No one dared to approach me, not that I let them, I knew that they would run away with time I guess. Plus, I wasn't that interested in that kind of thing. It just sort of hurt to see that no one really seemed to want to be near me. The only friends I had were first brought over by my father and then I basically threatened them into staying that way," said Azula.

"No need to go looking for something you don't want. You've got us here, we're friends and you definitely can't threaten me to leave," teased Saki.

"I can't even threaten you to slow down when my feet are bleeding," teased Azula.

"I didn't know you're feet were bleeding, if I had known…"

"We would have kept going," deadpanned Azula.

"Yes, but we would have stopped to get you better footwear," said Saki with a smile. Azula waited with a little patience. She was tired and didn't need a long drawn out argument that first had begun as meaningless little chit chat.

"Saki, please, just tell me what's wrong," Saki looked surprised and then smiled.

"It's just something you said a few days ago," said Saki, she sat down next to Azula and started running her hands through Azula's blue hair, not looking her friend in the eyes. "Do you really hate your brother that much?"

"He locked me up," hissed Azula. "He took away everything I had worked so hard for. He is the reason that I finally… broke."

"It's just," Saki seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. "I would do anything to have my brother back. I would cherish the thought of him coming back and have those same fights we used to have, to have him lecture me on my swing and that I'm not girly enough to get any man. I can't imagine someone who would take that so for granted that they'd want their brother dead."

"I don't take it for granted. You think that I grew up with those kinds of memories? All we had was the beginning of our childhoods and then he left. My father sent me out eventually to get him back because I still wasn't enough. When he came back he betrayed both of us. I was put into a cell. It was so cold, I can't get warm Saki! I've never had the same heat inside that I'm supposed to have. But ever since I was in that ice cold room I've been cold I can't seem to get warm, not even by dragging fire inside of me. It's because of him I'm this cold, it's because he had to ruin it all," her voice help venom. How dare Saki judge her on her relationship with her brother? She didn't know the beginning of it, how much it hurt to be reduced to nothing when she had had so much.

"Maybe you're so cold because you still harbor this hatred for your brother, maybe if you forgave him, saw that he was only trying to help you, save you and everyone around you from what you were becoming then you could move on with your life," said Saki, taking Azula's hands in hers. Azula saw how much this meant to her friend.

"I can't forgive him," said Azula softly. "He didn't do it for me, there is no love lost between me and him. But I promise you, I will not seek out revenge, not because I'm some bleeding heart to believe that he'd better or because I think he was right, but because it would make you sad, and that's the last thing I want to do. You're the only who keeps accepting me through it all, the only one I can't bully around, and yet you stay, and that's worth more than even what my father was to me," said Azula, she didn't even stop to consider what she was saying, if she had she might have realized how sappy it was and puked, or ruined it in her usual flippant way.

But Saki just kept smiling at her and Azula found herself falling into those green eyes. They held a deep sadness, longing, and affection. Azula found herself craving it all, wanting all of Saki and make it so the other girl would never leave, to keep accepting her and to see those eyes every waking moment of the day. To put up with her motherly acts and lectures coupled with a child's curiosity. Their faces were inches from each other when Saki blinked and sprang back. She stood fluidly and smiled down Azula.

"You know, sometimes I get so mad at my brother for leaving me, I just wish that you could see what a gift your brother was," said Saki and made to leave.

"Maybe to someone else, but not to me, certainly he was to our mother," said Azula, but she was talking to herself, Saki had already left, closing the door gently behind her.


	10. Courage

Author's notes: "Hi. I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me?"

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave).

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

Courage by Superchick

Chapter Ten

Courage

"I really wasn't sure what to say," said Sokka, he was there again he wouldn't even stop talking as she was trying to correct one of the children that could seriously injure herself if she kept spinning her air that way during this exercise. "I mean, sure I agreed, but he'd been tracking us all this time, trying to kill us and capture Aang…"

"Will you shut up!" Azula finally shouted. She was done with subtle threats and bone chilling looks; it seemed she would have to be direct to get rid of this particular annoyance. "Look you block head of a water tribesmen, leave me the hell alone, at least if you have to talk so incessantly could you choose another topic? If I hear one more retold story about the Fire Lord I am seriously going to send you along with the air benders into the sky! I don't care what Saki said."

"Oh, that reminds me did I tell about the time that I went with Zuko to go rescue..?"

"Yes, you've told me about the time that you went with the bloody Fire Lord to recue your father to regain your honor and you faced down impenetrable prison and with your father and the help of people that were supposed to be the bitches friend to turn on her 'cause she loved the bloody Fire Lord. Yes I've heard, and now I'd rather never hear mention of it again!" shouted Azula. She did not need to remember one of her most humiliating defeats by the avatar, especially not a version that was said with so much cheer.

"Really? Well, I couldn't have told you about the time that Zuko tried to get rid of Aang by trying to…"

"Ah!" Azula screamed holding her hands over her ears. Gato looked over their way in concern.

"Hey, Miss Priss," Azula blinked and looked over to Saki, her eyes begging for release from the monster of a peasant. "Stop it you're scaring the children, plus we have a bit of an emergency up at the temple and we need you sane for that. Hey Sokka, there's only about half an hour more, you mind watching the kids with Gato, you've got a bit of experience you tagging along with Azi and all."

Saki took off with Azi before Sokka could get over his shock. Saki giggled all the way to the temple, and Azula eternally grateful.

"You're kidding me?" asked Azi as she ran up the stairs and to the side of the cliff.

"Nope, seems the kids a little miffed that he's been ignored for so long, personally I think he should have stayed with his parents. At this point in time I don't think the avatar cares how you get the kid down, he's tried everything to get the boy out but it hasn't worked, the kids as slippery as a slug leech. Here we are, his name is Jet," Saki pushed through the crowd to one of the windows. Azi followed her and then leaned out of the window and turned to see a kid with tribesmen skin and long hair that he tied at the base of his neck with a rap through some strands. He wore all blue clothes with touches of white in the showing through. He was hugging a bag close to him and was huddled over it watching the skies.

"We're not coming from that angle anymore, kid," said Azula dryly. She was surprised to see the boy could even stay perched on the thin ledge, but saw that his back disappeared into the wall, so that's how he got away from the avatar. His wide eyes were looking her way and Azula got her second surprise, the boy had gold eyes.

"I'm going to jump, as soon as everyone's gone. No one cares about me anymore. Gran-Gran dumped me on the avatar and then he almost forgot me at the town when he heard about this place, I might as well be gone," shouted the boy, he was becoming hysterical and had tears in her eyes. Azula sighed, why did people from the water tribe have to be so emotional?

"You're too young to be considering suicide. Plus, if you really had wanted to jump you would have waited until the night. Not even you are probably that stupid," said Azula dryly, the boy glared at her.

"You're not getting me down," said the boy.

"Azi, please," Katara begged behind her. Azula sighed.

"Kid, they found out about air benders…"

"They didn't know about the air benders until we came here," the boy practically cried. "And it shouldn't matter because I'm still their responsibility, I hate getting passed around, I hate it!" he flared out and the fire just missed hitting Azula. She blinked in surprise and looked back at the avatar and water tribes-girl, they both looked shocked. Azula sighed in exasperation and stuck her head out of the window and looked out to see the boy was crying into his sleeve.

"Now no one will want me!" he wailed.

"Kid, stop being so overly dramatic," snapped Azula. "This isn't such a big secret, I'm pretty sure that there is a certain fire bender in their group and he happens to be the Fire Lord. Now you need proper training so get your little butt over here and we'll sort this all out."

"No, you don't understand. My mom told me…" said the boy, he looked desperate, Azula could relate.

"She told you that because we were at war," cut off Azula. "One of your parents were probably abandoners from the fire kingdom. If someone found out about your heritage it probably wouldn't have gone over well wherever you were well. But they're trying to change that now. The fact that they sent you with the avatar meant they were trying to protect you, but also meant wanted you to see the world and accept… This is ridiculous, kid get over here now!" said Azula. The boy looked at her wide eyed.

"No, everyone hates fire benders. I've met fire benders who hated fire benders," said Jet.

"Listen kid, you need to get over here and stop all this," said Azula and then sighed, she looked over to the kid. Lectures didn't work on him, neither did advice, so she could try to plead, but she was pretty sure the avatar had already tried that. Well, they had said any means to get the kid in. "Boy."

"Jet!" snapped the boy, Azula sighed.

"Kid, you know what happens to people like you? People who take their lives, especially for such selfish reason?" the boy shook his head and Azula heard Katara being gagged behind her. "Well, kid you'll be stuck in hottest place you've ever seen, but you'll be cold as ice. You'll be all alone there, no one to help or guide you. All there will be are horrid little fire creatures that coming and burn your skin to a crisp and yet you'll never be able to really feel its warmth."

"He's an orphan," hissed Katara, she didn't seem impressed with her methods, though she had just given her a good idea.

"The worst part though is what you'll see your parents there," the boy looked hopefully at her and then the drop. "And you'll get to see their deaths replayed over and over again. Were you there when it happened? Do you know how they killed them?"

Azula looked deep into those golden eyes and could see from the horror in their depths that he had seen at least one of their deaths, and that it was hard sometimes to sleep without the nightmares replaying themselves over and over again. He made a small whimpering noise and scouted further into the wall. Azula guessed that the crevice didn't lead far, just enough to wedge himself in so that no one could force him out.

"Are you going to come over now?" asked Azula, one eyebrow raised. Jet nodded but looked at the small ledge with fear. Azula sighed. She'd have to go out and get him. She carefully levered herself out of the window. She stood straight against the wall, her feet half hanging out into air. Quickly as she could she scouted over to the boy and detangled him from the outcrop. He was surprisingly compliant, and his slim limbs wrapped around her waist. He was maybe a thin seven.

Then the tremors started. Azula slipped and the boy cried as they fell, but Azula caught both of them with one hand on the ledge. She gritted her teeth as she had grabbed wrong and her wrist had made a sickening noise, but she was able to keep holding on despite the pain, so at least it wasn't broken. The boy was now sobbing into her clothes, soaking the front, and Azula had a hard time keeping him firmly in grip, a good grip on the ledge while the ground shock underneath them, and also ignore the pain shooting through her arm. A flash of gold past her by and the avatar took the boy and flew into the window. Azula rolled her eyes; a quake like this could destroy the side of a cliff all of them should head toward the village.

Azula swung her body so that her good wrist now held firm, though her other gave out just as another firm quake rocked the temple. She gasped but kept holding tight. She just had to keep holding on until the tremors stopped and then she could drag herself up and scurry across back to the window. She was surprised when she felt two skinny but muscular arms grab her around the waist and drag her into the air over their shoulder.

"Aly-upe," sang the Avatar happily as he directed his glider through the open window. The tremors stopped a second after they were safely inside.

"You bitch!" was all the warning Azula had before Katara struck her across the cheek. "How could you, do you know how hurt he is, just because he's a fire bender doesn't mean you get to terrorize him!"

"I didn't terrorize him because he's a fire bender, I terrorized him so that he wouldn't kill himself," said Azula feeling the place she had been struck tentatively, she worked her jaw a little.

"Is that how you treat the kids under your guide? You shouldn't be let in a ten mile radius of children if that's how you treat them!" Katara turned on her heels and picked up the boy in one swoop and was out in a flash. The rest slowly started leaving.

"Saki," said Azula watching them all leave with the same resignation.

"Yeah?" asked Saki, her voice holding a tone that Azula couldn't quite piece apart and didn't really want to.

"The next time that you ask my help, could you please make sure there are no unnecessary witnesses?" said Azula, almost sounding reasonable. Saki sighed.

"You knew they were there, couldn't you have used another method to get him out?" asked Saki.

"The only option was leaving him there until he fell asleep or until he came back on his own," said Azula, she heard the noon bell. She wasn't hungry, so she might as well go catch up on her reading. Or find Gato so that they could practice tomorrow's lesson.

"Yeah, but we thought you could think of another way then that," said Saki, still in relatively high spirits. "Perhaps you should apologize to the avatar and his friends and of course the boy."

"I did think of something else, you just didn't like the other way that I came up with," said Azula, she headed into her room and started looking for the scrolls she wanted, also taking out an old brown bag. "I don't see what I have to apologize for."

"We were looking for a _better_ way to get him off the side of temple," said Saki with a sigh from her door.

"Yes, well, imagine if I had just gone with the second option, he might have fallen from his perch to his death," she started shoving the scrolls into the bag.

"Or he might have fallen and Aang might have caught him, and the kid would not be emotionally traumatized," said Saki moving as Azula rushed by her.

"It doesn't matter, you asked for my help and I gave it, I do not regret what's already in the past!" said Aula firmly, growing sick of the conversation. It they didn't like the way she did things they should have never asked for her help.

"Don't you regret anything you've done, isn't there something in your past that if you could turn back time you could change?" demanded Saki, Azula froze and pursed her lips together.

"I'm going down to the lake to read, I'll be there all afternoon. I won't be here for afternoon lessons, but after the display this morning I wouldn't think you'd want me watching kids anyway, now if you'll excuse me," said Azula, her voice still clipped and her anger audible in her voice. At the moment she didn't think that she would get much reading done, she needed meditation, and while she couldn't fire bend she could still practice her moves as long as she mixed it with others she had learned.

Saki just watched her go. Her eyes resigned and sad.

----

Azula stalked down the hall. It was early morning and by the next bell her class would start. Training the young air benders for the morning. She had gotten a lecture for skipping out yesterday, when she had demanded what they thought of what she had done to get that boy away from the ledge, Elder Tuk had answered that they always known she used questionable means to get the kids to follow her lead, but as long as they were happy they didn't have much choice but to keep her as their teacher. They just said had reinforced the idea that the avatar, or at least his girlfriend, was allowed nowhere near her when she was teaching.

Azula stopped outside the door. This was the hall that the avatar and his friends were staying in. She was pretty sure that this was the door she wanted. She knocked. The door opened and a small boy with thin glasses opened the door. He looked up at her and froze, and then moved so she could come into the room.

She stepped in briskly and took in everything. The room was rather bare, even for a child that would be bought up on the ideals of an air bender. Nothing was on the floor; in fact the room was immaculate. She looked around and saw that a sleeve was poking out of one drawer. Besides that she saw two scrolls shoved into a dark corner. There was a small boomerang on the side table and a figurine carved out of some animals tooth on the window sill.

"You don't have to stand have to stand so far away from me boy," said Azula not looking at him.

"Katara said that I'm not allowed to be near you," said the boy sniffling a little.

"No," said Azula while turning around to face the boy. "I don't suppose she would want me near you."

The kid looked uncomfortable under her stare and shifted a little from foot to foot. Azula was almost impressed, the boy hadn't run to get Katara or screamed when he had seen her. He had even closed the door behind her. He seemed to be waiting for something. Azula became a little suspicious.

"You were brought up under a firm hand," she whisper.

"My mom, she didn't like it when…" the boy looked sad, Azula sighed. She knew very few people who didn't have mother problems. But what about the boy's father? Azula sighed, it wasn't her place. She moved forward and while the boy squirmed he only flinched a little when she reached out and gently touched his forehead. Her eyes widened and she cursed only making him shake a little.

"You're burning up, is the Fire Lord going to start teaching you today then?" asked Azula.

"No! I don't want to learn fire bending!" the boy screamed. Azula grabbed his shoulder and ducked to his height while forcing him to look at her.

"This is not something you get to choose Jet. You're burning up! You don't understand. Fire benders are not like other benders. I'm not saying they're better, but they are different! While the other benders draw their power only from the outside while possessing the power to do so within them, we are born with a certain fire inside of us. While some of our power may come from the sun, and we can borrow fire outside sources, our true fire is born from inside of us. We can't ignore it like the other benders could. If we don't use that power and then learn to harness it then our power will kill us. It will literally eat you from the inside out. Is that what you want boy? To be killed by the fire that is inside you?" asked Azule her voice firm.

"Maybe, maybe that will make up for all the things I've done wrong. Maybe wherever mom is she won't have to look at me with those eyes anymore," he was starting to cry anymore.

"Whatever she told you, whatever she couldn't accept about you, that is not your fault, it is her own weakness and you should not have to carry that burden," Azula's voice was firm and final. "She is no longer the person who looks after you. You now are looked after by your adopted parents and the avatar, they will love you, but they will be proud of you when you can control all this hate you have inside of you and learn to accept who you are."

"My mother gave her life to protect me," the boy said.

"She loved you, but now you must live and die for yourself. She died so you could live on and make a life of your own, I will not let you squander it. Being a fire bender does not make you evil, what you do with that power is what will define you. Now, I'll hear no more protesting, you are coming with me to the training grounds and you're going to be taught with the other kids, except this will be fire bending instead. Don't look at me that way; I learned the basics where I was trained. Though eventually you'll have to take lessons from someone who actually is a fire bender."

"But…" said Jet, Azula sighed.

"Listen kid, no one is going to be disappointed that you are able to accept yourself, and that you are doing something that will not only guarantee your life but other it could hear if you don't control it lash out of control. Well, some people may look down on you, but no one who matters will, you're family and your friends won't, just be truthful upfront, am I understood?" asked Azula, he nodded and she let go of his chin. "Good, now come on, we've only got a few minutes until the bell."

"You always start so early?" Azula rose an eyebrow, he sounded happy about this. She sighed, give him a few years, he wouldn't be so happy about it then.

"Yes, don't look so happy about it," said Azula, they left the room, a door two doors across slid closed abruptly, Azula squinted in that direction, but didn't try to go see who it was. They were leaving her along; she might as well return the favor. "Hey, kid, what was it like living at the North Pole?"

"It was fun, I mean, it helped a lot with the heat," said the boy with a shrug.

"When you felt so hot the cold actually helped you to suppress your fire bending?" asked Azula, interesting, but plausible.

"Hmhm, after Pakku took me to the North Pole I noticed that it got a little too hot on the trip, but the South Pole cooled down my skin a little," he then looked serious. "I really didn't start feeling unbearably hot until they sent me with the avatar."

"So, they didn't know you were a fire bender?" asked Azula, he shock is head.

"They would have never adopted me if they knew," he said sadly.

"Well, no more hiding from it, go stand with the other kids," said Azula, her class coming into a line and standing at attention. They knew better then to ask her why she was late by now. She smirked and soon had them all practicing, including the boy.

-----

The day continued on. She concentrated on teaching the kids to do that floating thing on top of a giant air bubble, which was a technique that really needed a name. She watched in mild interest as Gato went around correcting and saving some of the more incompetent little ones, and keeping a slightly wary eye on Jet. She'd have to talk to him about that. Jet was too afraid of his own fire to notice the looks he was getting, but as soon as he mastered this first exercise she was sure that he would be more aware of his surroundings. Plus, the ones after that were more bringing the fire out into the open; this one was just about finding it and culturing it into a small visible flame. It was old, her father had basically banned it, for reasons she couldn't remember. It was supposed to be as ancient as the fire people.

The oddest thing about today was that she didn't see her shadow. Had he been that disgusted by what she had done, by the personality and cruelty that she was able to wield? She tried to shrug it off, she didn't care what that water peasant thought of her. But she had grown used to his constant presence, without it, she felt like something was missing. Which was ridiculous because she was pretty sure what she missed the most was the constant chatter, which didn't make sense because these kids were anything but quiet.

"Alright, everyone fall in!" shouted Azula. The air benders all came whizzing and limping their way over. "That includes you too Jet, and tomorrow I expect to see actual effort on your part."

The air benders all giggled. Jet blushed and kicked a stray rock.

"And Gurlong, I expect you to not show off, I'd rather not try to explain to the Master why your brains are splattered all over the wall," they all fell into even more giggles and even Jet joined in. Gurlong bumped him and got bumped back, the two boys smiled at each other. At least the brat was good at making friends.

"Who the hell let you take charge?" asked Gato coming up besides her. Azula spared him a glare and a jab in the gut.

"Don't swear near the children," she said to the kid's giggles. "Now I want you all to play catch, the only one allowed to use his hands is Jet. And Jet, no trying to burn anything yet you can't even summon fire properly."

"Yeah!" the kids cried and started to puff the ball into the air. They ran after it, all jumping in the air. Gato looked shocked and looked over to her.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked, Azula glanced over to him and glared.

"I'm fine, they're allowed fun every once in a while. They're air benders, they don't have that great of attention spans, plus we're in a time of peace, no reason to work them like soldiers. And stop smiling at me like that," Azula continued to glare, wondering idly when the tables had turned on her and she started getting aggravated by the boy. Maybe around the time she had started thinking him as a friend.

"Well, I'm going to referee, why don't you try to get some rest?" he went and started playing with them. Azula rolled her eyes but made to leave.

"Excuse me," the voice was curt and soft. Azula felt her breath catch. No, she had promised. "Excuse me, but would a boy named Jet be here?"

"Who's asking?" demanded Azula bitterly. She glared over at the woman. It was her mother, she could tell, her clothes were a bit different, and her hair shorter, Azula wondered why, why had her vision of her mother changed, made her mother older? It didn't matter, she was back after she had promised, she couldn't come back just because Azula was starting to find happiness, starting to move past her old life even though it kept trying to find her again.

"His guardians," was the reply, though she seemed a little concerned.

"You mean the guardians he has for the moment," snapped Azula and then turned. "Jet!"

The boy looked confused for a second and then ran over to them.

"I have to go back, don't I?" asked the boy sadly.

"No use pouting over it. Come on, let's get you back to the water girl before she blows up," said Azula with a sigh, she waved to Gato who smiled sadly and nodded. "'Cause everyone would knows that a tragedy that would be."

"You know, you could be nicer to Jet, he's a sweet boy," said Ursa gently.

"I like Katara, most of the time, she plays with water with me," said Jet skipping a little. Azula ignored the disapproving sad look her mother sent them. She didn't need to show her truly insane side to Jet when she had just gained his trust. "Though, she does give really long lectures and makes me eat my vegetables."

"Eat your vegetables, it will help you go strong so you can go out and crush your enemies," said Azula. Jet giggled, and she blinked and looked down on the boy. She smiled a little.

"A little intense, but the boy seems to like you," said her mother. Azula clenched her fists into a tight fist.

"So, Jet…" she started as she walked into the other room, she froze as she saw them all there, Katara was yelling at Saki who looked a little stressed.

"There you are Jet, what did I tell you about Azi?" scolded the boy grabbing him hard enough to bruise.

"But, she said she'd teach me how to control my fire bending," whined Jet.

"Zuko can teach you, he's an actual fire bender!" said katara.

"He's a horrible teacher, aunty Ursa could teach me better then he could," whined Jet pointing back to Azula's mother. Azula looked at the woman in surprise.

"Who?"

"This is my mother, Azi," said Zuko walking toward her to make a formal introduction. He stopped in confusion at her panicked face.

Azula turned and took a good look at the woman. She gulped compulsively. No, she couldn't be here. Not in the flesh, but then again, her brother had always loved his mother, so he must have used all resources to find her after he became Fire Lord.

"I'm sorry," she said in a panic and fled. She would not face this woman. Not the woman who claimed to love her and then looked at her with those unforgiving eyes.

"Azi!" cried Saki and followed with a quick word to the avatar and his friends. "Azi."

Azula shut her door in Saki's face; she couldn't deal with the girl now. She couldn't lie to her, and yet Saki would force her to tell her what was wrong.

"Azi," said Saki coming up to her and sitting next to her where Azula had thrown herself face first onto the bed. She put a hand on her back, which Azula tried to shrug off. "Come on Azi, don't be this way, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing, it's just that, when I saw her, she looked so much like my mother," her voice choked, but she fought it back. "Except for the hair, and face, and clothes."

"So nothing looked like your mother, but you thought she was?" asked Saki lightly. Azula scowled and turned so her back was facing Saki. The air bender sighed and hugged her loosely.

"I'm sorry, I do get what you mean, believe it or not," said Saki. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Leave," said Azula sharply. Saki sighed but stood and left, shutting the door behind her. Azula curled up on herself and cried, unable to stop the flow of tears that forced themselves out.

----

"What happened?" asked Katara when Saki came back. The air bender sighed and resigned herself to the explanation. This was their first exposure to one of Azi's breakdowns, and this one hadn't even been real.

"I told you before that Azi saw visions, right?" asked Saki awkwardly, the others nodded. "One of her visions was of her mother, though I thought she was gone by now. Anyway, I guess at a first glance, Madam, you looked like her mother. She just freaked a little over the scare."

"So, one second, she actually see's things that aren't there at all, as in, not even from the spirit world?" asked Sokka looking a little freaked out. Saki just smiled awkwardly and shrugged.

"Cool," said Jet, Saki smiled, that tended to be the kids reactions when they found out.

"One second, her mother disappeared?" asked Ursa. Saki blinked at the question.

"Yes, um, I have a theory that when someone in away replaces the one who haunts her, the person disappears. I somehow replaced her mother and her friends. She puts way too much pressure on me sometimes," said Saki with a life.

"Did she lose her mother?" asked Zuko.

"No, her mother either thought she was or Azi just thinks she thought she was monster. She never really got closure, so she saw her mother everywhere with other people who haunt her dreams," said Saki with a sigh.

"No mother could think of her own daughter as a monster," said Ursa reverently.

"You'd be surprised," said Jet with a frown.

"You are too young to be that cynical," said Saki pointing a warning finger at Jet.  
"And before you ask any more questions, I'm going to have to decline. This is really Azi's business, and if you want any answers you'll have to get them from her from now on. Have a good night."

Saki bowed herself out of the room. She left with a small sigh hoping that she had done the right thing. She didn't want Azi to come off as insane, but she couldn't deny that that was exactly what her friend was. Still, there was something that was pulling at her brain. She knew that something was wrong, she wasn't sure what it was, but something just didn't settle right with her. It had been something that Azi had said, she was sure. But what had the girl done but freak out? It would be nice if Azi was more straight forward. For someone who couldn't tell reality from fantasy, she sure knew how to keep a secret. Still, she trusted Azi, she kept secrets, but if something happened that was more important than the secret then Azi would tell her. Like she had shown that she was a fire bender in order to save them all, in order to save the town. Saki sighed, right, she just had to trust.

She wasn't getting much sleep that night.

Author's End Notes: Alright, I'm starting to think a head since Coming Fate is coming to an end by chapter 22, and I plan to, this vacation to get down to it and finish it. So, I'm stuck between five new fics and I need some direction. So… I'm starting a pole that will end at the end of Coming Fate. The description of each new fic is at the end of my profile. No, I won't end this fic, this fic is done, I'm just annoying and waiting two weeks to upload each chapter because I'm evil. Please help! Thank you!


	11. Apologize for NonSymmetry

Author's Notes: The poll is still open people, voting in it will not stop this fic from continuing to update every two weeks. Oh, And Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

"Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave). I don't own any of the songs in any of these chapters or the one that gave the fic it's name. Look at who's it by to find that information.

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

Apologize for Non-Symmetry by Chronic Future

Chapter Eleven

Apologize for Non-Symmetry

Aang had found the spot where the spirit world was closest to theirs within the first hour. It was near the base of the mountain where the lake met a cave. They had been there for just over a week and nothing had happened beyond that. The spirit refused to directly meet and speak with Aang. The avatar had offered it everything he could think of, had tried to reason with the spirit just by talking in the most potent area, and had even had Zuko sit there and try to talk to air. The Fire Lord had done so, looking uncomfortable and then freaked out as the earth once again started to shake.

Aang had decided from then on that Zuko was the perfect one to try and appease the spirit. Something was off with the spirit, well not so much off, as just more intense. All Aang could tell was that this spirit was not just a local spirit; it represented something much greater than that. Sokka had heard their story and surprisingly enough had hit the books, looking for something that could explain why the spirit besides the obvious. Which was probably better then Aang who was just guessing what the problem was and having an awkward Zuko try all sorts of ways to try and appease the spirit.

"So, how'd today go?" asked Katara watching as both groups came into mess cabin.

"Nothing, the spirit didn't make any movements, not even in protest, it's like it gave us a clue as to what is wrong, but now I'm not going the right way to solve it," whined Aang.

"Does this mean I can get back to the paper work Lou sent me?" asked Zuko dryly. Toph rapped the boy firmly on his back.

"This is your vacation, you're not supposed to be doing work," she said loudly.

"I am taking a vacation. This is just paper work. Boring as hell, but it needs to be done. I don't have any meetings or people I have to meet so it is a vacation. Or it would be, if the avatar didn't keep dragging me to the damn cave," said Zuko, glaring at Aang, the avatar smiled awkwardly and giggled in a self damning way. The Fire Lord sighed and returned back to his meat.

"Hello everyone!" sang Sokka sitting down.

"Did you learn anything?" asked Katara, guessing wrong why he was in such a good mood.

"Nope, guess who's back!" he said as Azi sat next to him. Katara sighed at her brothers antics. She blinked when the half of their table that was usually left opened was occupied by one of the hunting groups, all of them talking together in excitement. That's right, when Sokka had asked them where Azi was the air bender had told them that the girl had gotten permission to go on a hunt with the group.

"So, your hunt went well?" asked Katara to the rough looking boy next to her.

"Hell yes," said the boy happily.

"Hey, give credit where credit is due Rue," said a boy with a clothe headband, he looked like their leader. "We couldn't have done so well without Azi. Here's to you girl. You might look like a delicate little thing but give you a weapon and I think you could give the best archer a run for his money!"

There was a large amount of cheering and loud voices of celebration. Aang seemed torn whether to join the happy little bubble of young men were in or to be disappointed that anyone could celebrate over causing the death of a living being. Katara smiled at him and rubbed his hand, she glanced over to where Azi was sitting next to her brother. She wasn't sure what to make of the girl. Jet refused to be taught by anyone but her. He had practiced getting a small flame into his hands only because Azi had promised not to tell him anymore hints on how to do so. He had been angry when Zuko had tried to give him advice, and had screamed and thrown tantrums after he had learned and Katara had asked Zuko in his spare time to try and take over Azi's lessons.

When she asked the boy why he wanted the girl as his teacher, Jet had told her it was because Azi understood him and hadn't let him down so far. He was angry that she was gone, but apparently Azi had told him of her intentions to leave. The interesting thing was that while she had been only gone five days, Katara had time to calm down and realize that the girl was more than just a charity case to these people. She might be temperamental and unstable, but she had done something that had gained respect (if not fear) from the people who lived in the temple.

But she was still worried about Jet.

"So, Azi," said Katara absently, hoping that the girl would listen to her if she used her name. Azi titled her head to the side but didn't look up. "Jet, under the Fire Lord's presence learned that flame thing that you were trying to get him to do." The girl stiffened and looked angrily at her food. Katara stiffened, and then relaxed, people showed their disappointment and sadness in different ways. "Yesterday he choose to spend a half an hour running around, sneaking, and generally finding anything flammable and lighting a fire to it."

"What?" growled Azi, and then backed off, looking at her food in a way that Katara was surprised it didn't grow legs and scuttle away for fear.

"I think he thought it would bring you back faster," explained Katara. Azi blinked, obviously unsure of how to proceed. Azi looked over at Sokka for help. He seemed just as lost as to what Katara was getting at. "Listen, I think you'd be the best teacher for him. He likes you, and after that first demonstration you obviously don't let him get away with much. The Elders told me it was best to leave you with the kid and to not ask questions. Plus, Soka follows you around all morning, so I'm sure it won't get out of hand."

"As long as he doesn't mention what I do to the kid for his tantrum," muttered the girl. Katara bristled, but forced herself to relax. She wanted this for Jet; she wanted him to have something. He was miserable, more so with his fire bending.

"Hey, you're back Azi?" asked Saki squeezing herself next to her friend. Azula glanced at her and then narrowed her eyes.

"You haven't been sleeping," she stated, everyone at the table froze.

"Why? Have you been getting weird dreams, what are they about, maybe the spirits giving us another clue!" said Aang, looking a little sleep deprived himself.

"No, nothing like that," said Saki looking a little taken back.

"You haven't got any more leads have you?" asked Azula with a smirk.

"We know that Zuko isn't the only thing the spirit is upset with. Plus with every failure we come that much closer to finding the answer," said Sokka happily. Azula looked dully at the boy and then sighed at him.

"I could have told you the thing about the Fire Lord," said Azula crossly. "The weird elemental attacks started happening before he came. And don't tell me that it was complaining about him all the way from here. This has got to be, at the moment, one of the most secluded places that I've ever been to."

"Maybe the spirit started the fires because you came here. You said that you were brought up in a place that taught fire and earth benders to fight in the war, and your eyes suggest that you have some fire kingdom heritage running through your blood," said Aang. "Maybe the fire was not only to drive anyone here but to tell you that someone it disapproved was coming."

"Oh joy, let's give the people an actual reason to throw me out of the village," muttered Azula stabbing at her soup. Saki gripped her hand, and Azula sighed trying to ignore the avatar.

"So when Zuko came it decided to start showing its irritation in a new way, as if knowing that the Fire Kingdom needs to make some sort of apology," Aang seemed to think deeply on this.  
"Yeah, that has to be it. Ok, let's start have you go with…"

"No," bit off Azula sharply. She was not getting dragged into being around her brother anymore than necessary. If anyone would be able to tell who she was, it was him; he had known her the longest. "Listen, I'm not coming with you today, because I'm tired and I want to do a few exercises and then just fall back on a bed and sleep. I'm not going with you tomorrow because I've got brats to watch, and I need time in the afternoon to settle. Some of us have to worry about staying sane and keeping themselves that way."

"But, I am…"

"Baseless guesses don't count," said Azula with a small glare. "You give actual proof that what you just said has any bases of reason then I'll help you. Until then, I'm going to be trying to do what I usually do. If you losers will excuse me?"

Azula left. It was best to alienate the avatar and his friends. She didn't want them getting to close, the closer they got to her the more chance there would be of finding out who she was.

"You mind if I join you?" Azula tensed but let go of a shaking breath.

"And why, pray tell, would the Fire Lord want to join me?" asked Azula stiffly.

"You're going to practice your um.." Zuko seemed to sense the hostility coming from Azula. The former Fire Kingdom princess sighed and ignored him. Apparently he took this as an invitation. Azula sighed stiffly.

"Why are you still following me?" asked Azula with barely restrained annoyance.

"You didn't say I couldn't," he said awkwardly. "Do you mind mostly working on the ones you learned from the people from the fire nation? That way I can get in practice, I've let things go a little because of all the turmoil."

"Shouldn't you try and follow people who dote on you?" asked Azula, ignoring the second thing he said. She rather not have to leave simply because she lost patience with her brother and burned him to a crisp. You'd think that for someone now drowning in the political world and all its undermined tricks that he would have known that she was lying about her past. That had been one of the worst lies she had ever told, though told in the same calm tone that she always delivered her lies in.

"I spent most of my life trying to act better then the people who were either trying to look after me, or truly had a reason to think that I… I just believe that sometimes the ones that can teach you the most are the ones who don't treat me with any sort of reverence that other people do simply because of my station," admitted the Fire Lord. Azula rolled her eyes. Her brother was going to be lucky to live the next year.

Azula breathed in, and then out. Taking the steps quickly to head toward the lake and to an open spot she liked to practice on. She thought back on all the rulers she had ever met. There had been weak ones that allowed others to control them. There were ones that treated their subjects with respect. She thought back to Bummy, and his people. They had fought until the bitter end and beyond for their home. They couldn't be swayed like the Di-Lei had. She thought about how things were run here, how Saki had so much power when she had no experience, but plenty of heart. Azula wasn't admitting that she was wrong, that she had tried to go about ruling wrong. But perhaps her madness had made her make some undesirable decisions. In some cases building an actual friendly communication would work better then threats and manipulation.

"Azi?"

"What if I work with the sword?" she asked abruptly.

"I would be honored to see someone Master Tuk speaks so highly of at work," said Zuko with a fire nation bow. Well, at least her brother knew how to sweet talk someone.

"Whatever," muttered Azula turning her back in one more ditch to hope he got the message. He didn't and soon she was in her spot. Her movements gracefully flowed together and her brother following her so closely that it looked like they had studied the same exercise together as students to the same master.

"You know," said her brother with a small chuckle. "It's interesting, you used to be so good at lying and reading people, now you can't even tell when someone's figured you out."

"What are you talking about?" asked Azula, her body tensing.

"We know who you really are Azula," said Zuko, Azula kept smoothly going through her movements. Her brother followed right along.

"I have no idea…"

"Drop it Azula, you think we can't figure out who you are just because you have that new hair style? Kinda reminds me of your fire actually," Azula turned toward her brother and glared at him, trying to replicate the superior look that she had held all her life.

"So, what are you going to do?" she demanded of her brother. She stood tall and ready to attack.

"We can't let you stay here Azula," said her brother seriously. "You're dangerous, now more than ever before ironically. I'd suggest that you'd come quietly. We'll give these a people why you had to leave. But Aang needs you to apologize to the spirit and then come back with me."

"What happened to me and dad being able to find away to find the right path?" demanded Azula.

"You think I can't see that you haven't changed your outlook on life?" demanded Zuko, Azula looked at him stubbornly. "I don't know what kind of operation you've started or think you can start. But I know that you've done something besides just proven you're crazy. I've been down the village, the others more so. They don't trust you. They won't talk about you but to say a few scathing comments. That's probably the only thing that is keeping you from trying anything major here. No, little sister, it's time for you to come back home and continue your sentence in prison. Perhaps I have you see a mind healer because even I don't think you could fool everyone so perfectly. But then, when it comes to it I can never been sure, you very well could be faking."

"The reason I stay here is because of Saki," said Azula once again starting to go through her movements. Zuko blinked but started copying her. "Though, don't worry I did think of killing you, but if I did that I could never lie when Saki asked me. So you stay alive."

"That's a little hard to believe," scoffed Zuko. "No one ever stopped you from getting what you wanted before. Especially your friends. No, I think before you destroy all the air benders, or whatever your goal is, I will remove you."

"What happened to forgiveness?" asked Azula harshly, trying to appeal to the bleeding heart she knew her brother was.

"Do you know how much you've put me, my kingdom, the world?" asked Zuko with a sneer. "I'm not an idiot; you've been this evil since you were a small child. You smiled when grandfather was killed. You smiled and teased me when grandfather sentenced my death. No Azula, after all you've done, you're beyond forgiveness."

"What if I disposed of you?" asked Azula in a last ditch to find some reason to stop him. "I could kill you, it was my intention since the moment I melted those bars and headed out of that prison."

"I'm not the only one who knows Azula, do you really want to add to your sins?" asked the Fire Lord, scorn showing his eyes as he looked at her. "Plus, do you really think you can defeat me? While you still can fight with your hands and a sword, I bet it's been a while since you've really fire bent. Do you really think you can defeat me now?"

"Shut up," said Azula turning around, she clenched her fists intending to… "Fire Lord Zuko!"

"I'm sorry," her brother said sheepishly. "I didn't mean to sneak up on you. Who were you talking to?"

"Did you hear anything?" demanded Azula, slightly panicked.

"No, the rocks drowned you out, are you okay?" he asked looking concerned.

"What are you doing here?" asked Azula, anger lacing her tone. Zuko looked uncomfortable but pulled himself together quickly.

"I remembered you said you'd trained somewhere you learned moves similar to those of the Fire Nation, I was hoping that you'd let me join you," said Zuko calmly. Azula blinked and turned to the side.

"Well sis," asked the other Zuko. "What's going to be your answer this time?"

Azula turned to the side and started her steps again. The Fire Lord blinked and started following her while her ghost brother continued to copy her glaring a disdainfully in her direction. She faltered in her steps and then stopped.

"Is something the matter Azi?"

"Yes Azula, is something the matter, or are you finally going to confess the mistake you've made and apologize to that spirit for disturbing it?"

"I have to go," she said breathlessly.

"What's wrong?" asked the Fire Lord but she ran past him and started to sprint up the steps. Neither boy tried to follow her.

------

"It's a special time, hardly anyone will eat in the mess tonight," came Saki's voice from the main room where a feast had been set. Azula was following her nose, her eyes half closed as she had just woken from a long nap when she had fallen to her bed after the encounter with the two Zuko's.

The former fire princess walked in to see benches set up in an angular U. The back was facing her and she could see that the avatar and his friends were all sitting there. She forgot what the celebration was for. She didn't really care either. She sighed and walked forward. She hoped that her outburst had done more than just embarrass herself in front of her brother, that it actually been the second one that had been real. Because no matter what she did she could not rationalize two of her brothers. She hoped that meant she was becoming more sane. Which pissed her off more, now she was…

"Azi, are you alright?" Azula's eyes snapped up to meet her mother's. Ursa was looking at her worriedly. Azula tensed and tried to not glare at the woman. She didn't want to look suspicious after all. Ursa seemed to look guilty and Azula wondered if Saki had explained what she knew to them. If that was the case, maybe the avatar and his friends did know who she really was and they were just waiting right time to expose her. She didn't know how much she had told her friend that night. She did know that she hadn't told her that she had been the Fire Princess; she doubted that Saki would have taken her back to the village if that had been the case.

"Azi, stop spacing out!" shouted Saki right near her ear. Azula flinched and glared at her friend who just took her by the sleeve and sat her next to her mother with a giggle.

"What is she doing?" asked Azula watching her friend head over to the other air benders closer to her friend.

"I think she's trying to help," said Ursa softly. She smiled motherly at Azi, who only tensed and turned her head away from her mother. She and Saki were going to have a serious discussion about why trying to fix things with someone who 'wasn't actually her mother' was a bad idea. Ursa didn't press for information and spoke to her son easily on the other side of her. Which just made her more angry, she did not need her mother to pick Zuko over her even when she didn't know who she was.

"Azi?" asked Saki getting right into Azula's face. Azula twitched a little and looked bored into her eyes.

"Yes?"

"Talk to her," she prompted.

"No," Azula said duly. Saki tried to glare at her friend.

"Did you eat something bad?" asked the avatar coming up next to Saki. Azula let loose a few giggles. The avatar backed away from the now air wielding air bender. Suddenly the whole group of air benders started to join in, they were forced out by many irritate Elders; a few that could do air bending themselves.

"Well, that was interesting," said Zuko watching them leave with a small blink of surprise. Ursa giggled.

"They are very interesting," her mother commented. Azula decided to ignore both of them. She noticed that her mother seemed to be playing with hair, running a hand through dark tresses. She reached forward suddenly and took the thing in her hand. It was a small earth kingdom doll. She held it away from her suddenly in surprise. Why would her mother have this after such a long time? No, that wasn't right, the last one her uncle had given her she had set it afire. Azula absently stroked the things head -- lost her in her confusion and thoughts.

"Azi?" asked Ursa, looking at the girl in surprise. Azula glanced up at her and then down at the doll.

"You're a bit old to have a doll aren't you?" asked Azula with a small chuckle she threw the thing back her mother. "I'll catch you guys later; I think I'm going to hit the hay."

Azula ignored the fact that she had just come from sleeping. Perhaps she'd just get some reading in.

----

It was later when Saki was walking down the halls while apologizing to Ursa about sticking Azi to her. Ursa shook her head and said she knew that she thought it was sweet that Saki was trying to help her friend, but the only one who could really help Azi get over her mother was if she met her mother and the woman explained the way she had acted. Besides that it would probably be best if the girl wasn't around someone who brought up painful memories.

Ursa stopped abruptly. So did Saki, but a second later to see what was wrong with Ursa. The woman looked from side to side as if looking for something. Saki looked around as well, and turned to ask what it was the woman thought she felt, or whatever, only to find she was gone and that the door to Azi's room was closing. Saki blinked in surprise and caught the door and watched the woman continue to walk toward Azi.

Azi at the moment was curled into a tight ball and was whimpering. Saki leaned against the wall; Azi hardly had a night where her dreams weren't disturbed with nightmares. At least she no longer woke up the moment that someone walked into the room. Then again, most times she didn't wake up she was beyond exhausted. Ursa sat next to the girl and removed the scrolls that were scattered around the blue haired girl and put them away delicately. Ursa then turned back to Azi and carefully put the blanket over her and slipped a doll into her embrace. The amazing thing was that Azi stayed asleep through the whole thing, Saki could tell. Not only that but the bad dream seemed gone and the girl had calmed down, which was something that Saki had never been able to accomplish. They both left the room trying to be as quiet as possible.

----

Zuko woke up, he blinked and shivered. He was exhausted, and needless to say he was sure he was going to do what Azi did and tell Aang that when he actually figured out what was going on then he could use him in whatever ritual he needed. This last one hadn't even made sense, and Zuko had to come back to his room and stay up late antagonizing over the paperwork that needed his attention and that the assistance (ones that he now trusted) were not qualified to do for him. Some required polite declines. At least he could make the excuse over the air kingdom, people were a little less offended if he said he was trying to fix somewhere that was not his own kingdom. Which was weird, because all they wanted the Fire Nation to do when they were in the war was to get the hell out. Now that it was over all they seemed to do was demand that the Fire Nation help them fix everything up.

But back to the problem at hand, what had woken him up? And what was that cool thin tingle of metal against his neck? Zuko moved suddenly, and the person holding the knife to his neck moved back rapidly. Zuko found himself looking up at Azi, she held a knife loosely in her hands and blinking awkwardly at the boy.

"Azi?" he asked, a little confused.

She blinked again and then seemed to come to herself a little. She looked back between him and her knife. After what felt like an hour she just stood there and slowly lifted her head to the freaked out Fire Lord.

"Here," she said, holding the knife to him hilt first not.

"What?" asked Zuko, he had to still be in a dream, this was just messed up.

"You like things from the Earth Kingdom right?" Zuko nodded his head. "This knife is from the Earth Kingdom, it even has a neat engraving on the blade. So, yeah, this is now yours."

Zuko looked a little unsure, but took the knife from the girl. She just stared at him for another minute and then left.

Zuko sat back on the bed that had been provided for him and tried to figure out what had happened. Nothing came to mind so he just curled up and went back to sleep. Though right before he fell asleep he had to wonder if he had actually seen Azi clutching at the Earth Kingdom doll that she had looked at during dinner.


	12. A Dangerous Mind

Author Notes: "Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants."

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave). I don't any of the songs either.

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

A Dangerous Mind by Within Temptation

Chapter Twelve

A Dangerous Mind

"Azi!" shouted Saki cutting off Sokka as he continued to try and break Azula's eardrums with his incessant talking. Azula looked over to her friend while Sokka huffed. What did he expect? He never shut up, there wasn't a time that someone could try and talk to Azula without breaking into one of Sokka's long winded tales, punctuated by complaining and rants.

"What is it?" asked Azula, she felt a little uneasy when she saw her friends expression.

"Did you really do that?" asked Saki. Azula looked her friend with a raised eyebrow. She then saw Zuko sigh in exasperation.

"Do what? I've done allot of things, obviously nothing worthy of praise, but I'm no mind reader," said Azula, something nagged at her.

"Or a saint," said Saki with a smile and then frowned again. "Did you really try to kill Zuko last night?"

Azula looked in shock. She glanced at her brother who took the dagger she had taken from one of her attackers out. She had planned on pawning it off, but the first chance she got in a city her face had been plastered everywhere. Still, why did Zuko have it, did it have anything to do with that weird dream the other night? She glanced over to her mother. She hadn't killed her, so her mother must have given her the doll, or she just didn't remember stealing it from her.

"Azi," insisted Saki, Azula concentrated back on the air bender, ignoring the looks that she was getting from the avatars friends.

"I don't remember, I remember the movements, but I don't remember if I had meant to kill him," she probably shouldn't have sounded so amused, but the former fire princess couldn't help but find some amusement in the situation. She was allowed that once in awhile she was sure.

"You were holding a knife to my throat," said the Fire Lord dryly. Azula just shrugged.

"But I don't remember what inspired that, if my thoughts were malicious or not," said Azula with a shrug, telling the truth.

"She's telling the truth," commented the earth bender digging greedily into her meal.

"I'm a very accomplished liar," said Azula, smiling nostalgically.

"Yes, but I am the perfect lie detector," said Toph confidently. Azula was sure that under the table the earth benders feet were squibbling across the floor.

"I am a pretty pink princess who believes in the tooth elk and world peace, oh and I have horns on the top of my head," said Azula dully.

"Wow, she is good," Azula smiled, that was so worth it.

"World peace has been obtained," said the avatar strongly.

"There's still strife between countries and the odd underground uprising. Plus, you haven't solved every dispute in the world, I'm sure there are still cruel people who suppress whoever they can get their hands on," said Azula, she was not going to sugarcoat the world for the happy-go-lucky avatar. Some people were born evil, it was just that way, you couldn't excuse everyone's actions away, not unless you wanted to end up dead.

"Ah, but when you said that you could have been talking about just general world peace," said Katara, trying to sound smart. The water bender still drove Azula up a wall; it was something about her personality that set her off.

"Yeah, yeah," cut in Sokka loudly near Azula's ear, she flicked some food off her cheek. "A town could have named you pretty pink princess, and well, you are insane, so you could think the tooth elf exists, but you know most people don't believe in it. You also probably, ah, imagined, yeah that's it, you imagined horns on top of your head and that's how you lied so easily."

"How'd you escape the nut house, I'd love to compare notes," said Azula with a fake smile. "For your information there's a much easier way to lie under that kind of lie detector, it's called control."

"Control? Control of what?" asked Sokka. Azula glared without venom at him.

"Of everything. Your emotions, your body," said Azula she watched as the boy dove into his food with a raised eyebrow.

"The people you know?" asked Zuko, he appeared to be scrutinizing her.

"If your with the right group of people you can't control them with anything, from bribes to threats, and for some reason they'll still want to hang out with you," she sent a look at Gato who was trying to squeeze next to Toph, he found the earth bender fascinating, she hoped he wasn't sending the wrong signals.

"Experience talking?" asked Katara, her voice judging but kind at the same time. Azula took a bite, glanced at her friends, and that's all she did for an explanation, next to her Saki was only too happy to fill in.

"Oh, you should have heard the things she asked, told, and threatened me to do, for someone who is insane she's very keen in the art of deception. She didn't do it as much to Gato, she enjoyed in tormenting him instead," said Saki with a smile.

"They seem to torment each other equally," said Sokka through a mouth full of food.

"That's because when Azi let something slip about her past he was the only one who immediately got over it. Which is a shame because he wasn't there when it was announced and Azi ended up in a cave freezing her ass off before I pulled myself together," said Saki, she looked put out.

"Why didn't Gato go find her?" asked Aang.

"Wouldn't have been the same, the only one that truly can influence what Azi does is Saki, she's very important to Azi…"

"I'm right here," said Azula with a glare.

"Why is Saki so important to you?" asked Katara, Azula glared at the water bender.

"None of your business," snapped Azula, and her friend sighed and shook her head with a small chuckle.

"We don't know," said Gato, ripping violently into some vegetables. "But the same thing applies to Saki to some degree. She looked miserable the few hours before she went and got Azi."

"Really?" asked Azula.

"Never you mind Azi," said Saki, pointing some of her food at her friend. "And you, hush."

"Hey, some people just came into a village. Ones really cute and ones really fat," said one of the more spazy girls. There was a flurry of movement that was spearheaded mostly by the girls. Something that would never change. Azula herself just hoped this would give her the afternoon free of children, though Master Tuk would probably just make her work with him more. Sighing she pushed herself from the table, leaving her plate there because everyone else had and started heading toward the flap to the temple.

"Hey, Azi, if you're not heading toward the newcomers would you help us clean up?" asked Ruk, apparently assigned kitchen duty for the day.

"Master Tuk is expecting me," she said, waving behind her. Ruk shook his bald head and started gathering the plates.

----

She had been practicing since the third bell when he came.

"Bird-nose Tuk?" asked an incredulous voice, deep and gruff.

"Iroh?" came the returned question. The two men walked quickly and embraced each other, and then broke apart and just looked over. Taking in their old friend. Azula rolled her eyes and returned to her sword movements. It wasn't her fault that they knew each other, shouldn't disturb her practice. Though she did wonder why her uncle was here. If anyone was observant enough to figure out who she was it would be him. He might act like an idiot, but in reality she knew he had a quicker wit than even her father had possessed.

"I can't believe I'd find you here!" exclaimed Iroh, stepping back to properly talk to his old friend.

"Well, I am from the old air nomads native land, it was my duty to see them begin again," said Master Tuk, and then sent a light glare in Azula's direction.

"You would think so," said Iroh with a light laugh and then looked to where his friend was looking. "And who would that bit of wild fire be?"

"That," said Master Tuk with meaning, Azi didn't even spare him a glance. "Would be my apprentice who is supposed to show respect for a master." He waited for her to turn. "Azi, come over here please. I'm sorry Iroh, she's not known for her respect."

"No troubles, I like a girl with spunk," said her uncle happily. Azi used the last few movements to cut her hair tie, letting her hair fall into across her face. As a Princess she had always had her hair in a perfect bun, she hoped that the difference would throw him enough until her identity was well rooted. "And I rather like the informality; it reminds me of my customers."

"Ah, here she is," said Tuk as Azula walked toward the two masters. "Iroh, I'd like you to meet my apprentice Azi."

Azula bowed and then looked up. Her uncle was giving her a well hidden skeptical once over. She tensed but he seemed to find something in her eyes that stopped him from expressing any doubts in her as a person.

"Is something the matter Iroh?" asked Master Tuk, Iroh's face instantly split into a welcoming smile.

"Not at all, her hair just threw me for a second, is that the new look for air benders?" asked Iroh with humor.

"No, just a bad prank," said Azi.

"If it was just a bad prank than you wouldn't still be using the dye," said Master Tuk with a smile. "Go ahead and go torment Saki, I'm sure she's missed you."

Azula bowed indulgently to her master and turned to leave. At least her uncle's presence did some good. She got to spend more time with her friends, for once not wanting to seek solitude that helped calmed her need to violently but efficiently make sure her brother would only be a memory. Now though, it didn't seem as important, now making sure she spent more time with her friend was, she was the reason she was sparing her brother after all.

"Azi!" cried Saki as Azula finally went to the top of the temple. No one had known where her friend was. She wasn't in her usually places surrounded by scrolls, talking to important Elders and the like, practicing air bending somewhere sane, or in the village. Azi was surprised to see that most people were only hesitant toward and allowed their children greet her. Though a few now looked at her with caution.

"What the hell are you doing here?" asked Azula, hands on her hips, she glanced at the sky. "Especially when it's so stormy looking. Did it look like this a few minutes ago?"

"No, but…" a thunder clap made the girls jump. Both girls ran into the temple just as the rain started pelting the roof.

"What the hell?" asked Azula as hail started to pound against the roof and the wind started picking up.

"These storms can creep on you, you know that," said Saki, but winced as another thunder clap sounded.

"Right," said Azula dully. "Well, if this happens the next few days in a row we can guess that it's the spirit expressing its discontent in a whole new fun way. Instead of a few broken pots and cracked walls. We'll have roofs ripped off by the wind, water damage, flooding, leaking, and hyperactive children not allowed outside for hours on end. And believe me, I'm disappearing right after teaching them, I'm not getting stuck with them longer then I already have to put up with them."

"You're a saint," said Saki with a shaky smile. "I hope you're wrong."

"I'm not," said Azula, Saki shock her head.

"I don't think you are. Come on, let's find Aang and the rest and see what they have to say on this sudden rainstorm," said Saki, hitting her glider so that it snapped back together. Azula followed a bit reluctantly, when she walked into the room, there was general mayhem, the Avatar was trying to keep everyone calm. Azula made her way to Gato who looked like he was trying to sink into the wall. Azula smiled at him and nodded, he nodded back and looked back at the crowd.

"Shut up," the avatar sure had a good set of lungs working for him. "Listen everyone you need to calm down, this isn't clear yet. I'm heading down to the cave. Yes, I know that I can't talk directly to the spirit but I'll be able to tell if the storm was created by it. You all should concentrate on what you can help with and that's the state your home is going to be in after this storm, especially if it lasts."

The wind blew hard against the temple; Jet was suddenly clinging to Azula's pant legs. The blue haired girl looked down at the kid with a raised eyebrow. He looked at her with wide rabbit-doe eyes. She sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"What can we do against a spirit?" demanded one of the Elders. Azula rolled her eyes, that was not what the avatar meant.

"That's not what I meant," said the avatar with an exasperated sigh. He was obviously restraining the need to yell at them or talk to them like they were children. "Leave that up to me, what you need to concentrate is on the material."

"The material but that isn't what air benders were concerned about?" came another elderly voice.

"It's what the villagers will be concerned about tomorrow," said Azula, all eyes turned to her as she picked up Jet onto her hip since he had been threatening to pull her pants down by trying to scamper up her on the last thunder clap. "Their houses will probably be destroyed and they won't be happy, we need to find an efficient way to work out how to go about restoring their way of living and restocking everyone's food supply. Probably set up teams."

"Ah, Azi, we've been looking for you!" said the old overweight 'mother' Shiki, she scared the hell out of Azula, which was the reason she never associated with the kids outside class unless she couldn't help it. Plus, what did she mean she had been waiting? "Your needed at the nursery."

"Oh yeah, she couldn't see that name being a problem with some of the older kids. Hey, wait, what had she said?

"Come on, girl, don't stand there looking stupid, those poor little dears are waiting for their strong teacher to come protect them," Azula glared at the woman. Her glare was ignored as the woman just started to pull her toward the back. She caught a few looks that seemed amused by her being pulled to watch over kids. Even Gato looked like he was trying to fight back giggles. "You can come too Gato, it'll be good for kids to see that Azi can protect even big kids from the thunder."

Gato glared, but ducked when thunder boomed.

Azi walked to the room, fuming, the damn woman didn't notice, or didn't care. So she walked into the room of children three thunder claps late, the last one sounded as if it was right on top of them and shook the whole building. When she entered the darkened nursery she couldn't even see most of the children. Only two who didn't seem afraid of the thunder and just seemed bored to be locked in. That didn't mean they didn't light up when Azula walked through the door, it just meant that they were the last ones to her from the stampede who started clinging to her and talking and crying all at once.

It took a while to calm them all down. By the time she had a second to breathe she noticed that Shiki had bailed on her. Flaky woman, this was not part of what Azula was supposed to do. But the kids refused to let her out of eyesight, and even Gato seemed to be more comfortable with her and was now resting after an importune story by Azula on the floor.

"Azi," came a loud whisper. Azula glanced toward the door. The avatar was beckoning her over. Azula sighed but stood up to leave, anything to get away from the many bodies that were surrounding her.

"What do you want?" she asked quietly, looking up as thunder shook the building again, a few kids stirred but none woke up.

"You looked upset when you left," said the Avatar, Azula raised an eyebrow and leaned against the wall. "I just wanted you to know that they immediately started on plans."

"So they wanted me there?" asked Azula dryly.

"Well, no," said Aang awkwardly. "But not for the reason you think. It wasn't because they thought you were insane or anything like that, it was because when you start planning anything, you tend to be a little too intense and also go a little overboard. Oh, and you have inspiring speeches that are more scary than helpful."

"Well, that makes me feel so much better," said Azula sarcastically. The avatar winced. "But I can see where they're coming from."

"I want to make it up to you," said the avatar seriously. He looked excited, Azula was very worried.

"How?"

"I'm going to come and teach the little ones with you tomorrow. It'll be great!" the avatars devastating words were punctuated by thunder.

"What?" said Azula.

"Azi," a small voice with a little fear drew her attention away for a precious second.

"We'll have fun tomorrow, you'll see!" yelled the avatar already going around the next corner. Azula tried to go after him for a second. Before a chorus of her name came from more kids. She couldn't chase the avatar now; she'd get in trouble with Saki and the rest of the temple.

"Azi!" their voices were raising in fear. Azula groaned, but turned and went to soothe the kids. She wasn't even sure what she used as an excuse as to why she had been outside the door and not with them. All she could do was continue to curse the avatar and all his damn goody-goody friends as she calmed the kids down and started telling them another modified story. Gato looking at her goofily.


	13. Not Ready to Make Nice

Authors Notes: If I bit my lip, would you kiss it better?

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave).

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

Not Ready to Make Nice by Dixie Chicks

Chapter Thirteen

Not Ready to Make Nice

"That's it, come on Lin, perfect!" shouted Aang watching as the kids played some confusing game that Azula had only now had completely understood the rules to. But watching the kid's play it was obvious that the avatar wasn't holding them to the rules and only called something if there was any malicious foul play or just too dangerous air bending. Which sounded ridiculous.

She was miffed, however, at how quickly these brats had taken to the avatar. They had been so excited to take lessons from the airhead, and had been having so much funthat they had forgotten about her. Azula was left to sulk slightly behind the bald boy.

"Their pretty good, you're a really good teacher for not being an air bender," said the avatar with a huge smile. Azula just shrugged, she didn't really want complements from this boy.

"I usually have Gato here to help with the instructions," she said.

"But the kids are a bit wild (Fig stop attacking Hesh, that's against the rules) you must have a very firm hand to keep them in line," said the avatar, not losing his smile. Azula didn't answer the avatar, just turned back to sulk. She was happy to say that her rejection seemed to take the wind out of his sails.

"Azi, Azi!" shouted Jet, she looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I can do it really well, watch."

Jet struck out with his fist and a small burst of fire shot out. It wasn't great, but it was more than the pathetic thing he'd made before that.

"Fine, that's good enough for you to go on, but you have to get over this fear of fire bending," said Azula.

"Maybe we should take him to see the sun people, that's how I got over my fear," said Aang, though it sounded more like he was talking to himself.

"What?" asked Azula, the avatar glanced at her, smiled and turned his head away and whistled. Azula didn't want to know anymore. The guy was a moron, how had he defeated her father?

"Anyway, the next set of movements for fire bending looks like this," said Azula and started fist forward like before, to the side and then finally to the back. She was careful to keep her fire from even trying to surface with the old movements.

Jet tried to copy her movements, his feet twisting in his ankle even though his arm movements started out pretty well. Azula sighed and grabbed his arm to drag him up.

"This time watch my stance and how I move my feet," said Azula with a small amount of exasperation. Every fire bender started out with trouble, but this kid was the worse that she had ever met, it just proved that people from other countries, especially benders, really shouldn't try and procreate against their heritage, it didn't work. The kid wasn't as intoned to the steps as he should be, his movements almost wanting to be those of water benders instead.

Azula corrected the boy's stance as he tried again, and sighed as he lost footing. She kept one eye on him, and the other on the rest of the pests flying around and trying to kill each other.

"Hey, Azi," Azula blinked and looked at the avatar, she had almost forgotten that he was there. "I'll watch the air benders, that way you can concentrate on Jet. Thank you, by the way," Azula stared at him for a second, before nodding.

"Of course avatar," said Azula letting a bit of bite into her voice as she grabbed Jet's leg and tried to force it into the right position, as the kid kept putting it back wrong.

"Aang," the avatar said.

"Hm?"

"Aang," repeated the avatar, Azula blinked and looked up at the boy. She glared lightly and then turned back to her work.

"Avatar," said Azula firmly.

"Aang," said the avatar slowly. Azula turned her back on him.

"Show it to me again. I'll keep correcting you until you don't fall on your ass," said Azula, opting to find another way to ignore the avatars pleas. He popped right in her face forcing her to take a few steps backward, eye wide.

"Aang," he said happily and she glared at him. Jet giggled. Azula made a face at the avatar and turned to her student, ignoring the little annoyance and hoping he'd just disappear.

"Right, I'll show you one more time and then you try it yourself," said Azula firmly. She went through the three basic moves, pausing and going slower than normal so he could take in her whole stance. He nodded and skidder off a few feet to practice. Azula tried to continue to ignore the avatar who was watching her instead of the kids. His eyes begged her to call him by his given name.

"You're no help at all," scolded Azula, Aang looked her in confusion. "You said you would watch the kids and instead you spend the time like a child."

"Child? I was watching them," said Aang, Azula turned to him, her hands on her hips.

"Is that why Ling is now hanging by his ankles by the temple?" asked Azula pointing toward where the boy was hanging.

"Hey!" called Aang, his feet barely touching the ground as he ran full speed toward the kid who was starting to rip his shirt and fall. Azula chuckled and a few miscreants followed her example. She looked down at them as they smiled at her. There were a few seconds of silence and their smiles started to melt, fear replacing it.

This was going to be fun, and there was nothing the avatar could do to stop her.

-----

"Alright, you all know you assigned groups?" asked Azula, the kids all nodded, she had forced all the kids to eat together and now split into three even teams. Thankfully she was only expected to look after a third of them in this mess. While it wasn't felt that air bending practices could be canceled, they also thought that the kids should help in fixing up the town. There were still huge branches in houses, roofs missing, and structures that had to be rebuilt so they were more sturdy, so the kids would have lots to do, and no attention span to do it.

They departed, Mother taking one group, Gato another, and Azula left with the last. Saki waved to her while she headed to her assigned area. Azula looked around, the Elder had pointed them toward a house that had been flooded and mostly destroyed. They were to gut it, find anything they could that was salvageable, and also help the family rebuild the house with the new layout the father was getting from the only architect around.

"Alright, everyone remember we're taking orders from all the big people, just because someone who isn't me gives you orders you're still expected to do what they say. I get any complaints from anyone running this and I will personally see to your punishment is severe during lessons the tomorrow. I get more than five complaints and I will not only punish the people who committed the crimes, but the whole class, the transgressors more so," she pushed them to listen to another overbearing grandmother type.

"What's transgressors?" asked Mi, but she sounded scared enough that she wouldn't do anything. She guessed there would be three kids who didn't take her seriously, but she probably wouldn't have to think of something for the whole class.

"Hey Azi," Azula jumped a little and turned around to see her brother, and the water bender behind him. Her life officially sucked.

"Please tell me you people are just passing by," begged Azula. Zuko looked exasperated and Katara giggled, apparently she was getting used to Azi's personality and wouldn't take her comments so personally anymore.

"Sorry Azi, looks like we were assigned to the same place. I'm here because this is one of the largest homes and it has one of the largest families. They need a water bender to help get the water out, and they just stuck him with me," said Katara with a smile.

"You any good at fixing things?" asked Azula to her brother.

"Better than I used to be," said Zuko in a way that Azula got the idea a lot of angry villagers were getting their kicks out of making the Fire Lord help rebuild their homes. Her brother was pathetic.

"Do I want to know?" asked Azula.

"The first time he went back to the Earth Kingdom he was expected to help rebuild the village," said Katara and then giggled. "It started out alright until they saw that the section of the roof he was working on had nails in completely useless places, mostly all bent. They didn't yell, but most stopped working and just watched Zuko mess up repeatedly."

"They didn't help?" asked Azula.

"Nope, apparently they thought that it was hysterical that it was proven I was a spoiled brat. They helped eventually, but it took Aang sitting them all down and yelling at them," said Zuko. Azula rolled her eyes. She didn't quite think that the avatar yelled at anyone, try and give an inspiring speech, but him yelling in a way that got people to listen to him was a little hard to imagine.

"He yelled?" she asked.

"Well, no, he talked to them very firmly, gave examples of our own trips, and begged them to understand. Most of the villagers got along with Zuko to agree for the rest of our stay," said Katara.

"Sounds like you're having a difficult time making up for all your ancestors' mistakes," said Azula dully. She started moving as they were directed to start fixing.

"Yes, well, I did get to see and apologize to a few people I'd treated badly when I was still trying to find myself," said Zuko with a strained smile. "Plus, this is only bringing the nations together with a stronger bond."

"Making lemons into lemonade?" Azula found herself teasing.

"Something like that," her brother said with an answering smile.

They worked as a team of three the rest of the day. Not that Azula didn't try to bail on them, she had, and almost succeeded twice, but eventually she just accepted her fate and listened into their conversations. They were both trying to avoid talking about the state of the Fire Nation that was for sure, Azula guessed this was because her brother was supposed to be on vacation. They did wander into the conversation from time to time, but they were quick to change it. Azula caught enough to hear that her brother had completely changed his personal staff and had the more important scrolls sent to him and a daily update on all the important incidents and news in the kingdom and anything connected, or could be connected to the Fire Kingdom. Katara scolded him for working, but Azula understood. Her bother probably had very few people that he could trust in the palace. He was still much too trusting, but she supposed if someone had to take the Fire Kingdom, it might as well be someone who could do good for it. It was her home land after all.

The day did not run smoothly. They found out quickly that even though the old woman was constantly pushing Azula to do construction and using a saw and the like, giving her any tools usually ended in something bleeding or bruises. Unlike her brother, Azula seemed to get worse the more work like this she did. Instead Katara would have her help move stuff out of the way as to make her water bending more useful and then put her on scavenger duty after that. That was, until the old woman would come back and push Azula to start her old job over again. The two found this hysterical, but would take pity on her.

The other thing that was frustrating was that she and the kids were on opposite sides of the building. It was one of the three long buildings (besides the kitchen and one other family building) that was in their village. So she had no way to look after the misbehaving children. But the grownups on that side insisted that they were family people and knew how to take care of many children at the same time. The only problem was that whenever the kids did something out of turn they would come whining to Azula. She would volunteer to go back and watch them like she was supposed to, but they would just act all huffy and refuse her, like it was still her fault. By the tenth time they did this she was ready to kill them and the two goody-goodies had to restrain her. Azula was already coming up with cruelest form of punishment that she could think of.

Apparently Ling had already done five pranks (that the elders knew of) on his classmates. She had already decided that her lesson to him would be a lecture, not one of her usual, but something that she had seen a mother do. One that drove guilt into the little kid, that told him she was very disappointed he had chosen to seek revenge this way. But, his ideas had been interesting enough that she could suggest some more sneaky ones that wouldn't get him in trouble. Mostly because they wouldn't be able to tell it had been them.

"Alright you spawn-maggots," snapped Azula pacing in front of the children. "When Mother comes to get you I want you to head right to bed when you get there. Anyone I hear doing different will increase the punishment that I have already worked out. Anyone who tries to skip tomorrow will also suffer a worse punishment, is that understood?" Azula shouted in her best military voice.

"Yes sir!" they all shouted back, completely serious. Azula nodded in satisfaction and sent them along as mother came.

"You know, uncle's serving tea, why don't you come join us, I'm sure Saki'll be there," said Zuko, she heard the hope in his voice. Azula could hardly believe the day had come when her brother wanted to be around her. Granted he just thought she was a mean spirited, insane, but also inside kind girl. She was not kind inside.

"I'm not someone you want to become closer friend with," said Azula and started leave, not in the direction they were going in. "And I do not do everything that Saki does." She added, just so they got that clear.

"We know, but her being there helps you with feeling safe around us, doesn't it?" asked Katara.

"My not wanting to hang with you has nothing to do with me being insecure," said Azula in irritation.

"That's what Saki said," explained Katara, now looking uncomfortable. Azula glared at the girl.

"And how would she know?" demanded Azula. Zuko smiled and grabbed her arm. Azula tried to wrench it away from him, but it still seemed he had those muscles from all those years wandering around.

"Because she can read you like a book. But if you say your fine with us then you really have no reason not to join us," Zuko started dragging her; ignoring all the threats and bruises she gave him. Katara smiling fondly and walked closely behind them.

---

Azula was not happy or amused. She was stuck in this loud crowd, with people she had once plotted to kill - Many she had made real attempts to kill and many she had almost succeeded in, the avatar being one of those people. They all now sat in a small room talking and laughing. Sokka had started to try and make a picture to capture the moment. Katara had stolen the paper and ink and given it to a passing Elder and told him to hide it. Saki had gone out and apologized to the man. She hadn't come back yet.

"Come on, loosen up Azi," said her uncle, elbowing her with bruising force into her ribs. She glared at him, though she couldn't help the fear that he knew who she was.

"I don't want to be here," her uncle opened her mouth. "And I don't want to hear any lectures that take a day to figure out that it was half an insult. If you'll excuse me?"

An amused chuckle followed Azula but she ignored it and went to the other corner of the room to sulk. She watched Gato, who had apparently been slipped some alcohol along the way, because he was now attempting to… she did not need to see that. Azula sighed and tried to disappear into the wall. These people were very good at keeping her around.

"Hey Azi," said Aang jumping out in front of her again. This time she didn't jump, just glared.

"Hello Avatar," she said politely. Aang pouted at her and took a long sip at his tea. She took it from his hand and smelled it. She blinked and gave it back to the boy. She then started deliberately to head toward her uncle.

"Hey Ahzi," said Sokka, another person just appearing in front of her. She glanced at the boy, he was definitely smashed.

"You get everyone drunk out of their minds water tribe peasant?" asked Azula, putting her hands on her hips. He giggled and through his hand around his shoulder.

"Nope, Ga'o found the liquor and the old fa' man a'reed to put it in the tea. You di'n't drink anah tea di' yo?" asked the boy. He laughed and then seemed to remember that he was supposed to be mad at her for not drinking the spiked tea.

"Gato's only, what, twelve, and Aang isn't that much older than him," said Azula with a sigh and took another look around and shock her head. "Just how strong was this stuff?"

"Strong," dragged out the water tribe peasant. "And Ga'o's fifteen."

"Really?" asked Azula in surprise.

"His family confir'med it," said Sokka happily. "Though they di'n't seem to keen on seeing him. I wonder why, it's really bes' to keep in touch with family."

"Still, isn't that a little young?" asked Azula remembering that the legal age in the Fire Kingdom was eighteen.

"Nope, the legal age is younger here, thirteen I think was what the El'ers said," Sokka slurred.

"Yeah, still, it probably be best if there was an actual adult here to watch you. The fat man does not count," said Azula with as much bite as her tired mind could summon. She glared lightly as the boys head landed on her shoulder and he was lost in laughter.

"You know," said Sokka while whipping his eyes and lying almost completely on her. "I don't even think I'm really attrac'ed to you."

"You're not," said Azula with a little confusion.

"Then why do I want to tal' to you and be aroun' you?" asked Sokka, seemed genuinely confused. Azula sighed guys were idiots.

"Don't know, but do you talk about me constantly to your friends?" she asked.

"Not contan'ly, and no' abou' how beautuful you are like I did wi'h…" tears started to fill his eyes, Azula rolled her eyes.

"I'm not the one who you have a crush on," she said making the boy look at her. He blinked at her.

"Then who do I have a crush on?" asked the boy pathetically. She looked at the boy with reserve and then sighed, letting go of his chin.

"I don't think I should tell you," said Azula, leaning herself against the wall. "You'll figure it out on your own I'm sure."

Plus that would give the other moron time to catch up. She didn't think the water peasant would move first, he probably didn't even know what was going on.

"I'm here," sang avatar in front of her.

"Aang, get out of my face," said Azula duly. She looked confused as the boys face split into a wide grin, and then realized what she had just said. "That was just a small slip of the…"

"Nope, you already said it, you can't take it back, you have to call me Aang and everyone else by their actual name from now on," said the avatar jumping around.

"Why everyone?" she asked in confusion.

"Because that's the way it works," he sang.

"I'm leaving," said Azula. Sokka grabbed her arm and gave her wide eyes. "And you aren't stopping me, I've had a stressful day and I have kids to watch in the morning. Good night."

She walked out with a sigh.

"Hello Azi, leaving so soon?" asked Ursa while she was walking down the hall.

"Shouldn't you be making sure they don't do anything to hurt themselves?" asked the woman.

"They're very busy kids," said the woman with a gentle smile that allowed kind smiles. "It's good for them to cut loose every once in a while. You should try it."

"No thanks," said the girl in boredom.

"I'll see you tomorrow," said Azula with a wave. She continued to her room when Saki caught up to her, she looked angry, more so then she had ever seen.

"What's wrong?" asked Azula, worried that something had happened. Saki opened her mouth, but just sighed and cracked one eye to look at her friend and sigh again, Azula became worried.

"Nothing, nothing we have to talk about tonight. We'll discuss it tomorrow," Saki left, leaving Azula a bit confused. But she really was tired.

Azula headed to his room and rolled into a ball. She was exhausted. Saki was acting weird, but tomorrow it would be easier to figure out. She took out her hair band and shock her hair out while changing into something more comfortable to sleep in. She curled up under the covers and took the earth kingdom doll down. She looked at it for a moment before replacing it on the shelf above her bed. She would wonder in the morning how she had ended up clutching the doll and waking up feeling more tired than she had ever felt.


	14. The Pretender

Author's Notes: "If I could be anything, I'd be a tear: born in your eye, living on your cheek, and dying at your lips."

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave). None of the music is mine either.

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures, blood (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

The Pretender by Foo Fighteres

Chapter Fourteen

The Pretender

Azula walked toward the mess, ignoring the way Sokka was skittering behind her in fear. It was better than his usual constant chatter. She had spent a long time making the kids run around and carry out their punishments. She had left three of the kid's punishments to Sokka because they were overly sensitive and tended to not take well to her kick ass self. While the other kids had taken to her rough but fair attitude, some had felt the hostility and had hidden in their rooms. These, she figured, were the ones that were actually strongly affected by high emotions. So she couldn't just punish them as severely as others, because they were probably the ones working as hard as they could on the job. Apparently one had tried very hard to stop all the ruckus from going on. But she had a promise to keep; the only difference was she was handing out personal punishments since this really was not the military.

So now Mother got to deal with all the tired and depressed kids. And she could drop off the freaked Sokka with his friends. Why didn't he get that she knew how much to push these kids? The three she'd left to his charge should have tipped him off that she was a little sensitive to their moods. Instead he treats her like a scary thing. Odd, he'd seen the way she treated them during lessons, especially when one kid pretended not to get it just to get attention. Still, she felt odd doing it this way, she just sighed and continued toward the mess. Perhaps she had been a little loud while he still had that hangover. But she felt he deserved it, especially since it seemed the avatar had refused to drink any of the spiked tea, because it was apparently a very bad idea for him to do so. So he remembered the little slip of tongue and even Gato had been pushing her, so she just used his name, most of the time (she had decided).

"Did you have to be that cruel?" asked Sokka behind her. Azula glanced over her shoulder and looked at the boy who now had huge, begging eyes. Moron.

"That wasn't cruel, I was being strict and keeping my word," said Azula to the boy. He glared at her. Water tribesmen could not glare to save their lives. Well, Katara could be scary in her own way, but their glares still fell a mile short of being remotely intimidating or scary.

"Did you have to be so cruel to the little kiddies?" asked Sokka, his eyes wide once again.

"Yes, they were little devils yesterday, they have to make it up today, and they did," said Azula and then smiled her scariest smile at the teen. He backed off a little, but quickly regained his confidence.

"But they're just kids, wouldn't it be better to be kinder to them?" asked Sokka. Why wouldn't his wide eyes go the hell away?

"No, they need to learn that the only…" she froze, she probably shouldn't shout at him She didn't want to intimidate him, she didn't want him to get the impression she was mad at him, and when she yelled like that -- people tended to start backing away and avoiding her. For some reason she didn't want Sokka gone, she wanted him to understand that she knew what she was doing, but not with that voice. Not that she wanted sound gooey and love struck, she'd still rather swim in bullshark infested water than date or kiss the fool from the water tribe. It was just… aggravating.

"Listen," said Sokka, and then turned to the cook thanking him with a nod as he took his tray. "I'm just saying that you should go easier on them."

"You listen," said Azula slipping to sit next to her brother while talking to Sokka who sat opposite of her. "I can't do that now; I've already shown the way I take care of them. It's with a firm hand and if I change my method so abruptly they'll think I've become soft and will try to run all over me."

"But if you got them slowly used to the idea. I'm pretty sure they didn't think you could do anything quite like that," said Sokka waving his food around.

"I teach them as I see fit," said Azula taking a large bite against her meat, and then blanched, she had just acted completely without manners.

"Looks like your learning to loosen up," said the avatar.

"I'm not talking to you," said Azula. The table laughed at the hotty expression she struck, her nose turned up and everything. "Hey, have any of you seen Saki?"

"She said something about not being hungry," said Ursa looking a little concerned. "Do you know if anything is wrong with her Azi?"

"No, but she did say she wanted to talk to me after lunch today," said Azula, she sighed and shook her head, taking a bite out of her food. "She seemed very tense last night, but I couldn't figure out was wrong just by what she said."

"Well, hopefully you'll be figure out what's wrong," said Ursa. Axula nodded and looked back at her food, somehow she wasn't so hungry.

-----

"Saki!" said Azula, finding her friend shortly after leaving the mess. Saki still looked disturbed at seeing her, no smiles or anything.

"You were heading down to the village," said Saki, her voice mostly bored.

"Yeah, the kids have the rest of the day off but there's still damage control to do in the village," said Azula. She looked at Saki. "Why, what's so significant about it?"

"They still don't really trust you," said Saki plainly, she pushed off the rock she was leaning against and headed down toward the village.

"Well, no, but they'll take any helping hand at the moment. Maybe it will help them forgive me," said Azula with a smirk. It died when she saw her friend's expression. They kept walking until they were on the opposite side of the village, the silence holding something ominous that Azula knew she'd hate once they got to wherever Saki was leading them. "Saki, you're never this quiet, what's wrong?"

Saki turned around and Azula tensed. She hadn't ever seen this look. No, that wasn't true, she had seen it once before. It had been when the village had found out she was a fire bender.

"Saki-" she said with a little fear walking forward toward her friend. Azula flinched and her fear grew when Saki took a step backward. "What's wrong, you're scaring me."

"You know, yesterday, Ursa showed me a painting done of her daughter," Azula tensed at the bitterly humorous voice her friend had. "She also told me stories."

"I don't get it," said Azula, trying to sound completely confused and innocent. "What's wrong, what did Ursa say?"

"Oh, on first name basis with her and the rest are you?" said Saki with bite. Azula knew where this was going and it was starting to make her very worried. She wanted to avoid the inevitable.

"The avatar insisted," said Azula, trying to straighten herself, so she didn't look weak.

"The avatar insisted?" asked Saki with an ironic smile. "Since when do you do anything that the avatar tells you to do? If memory serves you tried to kill him enough times that this really shouldn't be a problem for you."

"What are you talking about?" asked Azula, now completely lost.

"What was your plan _Azula_?" asked Saki, mocking her real name. She looked disgusted. "To let them get to know you and then slowly kill them off, showing them that you had gotten the best of them? Why not just kill them when you came, they didn't have even the smallest misgiving then? Or did you want all their defenses gone?"

"No, I wasn't going to kill the avatar or any of his friends," said Azula. Saki looked at her in confused disbelief. The girl always had claimed to know when Azula was lying.

"But, can you tell me that you aren't Azula the former Princess of the Fire Nation?" asked Saki, her voice biting. Azula didn't answer. "What, can't answer because you can't lie to me?" Saki seemed to be enjoying herself in some superficial way.

"Is that the reason you sound so pissed?" demanded Azula. "Because I lied to you who I really was?"

"You know what, the only reason I'm upset that you didn't tell me who you were before is because I've spent my time associating with a lowlife like yourself. If I had known who you are when I found you I would have left you to rot in that forest, after everything you've done, all the lives that you've ruined, you deserved that fate," said Saki, her voice cold as steal.

"Me, I'm the one you have a problem with?" demanded Azula. "If I might point out my brother wasn't always on the right path all his life."

"He changed!"

"So did I," argued Azula.

"He changed for his country, what did you change for, and how did you change? You still act like a proper spoiled overbearing princess from what I've seen. So tell me, how have you changed?" asked Saki, her voice cruel and cutting. Azula felt her body shake with anger.

"I've changed for you. Damn it, that's the only reason those goody-goodies are still alive. Because you still need the avatar," said Azula.

"Oh, how noble of you. You won't let the suffering of the rest of the world stop you, but me, somehow I became the exception in your little self-centered world. Tell me, Fire Princess, how did that come to be?" demanded Saki.

"I told you, it's because you've been there my entire life," said Azula, she looked at her old ghost and wished for her to understand. "You might have disappeared, but you were always showing up and just talking to me. You were the only one who didn't bow because of who I was, but was there all the same."

"I-am-not-your-ghost," said Saki, her eyes shining. "That's just something your sick mind threw together."

"Yes you are. I might have been seeing ghosts all my life, but you are the only one I've seen that wasn't based on someone that I already knew of. You fit her perfectly. Looks and personality," said Azula firmly. Saki clenched her fists in fury.

"If it really had been my ghost then she wouldn't have accepted you for who you are. I can forgive you for being insane, hell; it helps me accept your bitter personality. I can even forgive you of being a fire bender. What I cannot forgive is all that you have done when you were the fire princess. How many lives you ruined, how many people have you killed, how many evils have your ancestors committed against the other people of the world, their own people included?" demanded Saki.

"Why am I being blamed for the transgressions of my ancestors? Why not place some of that with Zuko?"

"Because he's doing all he can to make up for his people's wrong while you tried to make it worse," sneered Saki. "From what your brother told me it was your idea to completely wipe out everyone in the Earth Kingdom."

"Of course it was my idea, you think anyone else has the brains to think up something so brilliant? Those earth…" Azula was thrown backward, her back hitting hard against a tree and knocking the wind out of her. She took in controlled breaths, looking up through her blue hair. She glared at Saki, her breath hard to find.

"Brilliant? Are you fucking kidding me? You think that by killing off people, simply because they fight against your ideals, is a brilliant idea? You should have taken it as a sign that what you were doing was wrong!" yelled Saki, coming at her and stopping a few feet from her. Azula pushed herself up the tree, her back killing her, but she gritted her teeth and glared.

"Believe me, I know, I'm just as, if not more, vicious than my father was," said Azula with a smirk.

"You deserve to be locked in prison -- in your head. I guess I can't blame you, it is, after all in your blood," sneered Saki. Azula tensed, she was not putting up with this anymore, no matter who Saki was to her.

"Well, I guess the ancestors do play a part in people's lives seeing as you're just like your ancestors. You're just as flaky about your family as air nomads were. You aren't planning to go back to your mother, not after everything that's happen. You might have remembered to ask her to come. But she wasn't interested, was she? And you're going to stay here because you know this is where you're needed. You're daddy's little girl alright," said Azula with a cruel smirk. A blade of air bit into her shoulder. Azula winced, but refused to back down. She felt warm blood trickle down her cool skin. She ignored it and just glared at her friend.

"And you, what you have a good family situation? You've tried all your life to be rid of your brother, while I'd give anything to get mine back," said Saki, tears touching the side of her eyes.

"Don't compare my family to yours," hissed Azula leaning forward on the tree. "And what the hell was that comment on fire benders anyway, what does it mean that you can forgive me for being a fire bender? I was born that way, I can't change that," said Azula.

"Like you were born with a cruel personality bent on causing others pain to rise yourself up," sneered Saki, staring down at the fire bender. "Though with what kind of person you are and atrocious acts you've committed I can't forgive or trust you."

"Then let me rephrase. You're going to condemn people based on an ability rather than their personality?" demanded Azula.

"The personality seems to come with the bending, or so history has taught us," sneered Saki.

"So you're going to call kids like Jet monsters just because they have a certain ability? Force him to become the dangerously unstable grownup he was starting to become before we started teaching him and showing him what human compassion was?" demanded Azula.

"No, Jet had some water blood in him because of his mother," said Saki. Azula tensed, her glare intensifying.

"His mother is the reason he's so messed up," snapped Azula.

"She's probably the reason that he's sane, the little tantrums are probably bad blood, he'll just have to work through it," said Saki. "Damn, all this time we left you with the kids. We should have just sucked it up and taught them. I mean, you're friggin insane!"

"You know, in some ways, you're worse than me, condemning a child to abuse because he's a fire bender," Azula winced as another blade of air cut against her.

"You dare suggest...?"

"What else would I be saying?" asked Azula and got pushed into the tree harder for her outburst. "And while I'm at, why don't I defend my people? Like pointing out that every other group of benders has tried to take over the rest of the world, though none but the air benders has come as close as us."

"What are you saying, you quoting some ridiculous Fire Kingdom propaganda?" asked Saki.

"No, believe me, their propaganda does not make you out to ever be powerful enough to pull off something like that," sneered Azula. "I've read all the old archives, and a long time ago, your people tried force the rest of the world to work its way, since it felt it was best…"

"It is," said Saki digging into Azula, the former Fire Princess coughed but kept going.

"Don't be stupid, if the war forced anything down my throat it was that every nation needs to act as they see…" she gasped as one cut went from one shoulder to opposite hip. She bent over in pain, her vision starting to blur.

"I'm giving you a week, by the end I'll tell the avatar exactly who you are," said Saki and then turned and headed into the forest. Azula wondered distractedly what had happened to make Saki hate fire benders or what in the war she could have done to have Saki practically kill her.

Azula limped back toward the temple, through the village as normally as she could. Saki had brought them far enough into the woods that there was a good chance no one had overheard them. She gripped her shirt together, but her vision kept blurring. These wounds were probably going to scar. She refused to think they were fatal. She might not be able to remember a time that it hurt as much as this, but she was sure she could survive it as long as she went somewhere and bandaged it up.

"Ah, Azi, they missed you in the village, but said you'd headed off with Saki. If you're done with you're done with helping the village because of a spat we should keep on your training," said Master Tuk with reserve.

"I don't have time for this today," said Azula, trying to move past her master on the stones.

"Come on girl… Hey, what's wrong?" asked Master Tuk lifting her head to look at her.

"Where'd this blood come from?" asked Sokka from behind Azula. She tried to move past her master, but Tuk held her fast.

"Azi?" he asked and then looked at her. "You're clothes are soaked in blood!"

"What!?" shouted Sokka coming over to her. Azula felt the world tilt. The next thing she felt was something moving under her. Cold, but keeping her feet off the ground, and someone trying to pull her clothes back.

"These are air bender made," said the avatar. Where had he come from? How did these people just pop up all the time? "That's how I know."

"But who?" was that Katara?

"Azi… come back to me girl," said Master Tuk in a strong voice. She blinked her eyes opened and looked his way. "Did Saki do this to you?"

"It's not her fault," sighed Azula, still not able to concentrate, she didn't even think she could move any of her limbs her whole body just ached.

"Azi if…" But the world went dark.

-----

"Well look, Miss Prim is up," sneered a voice near Azula ear. The blue haired girl blinked her eyes open to look over to see Saki, sitting to one side looking at her with sad eyes. "I guess I didn't kill you after all."

Azula watched as her friend made her way over. She just stared at her emotionlessly.

"You should have just died," sneered Saki.

"How can you say that to me?" asked Azula reaching out to her friend. Saki just stared at the hand in disgust.

"I am not your ghost," said Saki with little emotion. "It's been three days by the way."

"What?"

"You've been asleep three days," repeated Saki. "Don't worry, you haven't missed much. I've been locked up for a few days. They had the head witch here sedate me and force me into a small room. I've convinced them it wasn't me. Better then telling them the reason we had the spat, that would have been breaking my word."

"What do you care, I'm only a fire bender," snarled Azula. Saki ignored her. Azula watched her, something was wrong. "You're not real."

"What makes you say that Azula, believe me, if I wanted to kill you I could," said Saki with a smile.

"Yes, because the mind is powerful enough to make something unreal true to themselves," said Azula with a glare. "You are not real."

The fake Saki was gone in a blink of an eye. Azula curled in on herself. That Saki might be fake but the contempt she probably felt for Azula was very real. She wished the conversation had just been a bad dream, but the ach in her bones, and how her entire body hurt and the skin pulled against her wounds was forcing her to accept the reality of her situation. She shivered and felt her blue hair fall over her eyes. Tears started to fall and splash against her hand.

"Azi?" it was Master Tuk again. "Azi, what's the matter?"

"I can't fix it," she sobbed, Master Tuk walked toward her in concern. Azula couldn't stop her sobs or her words. "I don't know how, I don't know how I can take back the past."

"Azi, what are you talking about?" asked Master Tuk, this time his voice firm. One that demanded she reveal all or shut up before it was too late.

"Saki, she's angry with me. I can't fix it, I can't apologize. I don't know what to do," she sobbed more and Master Tuk looked alarmed.

"Saki really did do this to you?" he asked in shock.

"Impossible," Azula looked up at the man and then glared at Saki's father. "She's your closest friend. You're hers. She knows that you don't have a perfect past, that's never stopped her from accepting you before."

"Yes, well, there are some things your daughter can't forgive," spat Azula.

"I'll talk…"

"No, leave her alone," said Azula looking up at the man, she saw that the avatar was with him. "She didn't mean to, not really, anger clouded her vision. Leave her be."

"She's needs to learn she cannot use her air bending this way," said Aang with earnest.

"She knows that. But believe me; she has a good reason for losing her mind and doing this to me…" Azula tried, she did, but the tears were there and she couldn't breathe without sobbing. She heard some shuffling and talking, but tried to ignore it. The pain in her heart even outweighed her physical pains at the moment.

Then two gentle arms were around her, pressing her to a slender body as a gentle hum fell on her ears. She buried her head in the red material, allowing the tears to soak into her mother's robe. A doll was pushed into her hands; she held it close to her chest and let her head fall against her mother, the tears falling down her cheeks. A hand touched her forehead.

"Azi, you're freezing!" her brother exclaimed, she rolled her eyes.

"That's normal for me," she rasped out.

"Listen, Azi, I don't know what's going on between you two, but I'm sure it's not as hopeless as you think," the avatar said trying to be helpful. Azula smiled at the irony of all of this. "Everything will turn out fine."

"I don't think it will be, but thanks for the sentiment anyway Aang," said Azula, clutching the doll in one hand and her mother's dress in the other.

"Don't give up," said Toph confidently. Azula just shook her head.

"No, this time she didn't even need to call me a monster, what she thought of me was clearly reflected in her eyes," said Azula with a small chuckle. She turned her head away from the avatar's gang. She just wanted to sit here for a while. For once in her life she wanted to be held in her mother's arms and feel like she belonged there, to pretend that her mother loved her, and just to feel that warmth from her mother's body that even made it past her cold shields. Azula slowly felt herself lulled a sleep. Everyone left but they sent some sort of support to her that she didn't deserve. She lay in her mother's arms and drank it in, she might not deserve their support, but she desperately needed it.


	15. It Ends Tonight

Authors Notes: Well, I found a better name for this chapter around uploading chapter 8. Unfortunately I liked the song for this chapter which was All These Things I've Done by Killers, but I had to change it. Oh, well. The phoenix and dragons represent different things in their world.

'Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?'

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave).

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

It Ends Tonight by The All-American Rejects

Chapter Fifteen

It Ends Tonight

Azula had one more day of freedom. It turned out that the 'fake' Saki had been right. She really had been out of it for three days. Apparently she had talked to a hell of a lot of people who didn't exist during that time, and had made several very disturbing attempts, but Azula didn't remember any of it and the avatar and his friends were visibly worried.

The time had been hard between waking and that last day had been hard. She saw things and people that later would not be in reality more than usual. She heard voices around her that didn't have bodies. Reality and fantasy was quickly impossible to tell apart. But the avatar and his friends had been there to support her through it all. Sokka had watched her in the morning, talking to her constantly, since she wasn't allowed to teach the children until she was better. Saki hadn't had to say anything, and by the time she would have been able to do more than great them and tell them the odd story, by the time Azula would be allowed to watch them again then she would be in prison or dead, whichever punishment her brother choose for her.

Still, everyone acted like she was a friend, like they had been friends for years. Azi;a felt like they couldn't turn against her now that the connection had been made, but that's what she had thought about Saki. Gato got on her case when he noticed she had basically stopped eating, but Azula had just snapped at him for his weight. He and Saki's father had been pushing Saki to talk to Azula and work it out, but Saki hadn't spilled on her – yet.

The others tended to stick close to her when they could. Jet would cling to her, and look very pathetic, or run away and do something stupid that required her attention. This, surprisingly, kept her more present than anything else. Her mother treated her like a child and often would play dolls with her or brush her hair. Azula would usually go along with at the time, and then be angry at both her mother and herself for letting it happen. The avatar would teach her moves, her brother would practice the fire bending moves, Katara would chatter with her, and Toph would drag her to do manly things and beat the boys at their own games.

She still avoided her uncle.

At the moment she was listening to another roaring storm. The thunder was still at a distance, and she planned to just look at it from the roof, just to see what it would be like. She walked up the steps carefully. She'd be back soon. She could then go and calm down the children and say good bye to them with a story. She wondered how they would all act, what names they'd call her. She hoped that by that time she was lost in herself, lost to the outside world. She didn't' care if the avatar said that since she could identify an illusion from what was real some of the time that she was getting better, if they all turned on her then she knew she would be completely lost. She laughed; it was almost funny how quickly the avatar would change his mind about taking her to a mind healer.

"What is so funny, my dear?" asked Iroh, Azula jumped and glanced warily at the man.

"Nothing," she said.

"But I want to hear the joke, I wonder how something could cause laughter that made a tear of sadness enter my eye," he pulled at his girth and they just stared at each other for a time.

"Why don't you tell them?" she asked her uncle.

"Tell them what?" asked Iroh looking at her in mock confusion.

"Tell the others that I'll be right back, I just want to peek at the storm," said Azula and started up the stairs.

"But there's lightning out there!" her uncle yelled.

"I'll try to avoid it," said Azula with contempt. She continued up and was glad when the old general didn't follow her. She just wanted to feel the rain and see the lightning. It had been so long since she had summoned lightning that looking at it might make her feel better. She remembered lightning; it had been the only thing that had ever made her feel a true rush of warmth.

She came up on the roof and pulled her cloak closer to her, grabbing onto the railing when the fierce wind blew her forward. She could hardly see three feet in front of her and she could hear only the rushing winds and pounding rain. A flash of lightning struck close and Azula jumped in surprise, she had thought the lightning was further away. Another flashed through the sky and was headed, not toward her but, toward Sokka.

She didn't know how she did it. One minute she was standing next to a rail the next she was running toward an idiotic water tribesman. She caught the lightning before it hit him, wondering why the teen was even at the roof, and why he hadn't moved. She dragged the lightning inward and felt it crackle inside her, melting her for just a second, before she continued to copy the move she had seen her uncle do and let it out through the other arm back into the sky.

It was at that moment she knew that Saki was right. It was her fault. These awful catastrophes that the spirit was making was all to get her attention. She didn't know how she knew, or how she had missed this detail. Azula looked down at her hands in wonderment.

She ran, ignoring the way Sokka yelled, or that her feet were slipping dangerously. She went down the stairs and headed toward the cave. She could do it, she could fix it, she was the only one who could fix it. A strange combination of fear and joy crept in her bones upon this knowledge. She would very likely die, the spirit would probably kill her for all that she had done, but she would stop Saki from suffering from both of them. She could give her friend something back for all she had done for her even if the girl hated her. Azula couldn't explain it. Still, while suffering, she loved Saki, she would do anything for the girl. Nothing could stop it, and for some reason Azula felt a kind of freedom from this realization that she had never felt before. The fact that she could continue to give her love to someone and not care that they did nothing back for her.

She soon arrived at the cave; her body was shaking in fear and power. She had to do this; now that she was in this cave she didn't have a choice; something beyond her appeared to be coaxing her forward, telling her to walk forward and face her destiny. Still shaking, she did just that. She made sure to look proud. Back straight and head up, even if there was no one but her to see. Soon she was walking on the small circular upheaval of rocks that indicated where the spirit world and hers were so closely bound.

The air grew warmer and started circling around her. It picked up and threw her hair into her face, battereding her loose clothing around her skin. She could feel its power in and around her, calling to her, just touching her to see if she was worthy and recoiling at who she was. Slowly she felt it tug at the spot where her fire bending was and she lifted her arm, watching as cool blue fire sprung up in her palm and was dragged from her. The blue expanded and soon was flying in thin lines up. She felt her body lift and drag up toward the top of the cave.

It was hard to describe the sensation that coursed through her body as she was lifted with air and fire. She could feel something under the surface, in every brush of air that wanted to feel her. It looked deep into her soul, bringing to mind every laugh, tear, and every horrible deed she had ever done. It looked at her past, at her ancestry, her heart. It looked at everything that she was and forced her to see it herself.

She wasn't sure what was up and down. Something was attempting to do more than just see into her soul. It was trying to invade her, and it was angry. Well, perhaps not angry but disappointed. She could feel that it hated what they had become, and that no matter how much it wanted to come back, it wasn't sure if it could. To live a life like that, to become what it had become, could it really be reborn into a world that shaped such a monster.

No, she wasn't a monster. She'd be damned if she allowed a piece of herself of call her that. It racked against her mind, reminding her of all that she had done wrong. She forced it to notice how she had become that way. It reminded her that was one of the reasons it didn't want to come back. She panicked, she couldn't let it die, something bigger than just her death could come of that. Azula concentrated, brought out all the memories of all the decent people she could think of and presented them to the spirit. It latched on to Saki, her friendship, her kindness, and finally her hatred. It decided, Azula wasn't sure what it was, but in a moment it didn't matter because the past had become her and she was sinking into blackness, her body warm.

-----

Saki ran. She didn't know what was compelling her, maybe it was because the storm was changing to a clear night sky so abruptly, or the fact that something told her Azula was in peril. She didn't know why she would care that Azula was dying. The girl had lied to her, she was evil in its purest form, her past had proven that.

Yet, Saki had seen the former princess day after day for so long now. They had become close friends and it pained her to hate the other girl in this way. She wished that Azi had had any other secret. Not only that, but often she wished that she had never figured out who Azi really was. She couldn't feel right feeling the way she did about someone who had that kind of reputation. She didn't even know what to call it anymore, all she knew was that when she was around Azula she felt comfortable, she had wished that she really was Azi's ghost, the person who had been there for her all her life even when everyone else turned on her in one way or another.

She entered the cave at full run and what she saw almost stopped her heart. She looked at Azula; the fire benders face was relaxed with threads of blue hair falling in her face. Azi looked dead. Saki ran forward and turned her friend so that her still face at her. She couldn't feel her breath, or feel her move under her. She didn't even feel comfortable at the warmth that her friend's body now held.

She brought the still form into her arms, her breath shaky as she looked down on the lax face. She felt for a pulse that wasn't present, she tried to reason why her friend couldn't breathe but would still be alive. She couldn't, it just didn't come.

"Azi?" She tried, her voice hardly a whisper. "Azi." She shook the body a little now. "Come on, you can't die that easily I know you better than that, you're stronger than anyone I know, you would fight this with everything you are. Breathe. Azi? Mai? Azula? Damn it, answer me!"

She felt the tears course down her cheeks, body shaking as she tried to get an answer from the limp body in her hands.

"Come on girl, I forgive you. I won't tell on you, I promise, I don't think I could rat on you even if I wanted. That's why I was so mad, because you mean too much to me. I know you better and the idea that I might have been tricked just sent me over the edge. Please, I've watched you all this time. I know that you have suffered, and I know when you're lying or being false so I know the look in your eyes when someone from your past helped you, you were truly grateful. That in your own way you were trying to form a bond with your brother, even though you knew he'd send you to prison. I know that you've been trapped in your own mind hallucinating, but trying to ground yourself for everyone around you, but you couldn't. Because the one person you trusted above all else turned her back on you. Please, don't do this, don't let your fantasies become reality, don't die on me when I'm just figuring out how much you mean to me," Saki couldn't stop the tears that fell. At this point in time she would give anything to take back what she had done.

Saki lifted her hand shakily to rub away the tears. She'd tell the avatar the truth; she'd tell Azula's brother what his sister had been trying to do. She lifted her hand to wipe her tears when she saw blood on the tips of her fingers. Her back, Azula was bleeding from her back. Saki hoped the former princess hadn't committed suicide because of the voices and Saki, the blood from on Azula's back indicated that someone had killed her.

"I forgive you," she said into the blue hair. "And I will kill whoever murdered you."

"Saki?" Azula dragged in a breath and choked. Coughing she curled in her friends lap as Saki watched her with wide eyes. "Saki, what are you doing here?"

"I thought that something was wrong," said Saki, her eyes looking away. "Something was wrong with you. I – I came down here because I love you and I can't be with you."

"So, you were upset because someone else almost killed me?" asked Azula, not understanding what was happening.

"No, nothing like that," said Saki dragging Azula closer to her. "I was scared because even knowing who you were I couldn't hate you, and I couldn't hate you more than the moment and I couldn't hurt you more than that, I would never be able to rat you out to the avatar and I knew it."

"You're such a softie," chuckled Azula, and then winced at her wounds. "You know what; I'm never going to get the avatar truly pissed at me ever again. You people might be agreeable most of the time, but when you lose your temper you really go out."

"Right, but at the moment I might not be the cause for most of your pain," said Saki but slowly eased her friend up. "But at the moment what is probably… what the hell have you been doing down here?"

"I contacted the spirit, seemed I was the cause of the problems," said Azula with a small smile.

"It really was angry that you were here?" asked Saki, sounding shocked. She blushed and just stared at the stone ground.

"No, it wasn't angry at me until it looked at my past; it actually just wanted to meet me before that," said Azula with an odd smile. "As I said before, it wasn't impressed and I guess it just sort to set this test on me."

"To see if anyone could forgive you. But why, that doesn't prove anything. And where is this spirit?" asked Saki. "Did it just decide… why did it want to see you?"

"Apparently we're supposed to be one in the same," said Azula. "It's the reason that something seemed missing, or at least why I always felt so cold."

"You are a rebirth, without the souls of your past?" asked Saki.

"Yeah, I guess that I had some, but without the part that was more than human," said Azula.

"More than human? You mean that whatever you're a reincarnation of, it's not entirely human?" asked Saki. "Well, that would explain this I suppose, if it really did join with you again."

"It did," said Azula sleepily. She felt her eyes drop. "Good night Saki."

She fell asleep instantly, comfortable in her friend's arms.

-----

"You need to wake up," said a gentle voice near her head. Azula blinked her head and turned to look to see Saki leaning over her. "You have no idea what it took me to convince them that I wasn't the cause of you being passed out."

"I'm sure that was very difficult to do that with everyone knowing I was outside during the thunderstorm," said Azula sarcastically. She pushed herself up, while she knew that her back was killing her at the moment, but lying on her still injured chest hurt like hell. Saki helped her with a small smile.

"Actually, no one knew that but me and your uncle before that. I explained what happened, sorta. Without giving away who you were," said Saki she stood up and went to the side.

"My uncle… bastard, he did know," spat Azula, Saki giggled. Azula looked at her warily for a second. "How is it that you can go from totally angry to alright to who I am?"

"You know that I was happy when you called me your ghost, it meant that we were always meant to meet," said Saki, Azula had no idea where the girl was going with this, but she hoped it wouldn't be too sappy. "It would mean that what I felt for you meant it was just remembering the things that I had forgotten when I feel into those deep sleeps. But, the more I was around you; my feelings would grow until I couldn't identify them. Then you turned out to be… you, just as I figured out what I wanted, and it freaked me out, and I blamed you for it all. But I can't fight…"

Azula shut her up with a kiss. The girl could be as sappy and cliché as Aang and Katara could be on ther worst days. She really didn't want to hear it. She broke away from Saki's lips, the girl opening her eyes and then blushing a deep red. She looked shocked and a little out of her comfort zone. But the way she had acted meant she was interested, and perhaps even learning to accept the idea.

"What did you do that for?" asked Saki her voice a little chocked.

"You were going sappy on me," said Azula with a smile. "I really didn't want to listen to it, so I thought I would speed things along."

"How romantic of you," said Saki sarcastically, rolling her eyes and standing up.

"I don't do romantic, I'm nothing if not practical," said Azula, and then smiled. "I may change for you Saki, but nothing is going to make me listen to something like that until you can say it with a little more originality."

"Picky," teased Saki, holding a hand out for Azula to grip. Azula moved forward and gently touched Saki to bring her forward; Saki grabbed her hand and smiled thinly. "Give me time."

"Right," said Azula with a sigh sitting back and looking at her nails.

"You'll wait for me, right?" asked Saki with mock sweetness.

"Not like I have any choice," said Azula seriously, but smiled and Saki hit her over the head.

"What about Sokka?" asked Saki, her voice only slowing a little worry.

"He's not attracted to me," said Azula seriously. Saki looked more worried and frowned.

"Come on, get up before I decide that even considering dating you would mean I had headaches the rest of my life," said Saki and helped Azula up. She led the blue haired girl to the mirror and turned her around. She turned her around and looked into a full length mirror, though she couldn't see the whole of her back. But of what she could see was a tattoo of a red bird that covered most of her back. No, not just a red bird a…

"Phoenix," said Saki confidently.

"Why am I wearing a backless shirt?" asked Azula.

"What? Azula, you have a big ass tattoo of a phoenix that a spirit somehow inscribed on your skin, and if you hadn't noticed your chest doesn't ache anymore, it's just your back," Azula blinked and concentrated. Saki was right, though it still stung like hell, it was only her back, not her other wounds like she had thought. "There aren't even any scars where they used to be."

"Nope, now I've got this damn thing that sticks out worse than a sore thumb," sighed Azula.

"Aang already knows about it," said Saki with a laugh. "You could you try to be agreeable."

"Then I wouldn't be me," said Azula with a smirk over her shoulder.

"Azi, Saki," the door was thrown open and Lux ran in. Azula glared while Saki sighed. Lux just stared. "What happened to your back Azi?"

"None of your concern Luz," said Saki handing Azula a thin over shirt. Azula slipped it on. "Now, what is the big deal?"

"It's the sky, something is… taking it over," said Lux. Both girls just stared at him. "The avatar is waiting for you on top of the roof."

They both nodded and started heading in that direction, Lux close behind. The sky was turning black, the color slowly being drained away. They walked next to the avatar and his friends. The avatar was surrently freaking out and passing, muttering under his breath.

"What have they figured out?" asked Saki to Toph.

"Everything's wrong!" screamed Aang making them all jump. Saki didn't think her nerves would stand another the Avatars constant need to appear right in front of her face and practically scream what was wrong. "It seems that the spirit helped balance the world and now it's gone and the sky is turning black, because it was apparently a fire spirit…"

"Imagine that," muttered Saki, Azula held in a smile, this was serious.

"And it's needed to keep the earth receiving the sun's rays, even though that makes no logical sense," the Avatar now started pacing. "And it's just gone, there isn't even a trace of it left anywhere in the spirit world…"

"What about the physical world?" asked Saki, Azula stiffened and fought the urge to glare at the other girl.

"Why would a spirit… Yes, maybe it is," said the Avatar with wide eyes.

"Well, a spirit isn't liable to just disappear, what happens if it's here," asked Zuko.

"Then this happens," said Aang with a wave at the sky. "Right Sokka?"

"You figured it out?" asked Azula, looking at the water tribesman in surprise. He preened under the supposed praise.

"Yup, you see, this spirit is the spirit of the phoenix. Since it is the representation of what the fire nation is. Nothing like the moon, but more like the two fish that represented it. Fire bending cannot exist without it, and as the world would have been eventually destroyed by the lack of the moon, so would it happen without the phoenix, just with more flash."

"So, how do we balance it out? Aang said the spirit was in this world, do we need to send it up to the sky?" asked Toph.

"Actually, all we have to do is find the bird that it's been reincarnated into," said Sokka with a shrug. "It shouldn't be too hard. The last bird that was the phoenix was killed here and the air benders did all they could to destroy it. They sealed the spirit so that it could not reincarnate, but it was uncertain what would happen once they did so, and at the last minute they figured out it would be fatal to all to kill the phoenix completely so they sealed most of the spirit inside the spirit world and allowed a piece to always be recreated here."

"But wouldn't that make the phoenix a little unstable?" asked Katara.

"You have no idea," muttered Saki, but hadn't kept her voice down so everyone heard and then stared at her. No, they weren't staring at her, but at something over her right shoulder. It was then that she noticed how incredibly dark it was. Not completely, but looking at the sky she saw that a few leagues away from them the darkness had spread, which meant that there was only black behind her. Still, from the lights playing across her skin she could swear that's where the greatest light was coming from. Saki turned, realization making her ears burn with humiliation. How couldn't she have guessed? She had heard from Azula's own mouth that she was the phoenix.

Azula was beautiful; her blue fire played gently all around her in small plumes. The flames seeped from her body, burning away her over shirt and leaving the barebacked one in its stead. Azula's gold eyes were hazed over, as if she had fallen into her own mind, her concentration only on the fire spiraling upwards into the only sunny spot left in this eternal night. Her blue hair made the effect even more enchanting.

The avatar seemed to find himself and shake a wake. He ran forward and touched his hand against the rays, just a centimeter from the blue flames. He closed his eyes and just breathed. They sprang open not a minute later.

"Katara, Toph, Zuko, Saki all of you come forward and offer your element to the fire," commanded Aang. Saki felt uncertain, and saw her fear reflected in the other's eyes. But she could tell that the others trusted Aang with their lives and walked forward confidently even with their fear, Saki followed only a step behind.

The four benders lifted their hands. Katara drew a few drops of water from a water holder she always kept at her side and watched mournfully as the fire quickly evaporated it. Toph grabbed a handful of stone from the top of the building and the flames came and started to support its weight upwards, it appeared to be disintegrating, but it could have just been the effect of it rising. Zuko summoned fire to his palm, the red flames quickly absorbed into the blue. Saki made a small ball of air that was quickly run through by the greedy fire.

They all took a step back after their contribution. Aang remained standing, his face in lax concentration for only a minute before the arrows on his body lit a striking white glow that showed he was in the Avatar state. The very warmth around them seemed to press in and then release, throwing warmth and light back into the air. A quick sessions of images, too quick to understand flashed in everyone's mind.

Saki pushed them to the side. All she could see that once again her friend was collapsing in a dead faint to the ground, small trickles of blood appearing under her already red tattoo.


	16. I Wanna Be

Author's Notes: "Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then, I guess you know I'm here after."

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave).

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

I Wanna Be by Emma Roberts

Chapter Sixteen

I Wanna Be

Azule woke to some weird tugging on her head, she would have blamed Saki, but there were too many little tugs to count. Though that could still be the air bender… after yesterday, could she think of the other girl as her girlfriend… yesterday!

"Ah, good your awake, it was getting hard to give Aang reasons why he couldn't come visit you while you were still out of it," said Saki with a smile.

"Why couldn't he visit me?" asked Azula with a small bit of suspicion. Alright, allot of suspicion, but she deserved it. Saki only smiled and ran her hand through her hair. Azula looked at her friend in confusion before bringing her hand up to her hair. It was clumped smoothly together. Azula blinked and forced it forward. Her black strands were braided into many, many small little braids, all tipped with an invisible band.

"Why is my hair… not blue?" asked Azula with a blink during the transition.

"I got bored. I didn't want to leave your side, so I decided to get all that damn dye out. I did, but then this morning I got bored again, and well, now it's all done into little braids that can be left that way for weeks if you treat it right," smiled Saki.

"What is it with you and hair?" asked Azula looking at her friend like she had lost her marbles.

"I like your hair," she said and smiled at the braids.

"You're obsessed, if I didn't know better I'd say you tamed my hair just so you could run your fingers through it," said Azula with a laugh, and stopped at the serious smirk her friend wore.

"What other reason would I take time out of my insane trek to just brush your hair? I didn't care that you were insane, and seeing people's reaction to you was sort of funny," she took a few braids in hand and started playing with them.

"I didn't find it that funny, and I never keep something like that bottled up, so I know you knew," accused Azula, Saki blushed but didn't comment, Azual decided to not press. "But really, why did you get out all the blue?"

"Because I thought it would be best just to be upfront about who you are," said Azula. "I mean, the hair shouldn't have worked so well, your uncle came in here, said some confusing stuff, but mentioned your eyes. He thinks that it's changed enough to throw even your brother off. Anyway, they'll figure it out eventually and…"

"Saki, why?" asked Azula trying to catch her friend's eyes, but she was intent on looking down at her hair and rubbing it between her fingers.

"Because, you're the phoenix, and to rebuild the balance that was offset by the war the avatar has learned that he has to bring together all of the spirits that represents the source of the four bending's. Sokka's happy, apparently he gets to see his old girlfriend," Saki laughed a little and Azula frowned.

"I have to leave you?" asked Azula, Saki laughed. "I have to tell everyone who I am. They'll kill me."

"Apparently that would be a very stupid idea," said Saki happily. "You see, if you were to die then the earth would become dark again until the four elements stabilized and confirmed your existence. So, unless he wants the world plunged into darkness and to die off before you're reborn, he'll just have to get over who you are."

"You mean I'll have to travel with him?" asked Azula, she looked devastated; her girlfriend started laughing at her again. "It's not funny, they're insufferable goody-goodies!"

"Those insufferable goody-goodies looked after you all last week, I'd suggest you show a little respect," scolded Saki.

"I don't want to travel with them!" cried Azula and Saki laughed. Azula smiled up at the girl. She was going to miss Saki, she was just getting to a good level where they hid nothing from each other and on a daily basis, in private, Azula could have stolen quick kisses. She liked Saki's kisses; everyone else's paled in comparison. Well, as soon as she taught the girl to kiss they would, but until then it still felt right.

Of course, she was still ignoring the real problem. She would have to confront her brother. No shields, no witty comments, well, she could work them in, but they probably wouldn't be appreciated. She didn't know how they would react to seeing her. She wouldn't even have the comfort of slipping into madness, because that happy little corner seemed to have disappeared with her transformation. She was warm now; it felt good to be warm. Her brother would be less than impressed though. He had trusted Azi, had talked to her and confided in her when they were practicing.

Azula's thought process stopped with a screeching halt in the next few seconds. Gentle lips were playing against her, unsure but persistent. It took a second of bliss for her brain to kick start and her eyes to open wide and look at Saki. The air bender was blushing very prettily and distracting her again.

"You looked like you needed a distraction," explained Saki with a fierce blush still present. Azula went in for the kill, it tasted so good, but it was over too quickly. Saki's tenseness told Azula that the other girl still wasn't comfortable with the idea. Azula sighed and wished that she could make her friend as sure in their relationship as she was in this temple.

"We really are going to separate, aren't we?" asked Azula, she would see it in Saki's eyes. Saki nodded. "Why, can't you come with us? I'm sure the Avatar wouldn't mind. He'd probably think that you were the perfect person to keep me in line."

"My place is here Azula," was the soft reply. "The air benders need me here, and I can't just leave this to the Elders they're so old they'll just end up screwing everything up."

"Well, I guess it's time to face the music then," said Azula with a sigh.

"Here, Aang wanted you to wear something that showed you represented the fire benders. I don't know where he got it, didn't ask. But here are red shirt and pants. The shirt doesn't even have a back. Apparently you're not supposed to have one so that everyone will know who you are. That's going to be cold when you go to the North Pole. Anyway there is some makeup by the mirror. I'll just be going now."

"Is this your room?" asked Azula, starting to take off her shirt and looking around. Saki turned around to respond and blushed, but still answered.

"Yeah, you weren't actually really hurt this time," said Saki with a shrug. "Your tattoo bled a little, but that stopped quickly enough and they just left you up to me." She backed up and Azula realized that she was serious about leaving.

"Are you really leaving?" she asked with a scoff.

"Yes," was the firm reply as Saki just stared as Azula started to slowly pull up her shirt.

"Why?" asked Azula, smiling in what she hoped was a seductive way. Saki gulped.

"I'll be right in the next room when you're done and I'll take you to see the Avatar," said Saki extremely quickly and sprinted out the door, closing it firmly behind her.

Azula looked at the door for a few minutes, her eyes were amused, but then again, in some ways it made sense. The Phoenix started changing, wondering what Saki would possibly have for makeup, she wanted to really surprise her brother, it would be a sort of revenge, making his heart stop for a few minutes. She looked around and saw her sword by Saki's bed. She loped it around her waist. She might need that if their reactions were to act violent as soon as they saw her. Which, after seeing all the poster for her, that could very well be the case. She also pocketed the little Earth Kingdom doll. But that was just in case her mother insisted on having it back. She had burned the last one her mother had tried to give her as a small child. Though, perhaps that shouldn't count in her mind since it had technically been from her git of an uncle.

-----

This was a delicate operation. She couldn't afford to be caught by the enemy. Azula checked out the door and looked around. Good Saki wasn't there either. All she had left were the stairs and then she could have her brother and his friends on her own, without Saki there to try and smooth things over. Who knew what that could do?

She snuck up the stairs, she wasn't even sure that Saki knew she was going. The air bender might think that Azula was just trying to gain the courage to face them as who she truly was. The thing was, Azi was her real personality, Azula was part of her past, and them not being able to see that would only prove that she was wrong about thinking the world could be balanced with good people in it. No, that wasn't her own thought. Azula swatted the air testily. This whole being a great spirit was kind of annoying when it came right down to it.

She snuck on the roof and breathes a sigh of relief to see The Avatar there with his friends. The maid hadn't been lying. Azula pressed her back against the roof and took a deep breath in and then let it go, settling herself for the mayhem her presence was going to cause in a second.

Small feet beat against the roof as Azula walked forward, as gracefully and with as much aristocratic snobbery as she could summon. The group continued to talk for a few long moments, Katara stopped, her eyes locked and large, just staring at Azula, the former Fire Princess could see that slight fear that meant the water tribe's girls knew who she was. The group slowly seemed to realize that something was wrong and tuned toward her, even her mother seemed shocked still. They moved as one into fighting position ready to strike against Azula. She stopped where she was and bowed in the traditional fire kingdom fashion, bowing as deeply as her hips would allow her without showing off all of her back.

There were a few confused mutters, and she didn't feel as if anyone was running at her to attack. A few slow steps were made toward her, and pair of sandal feet came in front of her. The Avatar if she remembered right.

"Azula?" the voice was filled with hate and confusion, her brother. He sounded right behind the Avatar. She wondered if they would recognize Azi now that they saw her. She might be in a backless shirt and the clothes that the Avatar had given to her as the phoenix spirit, but the cloth that went around her neck was made of loose folded cloth that she had spread over the back of her shoulder. She hoped that she wasn't bending over so much that the phoenix showed, the head was hidden the cloth.

"Fire Lord," she said in reserve. Nobody seemed to know what to do with such a relaxed Azula. Zuko, she was sure, was looking for the cruelty and anger she should be using when calling him the Fire Lord.

"Azula," came a reserved call, new shoes joined next to the avatar's sandals.

"Mother," scolded Zuko, obviously afraid for the woman's health, Azula couldn't really blame him, but she still felt the old bitter stab at the thought that Zuko was taking her mother away from her again. Azula lifted her head slightly, looking a little sideways at her mother through a few braids. She caught her mother's gold eyes in her own, and the woman's eyes widened and she pushed past her brother and the Avatar and brought her into a bone crushing hug.

Azula couldn't help but let her arms slowly come and hug her mother back a little for a few seconds before squirming her way out of her mother's vice like grip.

"You have no idea how glad I am to know that it's you," said Ursa, and Azula looked at the woman in shock. She was glad that she had deceived her and that the person who had tried to kill her precious son had been with them the whole time?

"What are you talking about mother?" asked Zuko. Ursa looked at her son in the same gentle eyes that she had always used when looking at him. She turned back to Azula, her eyes were still kind but they had grown firmer, the look a mother gets when she knows she's dealing with a predictably stubborn child. She made a small circular motion with one finger. Azula sighed but did as instructed and turned around so her back was facing them. A few more gasps were uttered and Azula turned back to them while adjusting her neck strap so it was on correctly.

"But how?" asked Sokka, his grip tightened on a new boomerang that had been fashioned for him. His eyes hardened and he had to be restrained by Toph, Azula lifted an eyebrow but didn't comment. Well, at least one of them had attempted to attack her because of her betrayal, even though it was rather a seething fury then anything immediately troubling.

"So, what was your reason for this?" asked the Avatar. He seemed confused. "Did you really change and not want to leave this place? Or had you been planning to turn these people against Zuko and then me?"

"That wouldn't be very logical," said Azula, she smiled hotly and shifted her weight back on her heels. "These people consider you to be the last air bender before the Avatar, and they respect both of those titles beyond all. Plus, while they might not thrilled to have my brother among them they do know that if he hadn't taken over that the title of Fire Lord would have gone to someone who would make sure that they were eradicated, which by the way, would have been me."

"You can't tell me that you didn't consider revenge even once while you've been here," hissed her brother. Azula smirked at him. It was fun to be riling him up again.

"No, I definitely considered it a whole hell of a lot when you first came here," she said with a twisted smile. They were all once again on the defensive. "That's why I escaped in the first place."

"Then what stopped you?" asked Katara harshly.

"Saki," said Azula with a shrug. "She needed the Avatar to teach air bending again; plus, it wasn't the Avatar I was really angry with, he didn't dethrone me. The only reason before he was my main target in the past was because he got rid of my Saki ghost."

Aang looked confused for a moment and then his eyes widened at the memory.

"You were talking to someone!" he accused unnecessarily and probably confusing everyone else.

"What about me? Why didn't you kill me?" demanded Zuko, his fist tight.

"You and the water tribe's girl," said Azula wanting it to make it perfectly clear who she blamed. "You two were directly responsibility so your death's would have been the most important to carry out. However, Saki was still my problem; there's was little chance that she wouldn't ask me who the killer could have been…"

"And you can't lie to her," said Aang, his eyes growing wide. "Was that really all that held you back?"

"No, in the end…" she blushed; she didn't want to say this. The others laughed; Toph even appeared to be giggling. She didn't think that they had completely accepted her. There would still be those awkward moments, especially if she forced to travel around a lot with her brother. From the look of it Sokka wasn't too happy either.

"So, did anyone here know about you?" asked Zuko stiffly. "Because they all seemed to think that you might have a connection to why the spirit was so restless."

"That was because they had found out I was a fire bender, not the former fire princess," said Azula snidely and then shrugged. "The only one I think knew who I was uncle Iroh."

"Azula!" cried out Saki. Azula flinched; the air bender had to come right in time for her to seem like a liar. From how the others were holding themselves, she guessed that their suspicion was up completely again.

"Hello Saki," said Iroh happily.

"Hello Master Iroh," said Saki with a small wave. "Hey Azula, you could have told me that you wanted to greet them by yourself, I would have paid more attention to make sure you didn't go through with it. But I'm happy you're alright."

Saki nuzzled her nose into the crook of Azula's neck.

"So, how long have you known who she really was?" asked Aang, trying to make it sound like a casual question. Saki blushed a deep red.

"You found out the day that Azula came back nearly dead," breathed Katara, just figuring it out.

"Well, technically I pieced it together the night before that and didn't have proper time to talk to Azula until the day after," said Saki awkwardly. She laughed a little, and most of the tension seemed to drain from the group. "So, I guess now that I've accepted her you're going to take her away."

"Afraid I have to," said Aang with a shrug. "If it makes you feel better I'm not planning to leave her alone, especially now that I know who she is. Not everyone is just going to listen to me when I say that she's safe now. Many people will probably try to kill her because of what she did to their family and so on."

"Well, as long as I have your word," said Saki. "May she take a few things with her?"

"Yeah, but not much because we're using Appa to get around," said Aang. Saki bowed sadly.

"Come on Azula, let's figure out what you need to pack," the two friends left. Saki twining her fingers in Azula's hand and sniffling. Air benders sure were a sappy lot. But Azula held on the others hand with just as much force.

----

The day and the next past in a flurry of movement. Azula had to teach the children once more, the Elders only a little hesitant to allow her to let her continue to teach them after finding out who she was. They had to let her because they couldn't find anyone so late, they couldn't let Gato teach by himself (he was an awful teacher, but a wonderful assistant), and they couldn't even make Mother babysit all day long after the woman had gone on strike for having to watch the monsters alone for a week. So Azula taught as normal, not letting up at all even when her past was brought up, especially then.

Jet, it appeared, was officially now traveling full time with the Avatar. He couldn't go back to the South Pole because that would be torture now that he had found his fire. Besides that, now that he knew Azula was a fire bender he had informed them that he would accept no other fire bending teacher. Azula told him he would be happy with what he got, he was mouthy, and she had sent him on almost impossible jobs. She had never seen someone so happy to be moving a huge bolder up the cliff side with just fire bending.

Everyone's spirits seemed lifted. Sokka eventually got over his slump, and began to torture her for whatever pain she had put him through; he followed her everywhere and just talked. He would leave when she changed or went to the bathroom, and when he she fell asleep. The night before she had been kissing Saki soon after changing when he had walked in talking. He had stopped and blushed and muttered as he left. It would have been funny but Saki had gotten scared also, so at the moment Azula was just pissed at the water tribesman because he had stopped a wonderful goodbye make out session.

Azula packed very few things, clothes, a brush, a few pieces of loose change, and her doll. She was leaving that afternoon on the flying bison's back. She threw her small bag on first, the water tribesman had also given her a tent she could pitch. Sleeping on the dirty ground didn't seem appealing to Azula, but she had slept in worse conditions in her year of raging madness, and she was on thin ice as it was.

The whole temple was gathered to see them off. A few little ones were crying, and one little girl was demanding Mother to tell her who would guard them from the thunder now that Azula was going away.

"Now, remember Azula, after this is done you're expected to come back here. We're all going to miss you," said Saki gripping Azula's hand as she got ready to leave. The Avatar waved sadly to the air benders as he mounted up on the back of Appa.

"Are you sure you can't come?" asked Azula, she didn't want to be without her ghost again. Saki smiled and shook her head.

"This is where I belong, Azula, but don't worry, you're taking a bit of this place with you," said Saki with a huge grin.

"What?"

"Wait up!" Gato half ran, half waddled his way over to Appa huffing. He threw his own small bag of stuff and propelled himself sloppily half up Appa and then started to try and drag himself up the rest of the way.

"Why are you coming?" asked Azula, watching the boy in surprise and not even pretending to be trying to help him up.

"Because we need a representative of each kind of bending that is not the spirit or me," said Aang.

"Are you sure you don't need me to come along," Azula blinked down at her brother, he wasn't coming?

"No, you can go ahead and see a few more places on land with your mother if you really think that is safe," said Aang with a shrug. "We only need someone to offer a flame and Jet'll be fine for that." Azula started climbing onto the flying bison, already positive that she was going to hate this experience.

She and Zuko's dealings with each other had been interesting. They had still practiced fire bending routines together and at dinner had had a polite conversation where they both ignored Saki as he chattered behind them. They had spoken of nothing of real importance and had been careful not to even get close to fire nation politics and ruling. Their ways were so different that they would never see eye to eye. While they would see eye to eye in some obscure and basic areas it would only add fuel to any debates they would have and drive them further apart.

She had a slightly better time with her mother, though she had only seen her two other times. One had been another quick hug and a few tears that had freaked Azula out and she had had no idea what to do to get her mother to stop. The other time had been right after dinner when her mother had commented on her hair and how she would have liked to put it up one more time and then sighed at her braids. Saki had stepped in then and had started talking Ursa, pushing Azula to go to bed. Saki was very possessive with her hair.

Now she was leaving her mother. In a time that felt like she could actually bond with her mother, that this time her mother might be able to accept most of who she was instead of just wishing she was more docile and kind. But again, in his own way, Zuko was taking her away. Azula looked at her brother and with a sigh, decided that he needed her more than she did, no matter how badly she wanted this time, she wanted it perhaps only to prove to her mother she had changed, and not for her love of the woman.

"Yip, yip," said the Avatar. Appa took off and Azula waved down at the children briefly and the longest to Saki. Saki signaled and a group, including her to take to the skies. They circled around Appa for a little while, and after a bit Saki flew in carefully and caught Azula's lips briefly before flying away.

Azula didn't even notice the shocked looks she was getting as she watched the air benders leave. She was going to miss that. They flew on, and Azula continued to ignore the others and just think about the kiss. Maybe after she got over the fact Saki had definitely kissed her in public would she meditate and concentrate on sorting out the thoughts that were flying through her mind.

*****

It wasn't until later that night, after she had pitched the tent, that she remembered something she had meant to do ever since one of Sokka's new favorite topic had become that water tribe girl who had died. She didn't remember the girl's name, and frankly didn't really care. All she cared about was getting the message to Sokka and getting some sleep.

She made her way to Sokka's tent, and opening the flap she found the boy straightening things out. She kicked his foot. He jumped and turned around. He seemed shocked to see her.

"You don't need to say anything, in fact don't, this is just a warning," Sokka blinked in confusion and then frowned and made to speak. "_Listen,_ I don't care what you do, but if you break my brother's heart, I promise I will break you."

And she left the tent, Sokka staring open mouthed at her back. Azula smiled; glad to have gotten that over with. Toph was staring at her in shock, but Azula just smiled wider.

"Nice night, no rain," she said with a smile and continued to her tent. She curled under the covers. It was a warm night, they had had a good meal, and the location was beautiful. It was surprising how doing nothing but flying could make her so exhausted, but maybe it had more to do with all the questions everyone had had around the camp fire. Whatever it was, she found herself easily slipping into the dream world as she clutched the little Earth Kingdom doll to her chest.

END

(If anyone would like to know why go back to the first chapter and read the Author's Notes)

(Now that you have done that and are asking 'why isn't this funny?' it's not supposed to be, it's supposed to be unbearable. Which is why I'm not sure why up until now mostly I've gotten praise, but I'm pretty sure that's just me failing my objective, and that's alright, it usually happens that way. That being said, if anyone is interested in me writing the sequel tell me to, I do know what happens next. Just don't expect the first chapter until the end of May, and know the updates will probably be more sporadic.)


End file.
